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I have a friend who has started dating a guy a few months ago that she really likes. He actually seems really nice - down to earth, I really liked him for her when we met him.
Now she is concerned because he told her that he went to prostitutes twice as a young man. Apparently he went with friends and only slept with one once - said he wasn't really into it, but was in his late teens and just went along with it.
Now it's 10 years later and he says he's uninterested in that kind of thing, but she's worried.
I asked if it was 'safe' sex, and he says it was. They also went together for a whole set of tests to make sure everything was ok (no HIV, etc). This is quite a common thing for serious couples to do in the UK.
Any thoughts? Should she be put off for something he did a decade ago?
I think she should not worry, but be happy that he felt secure enough to share that experience with her. What do you think?
Yeah just because he slept with a prostitute doesn't make him more likely to cheat. I trust him if he told your friend. And don't worry about STD's a condom protects against most of them.
Why hold something that someone did in their teens against them?
He only did it once, and he has been checked out by the doctor, so I say..give him a chance! Don`t make him eat it forever...
I don't think his actions are that uncommon- I know of quite a few men who claim to have done the same when they were younger. Especially those who were in the military.
Let's see. The guy volunteered the information even though there was no way she could have possibly found out?
I mean let's get honest, both men and women. Did you tell your now significant other about every bit of strange you ever brought home for a little casual humpalumpadingdong? Have you ever omitted just the teensiest little detail from your "let's tell about our past sex life" discussion?
To be honest, I kind of lost count of the number of bedmates I had previous to meeting my wife. No, I wasn't proud of the fact. No, I never had to pay for it. Yes, I took all the precautions. So I would say that your friend should be grateful for guy's full disclosure. Makes him seem like a pretty honest guy to me.
Who cares about someone's past? We have all done things that we would rather forget and wished we haven't.
Personally, as long as she has no kids and no diseases, I couldn't care less about her past, it's her present and future that matter. If she was a former pornstar it wouldn't matter to me, as everyone deserves a second chance.
I agree really, but she feels that it shows poor judgement on his part. She thinks it's 'gross'. Lol.
Must admit I wouldn't be wild about the idea of my SO with a prostitute either, but the guy is otherwise great and this happened along time ago. Not like it was last week! I think it would be different if it was an ongoing thing. Like he usually visits someone for paid sex once a month or something like that. That would not be cool.
I think that she'll get over it - it's just something she has to process. I don't think it will be a deal breaker - at least I hope not! From what I've heard and seen, I am thinking that there's wedding bell potential for them. Ahhh.
I don't know what to say. My soon-to-be ex husband did alot of things in his past that he told me about voluntarily (drugs, cheated on his first wife, etc.). I took the stance that, hey, it's in his past and married him anyways. But as it turned out, he didn't tell me everything (including having sex with prostitutes). In the end, he cheated on me with prostitutes - and started using drugs again. So on the one hand, I want to be hopeful and say that you should not hold someone's past against them, especially if they are upfront about it, but I got burned by that one...
It sounds like he's an honest person at least, in reality she could have never found out unless he volunteered this information. So it seems like he deserves the benefit of the doubt when it comes to this.
Nobody can go back and change the past, we can only control our actions from this minute forward. And he seems to be dedicated to not repeating those past mistakes.
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