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This is what happens when you jump into an exclusive relationship at date #4. You hardly know this person and vice versa. The anger at the old woman and the comment about your car being worth more than "her" was definitely a red flag; at least it would have been for me. You make excuses for your actions, if you read through your post you will recognize this. That comment was actually scary to a certain extent. A human life, regardless of how you feel about them, is far more precious than anything of monetary value.
I don't think she likes you too much, and normally, if you weren't in a relationship, she would just not continue dating you, but since you were, she had to actually "break up" with you and at least she was honest about the reasons. Most people aren't, they just want out. She gave you information to use going forward in your life. Take advantage of this and try to use it to better yourself.
Each relationship we are in and fail in will teach us something. Don't dwell on it, had you continued to date her you would have seen red flags with her as well. Just blow this off and move on.
I have to give you some advice here don't stifle your anger thinking that you need to do that to control yourself. As long as you're not losing control it's a healthy emotion to express I would maybe explain one you have this issue with someone in the future and you get angry and this is how you react and that you're not going to bottle up your emotions because that's not healthy.
Actually, one of the hallmarks of emotional maturity is to be able to control our emotions. By doing so, it gives us a chance to assess the situation...and to respond to it maturely.
Can't say what was going on with the older woman, but something the OP did/didn't do, caused her to respond by hitting his car with her hand. The OP DID say that the woman thought he was going to hit her with his car. How does the OP know that? Did she tell him that? Did he already know he was getting a little too close to her -- kind of 'threatening' to hit her with his car?
And as for the OP to react by saying that his "car is worth more than the older woman", well...that was a pretty childish comment.
This isn't about "stifling" anger; it's about having the maturity to express anger in a healthy mature way. The OP didn't do that, and the girlfriend caught on.
[/quote]I don't think she called it quits over that. People get angry it happens. You're a human being you have emotions I'm betting it was something else that put her off and that was just something she remembers very well[/quote]
The OP may have behaved in other immature ways, but the ways she described to him were the two major ways.
Sorry Hank (and OP), but the OP should have more maturity at 30 years old.
I would have broken up with you, too. Probably before she did.
You do know that you basically called her a skank in front of her friends and you thought that was a good joke. Callingy your girlfriend loose and jokes about hitting are not jokes.
Perhaps you could do something to get your temper under control? And figure out how what you are saying is going to affect other people?
This is the correct answer. It's so odd the OP seems to think he can argue and indignant his way back in her life, never realizing that she saw far bigger red flags she never mentioned.
He doesn't yet understand she gave him the polite and safe break up version.
The only fans comment wouldn't have bothered me as it was clearly a joke.
However the comments you made when you were angry at the old lady would've been a red flag for me too. Of course getting angry in certain situations in natural, however the comments made speak to your character...saying your car is worth more than a human life would make me seriously question your character. I've been angry before, and have been around exes who've been angry. I've never heard anyone say such a comment before....and we've all been in car accidents and fender benders so that's no excuse.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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I’m going to differ and say the only fans part was far more worrisome than the car incident. I’d be furious is someone started putting their hands on my property like that and I’d be cussing them out for sure. However, saying your girl is essentially a “tho”, a terrible look on how one views women.
Actually, one of the hallmarks of emotional maturity is to be able to control our emotions. By doing so, it gives us a chance to assess the situation...and to respond to it maturely.
Yeah in order to do that you have to express your emotions in healthy ways. Making off color remarks away from earshot of the people you are making them about is fine.
Quote:
Can't say what was going on with the older woman, but something the OP did/didn't do, caused her to respond by hitting his car with her hand. The OP DID say that the woman thought he was going to hit her with his car. How does the OP know that? Did she tell him that? Did he already know he was getting a little too close to her -- kind of 'threatening' to hit her with his car?
And as for the OP to react by saying that his "car is worth more than the older woman", well...that was a pretty childish comment.
No it's an expression of emotion in order to maturely control them one must express them.
Quote:
This isn't about "stifling" anger; it's about having the maturity to express anger in a healthy mature way. The OP didn't do that, and the girlfriend caught on.
Saying words is unacceptable now? Disagree it's 100% about stifling anger.
Quote:
The OP may have behaved in other immature ways, but the ways she described to him were the two major ways.
Sorry Hank (and OP), but the OP should have more maturity at 30 years old.
That means but having emotions. It's good this person is out of his life she seems toxic.
Actually, one of the hallmarks of emotional maturity is to be able to control our emotions. By doing so, it gives us a chance to assess the situation...and to respond to it maturely.
Can't say what was going on with the older woman, but something the OP did/didn't do, caused her to respond by hitting his car with her hand. The OP DID say that the woman thought he was going to hit her with his car. How does the OP know that? Did she tell him that? Did he already know he was getting a little too close to her -- kind of 'threatening' to hit her with his car?
And as for the OP to react by saying that his "car is worth more than the older woman", well...that was a pretty childish comment.
This isn't about "stifling" anger; it's about having the maturity to express anger in a healthy mature way. The OP didn't do that, and the girlfriend caught on.
I don't think she called it quits over that. People get angry it happens. You're a human being you have emotions I'm betting it was something else that put her off and that was just something she remembers very well[/quote]
The OP may have behaved in other immature ways, but the ways she described to him were the two major ways.
Sorry Hank (and OP), but the OP should have more maturity at 30 years old.[/quote]
Yeah I still stand by my original point. She's not compatible with the OP.
Making comments about people is as long as it doesn't start a confrontation.
Actually, one of the hallmarks of emotional maturity is to be able to control our emotions. By doing so, it gives us a chance to assess the situation...and to respond to it maturely.
Can't say what was going on with the older woman, but something the OP did/didn't do, caused her to respond by hitting his car with her hand. The OP DID say that the woman thought he was going to hit her with his car. How does the OP know that? Did she tell him that? Did he already know he was getting a little too close to her -- kind of 'threatening' to hit her with his car?
And as for the OP to react by saying that his "car is worth more than the older woman", well...that was a pretty childish comment.
This isn't about "stifling" anger; it's about having the maturity to express anger in a healthy mature way. The OP didn't do that, and the girlfriend caught on.
I don't think she called it quits over that. People get angry it happens. You're a human being you have emotions I'm betting it was something else that put her off and that was just something she remembers very well[/quote]
The OP may have behaved in other immature ways, but the ways she described to him were the two major ways.
Sorry Hank (and OP), but the OP should have more maturity at 30 years old.[/quote]
I am guessing that the woman was walking into the store and the OP passed very close to her in the drive through lane. If he is tailgating her or practically sideswiping her, I can see hitting the car to let the person know that hey, I’m here. Regardless, these three incidents show a sort of pattern of disrespect to women. First joking about hitting, then making the derogatory comment about an older woman, and finally joking about OnlyFans with a woman who has already admitted to abuse in the past. I probably would have peaced out far before the OP’s third incident since we are talking a grown man who is 30, not a guy who is 20.
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