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For the few of you jumping down on me…. Imagine going through all your life thinking Christians are decent people until you actually date one…. He was the 1st Christian I dated and unfortunately it turned out badly…. Never would’ve thought a Christian would have serious anger issues.
He never drank, smoked, or did illicit drugs. No tattoos either on himself… Thought he was the perfect guy.
I used to be one of those people who thought why don’t she just leave when it comes to abusive relationships. Until you been in one, you don’t know hard it is to leave for good.
Everyone has to learn for themselves. Didn't you ?
Maybe it won't take her 10 years.
This is high school. You broke up with him. He had a new one. You started stirring the pot. How much more childish can it get? Sending pictures of damage to a wall due to a tantrum. Letting the world know maybe?
Either cut him loose, stay out of it or move in with him. What do you get out of being a strap hanger?
For the few of you jumping down on me…. Imagine going through all your life thinking Christians are decent people until you actually date one…. He was the 1st Christian I dated and unfortunately it turned out badly…. Never would’ve thought a Christian would have serious anger issues.
He never drank, smoked, or did illicit drugs. No tattoos either on himself… Thought he was the perfect guy.
I used to be one of those people who thought why don’t she just leave when it comes to abusive relationships. Until you been in one, you don’t know hard it is to leave for good.
As a proud atheist I am going to step in here. His religion has absolutely zilch to do with his emotional outbursts. His belief in God doesn't mean he possesses super powers. Religious people are just as prone to mistakes as everyone else. This sounds more like a dig on Christianity than anything else. Which, hey, I won't disagree with on many levels but it seems misplaced here.
But I agree with others here, you seem to thrive on drama. You said mature people stay in contact after they break up, really? Even after the guy basically scared you out of a romantic relationship?
I'm confused by this as well. Not sure the point. He sounds like an angry dude, just move on.
I had an ex that would throw things like that. Like it was no big deal. He'd say oh I was so mad I threw the phone and broke it, tee-hee. He never ever hit me or anyone, it was more like a toddler having a tantrum throwing his toys around. And that is how I saw him, as a big child, and not very attractive as a partner or a man.
Do not react to these posters. Look up Grey Rocking as how to deal with Narcissists. Your trauma is making you react to them. It will never go right. This kind of man is like a scammer, they want to see how much you can take. They think "Maybe I've found a submissive at last."
For the few of you jumping down on me…. Imagine going through all your life thinking Christians are decent people until you actually date one…. He was the 1st Christian I dated and unfortunately it turned out badly…. Never would’ve thought a Christian would have serious anger issues.
He never drank, smoked, or did illicit drugs. No tattoos either on himself… Thought he was the perfect guy.
I used to be one of those people who thought why don’t she just leave when it comes to abusive relationships. Until you been in one, you don’t know hard it is to leave for good.
Are you serious? Any liar can claim to be pious. See their behavior- he lies, he’s angry, violent, cheater, abusive, using, threatening, stalking, narcissistic— STOP listening to his WORDS he is brainwashing you. Deprogramming is what you need, zero contact. Un-addict yourself.
What is hard about leaving a liar, cheat, abuser, user who pretends to be pious? Sounds disgusting.
If you think you cannot find better, then your self esteem needs repair, take time to heal and get help, but any normal person is better than this damaged ill ex who should have stayed in your past.
And you cannot repair or fix him. He is a real distraction from yourself, escapism. Those things are often why people get sucked in by vampires, they have a huge void inside and can’t begin to address it or their other traumas or fears so they think they can focus on something or someone else. Sometimes it’s drugs or substances or a person. It is a crutch. You have to accept you have a void and fill it in a healthier way than pedestalizing who you date or some other savior. You have to accept being stuck with yourself and facing yourself until that isn’t traumatic or terrifying …but comfortable, natural, peace giving.
For the few of you jumping down on me…. Imagine going through all your life thinking Christians are decent people until you actually date one…. He was the 1st Christian I dated and unfortunately it turned out badly…. Never would’ve thought a Christian would have serious anger issues.
He never drank, smoked, or did illicit drugs. No tattoos either on himself… Thought he was the perfect guy.
I used to be one of those people who thought why don’t she just leave when it comes to abusive relationships. Until you been in one, you don’t know hard it is to leave for good.
Being Christian doesn't automatically make one a good person. Plenty of bad people in this world claim to be Christians or hide behind it to wash themselves of culpability for the way they lead their lives. It is good to seek a person of religious faith if that is important to you. However, seek the person that walks the walk not just talks the talk.
Yes. It can be hard to leave. However, you chose to remain in contact. You chose to insert yourself into his business. You continue to create the drama. You chose to create this thread to further fester your thoughts.
I still fail to see the intent or purpose of posting what seems to be simply an account of a bad relationship experience. What exactly are you seeking to discuss? It seems you were seeking validation because now you seem to be upset. You are not getting the response you wanted.
For the few of you jumping down on me…. Imagine going through all your life thinking Christians are decent people until you actually date one…. .
There are good and bad Christians, just like there are good and bad Muslims, and good and bad any other religion, race, political party, any other label you can put on people.
I recently went no contact with a “Christian” man I knew 10 years.
The last straw that broke the camel’s back was when we were having an awful disagreement via text conversation. He went into a rage of anger and punched 2 holes in the wall and threatened to punch more holes. He sent me pictures. It scared the crap out of me. I watched Tik Tok videos about men getting angry then punching holes. It almost always escalates from there. Later that night, I had nightmares.
After things calmed down, I told him that I was blocking him outta of my life…. His response was a cold one acting like he didn’t care. Maybe he didn’t think I was serious.
Why did some nut job breaking his own stuff in his own home all alone scare you? You two had been broken up for over a year and a half. You were only texting him, not in the same room or house or even on the same block as him. How could "it" escalate, if you were broken up, and safe and sound at home? If he wants to burn down his own home, it has nothing to do with you. You need to put this guy out of your mind and get on with your life.
Perhaps consider getting some counseling, and maybe some treatment for emotional trauma (the nightmares after watching the TikTok videos, and seeing the photos he sent you) with an EMDR practitioner. A relatively short series of sessions could help calm you after the fact, and help you put this behind you, unless you want to go deeper, to explore why you stayed involved with this guy on one level or another for 10 years. That would take a longer commitment to counseling. Maybe your extended experience with this man was a sort of wake-up call to do some deep reflection.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 06-09-2023 at 10:33 PM..
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