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i slept with someone who i had a crush on 2-3 years ago. i think we used to have feelings with each other. but when we hung out the other day with a mutual friend, everything seemed cool because i can tell we were both flirting. This is the first time we actually hung out. he would talk most when the mutual friend is gone. The mutual friend also likes me. My feelings for him came back, and i never slept with anyone in like 4 months. so i easily gave in. he did things to me that he usually doesnt to other girls.. after, he talked about his personal life of the past, and what he needs to make him happy (which was a lasting relationship). i slept over, and hung out til the next night. he did little things for me, like waited for me to walk through all the doors first, get me a bag for my food, held my hand when it was icy, things a gentleman would do. Us 3 friends have also planned other days to hang out, but i dont know if he only wants to hang out to sleep with me Again!
So what im askin is: do you think he likes me, even if i quickly slept with him? or is he just being a gentleman?
Last edited by AMARIE23; 12-17-2008 at 03:57 PM..
Reason: ..
Hmmmm. Well it depends. There are many guys who date girls that sleep with them on the first date. If you are uncomfortable about his motives, when he asks you out on a date again, tell him you'll go but you'd prefer to go slow for a while in that department. If he really like you he'll be OK with that, if not he'll bolt and you'll hae your answer. I don't automatically assume a woman is "easy" if they have sex on the first date. Sometimes things just happen.
It's a fascinating realization that some relationships *can* indeed work out later in life or when you meet at a later time. This never occurred to me when I was 24 and thought relationships were linear and either worked or didn't work. So maybe he's interested, maybe he's just flirting, or maybe he just wants to sleep with you again. You also have some stake in what happens next.
so you had the crush 3 years ago, but you guys slept together recently... and now you dont know if he wants something serious or not.
well maybe you should have waited to do the nasty. its very easy to open up your legs. you should have built a friendship/relationship first, then proceeded to a possible intimate relationship.
all you can do, short of asking him straight out, is wait for the next time you see each other. hold out instead of sleepign together. the next time after that, maybe just kiss. if he asks whats up, then take that as an invitation to discuss what you are thinking. but before that be sure of what you want.
do you want to be in a long term relationship with this person?
do you just enjoy the sex?
is it companionship you want?
is it the idea of being with him?
figure it out. if its just physical, then have fun and play. hopefully no one gets hurt along the way.
I wouldn`t assume anything just yet. Ya` all are just hangin` out, having a good time, right? So, try not to worry about it. What happened between the two of you, sounds nice. Be glad that he didn`t snob you, after you slept with him.
Until he asks you personally for a date, enjoy your friendships!
1.) He likes you and wants more than just sex from you which is why he told you he wants a lasting relationship and acted like a gentleman
2.) He is a lying, manipulating, creepy jerk who has no intentions of having you around for more than sex which is why he told you he wants a lasting relationship and acted like a gentleman (to get you to have sex with him again and again and again while dangling that little idea over your head, i.e "it can't just be for the sex because he once said he wanted a lasting relationship and acted like such a gentleman")
3.) He doesn't know what he wants
Best of luck! If you're brave enough, ask him out on a date and not have sex with him this time, but let him know that you're interested.
It's a fascinating realization that some relationships *can* indeed work out later in life or when you meet at a later time.
Yeah, it seems like you can meet the right people at the wrong time. It's particularly true when a marriage has been involved. Some very lousy 2nd+ spouses could've made quite good 1st ones. The pitfalls are more circumstantial than due to character flaws per se.
I know, it sucks. It's like I'm trapped in marital hell and meanwhile Mr. Hotpants crosses my path and I just KNOW he is the most perfect being in all the universe ... and he should be with me. Unfortunately for me, the guy seems to have some integrity because he knows I'm married, we obviously have an attraction to each other, but he has been nothing but extremely gentlemanly toward me. It's not as though I'm throwing my panties at him or anything, but DAMN!!!!!!! Ya know???!!!
i slept with someone who i had a crush on 2-3 years ago. i think we used to have feelings with each other. but when we hung out the other day with a mutual friend, everything seemed cool because i can tell we were both flirting. This is the first time we actually hung out. he would talk most when the mutual friend is gone. The mutual friend also likes me. My feelings for him came back, and i never slept with anyone in like 4 months. so i easily gave in. he did things to me that he usually doesnt to other girls.. after, he talked about his personal life of the past, and what he needs to make him happy (which was a lasting relationship). i slept over, and hung out til the next night. he did little things for me, like waited for me to walk through all the doors first, get me a bag for my food, held my hand when it was icy, things a gentleman would do. Us 3 friends have also planned other days to hang out, but i dont know if he only wants to hang out to sleep with me Again!
So what im askin is: do you think he likes me, even if i quickly slept with him? or is he just being a gentleman?
It is possible, even probable he does like you. Back in 2005, a co-worker and I flirted at a happy hour and we gave into temptation. He tried calling and wanted to date but I thought he was just being a gentleman lol. Well..fast forward a couple of years of messed up relationships for both of us and managed to get the timing right. He's my husband now...
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