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Had you known about this before you got married would you still have married your husband? Do you love him or did you get married in love with having children?
This is a disappointment, it's not the end of the world. Mourn it and take your time making any decisions about it.
I'm not exactly questioning your story, but cystic fibrosis is inherited through a gene from both parents. I'm a carrier, but my husband is not, so our children could not have CF.
So your husband being a CF carrier doesn't give your child "a higher chance" of having the disease. The only thing that gives your child ANY chance of having the disease is if YOU ALSO are a carrier. And then the odds would be 25% per child. Have you been tested?
This was my understanding as well.
OP, one bright side is that you found out right away! It seems like sperm donors and adoption are both your best options. Adopting out of foster care is inexpensive, and there are a lot of babies/kids that truly do need homes.
Your path to a joyful married life will be successful if you hold eachother’s hands, become creative in fulfilling your goals, always find humor and fun, and understand how fortunate you are to be two healthy adults with food in the fridge and a roof over your head.
After you have each licked your wounds, get busy in finding a solution you can agree on together. View this as a test of how you can work as a team to stand together in this life. Over the years, there will be many blows that will be difficult or impossible to address. This one is far from insurmountable.
I'm not exactly questioning your story, but cystic fibrosis is inherited through a gene from both parents. There is no other way to get it. I'm a carrier, but my husband is not, so our children could not have CF.
So your husband being a CF carrier doesn't give your child "a higher chance" of having the disease. The only thing that gives your child ANY chance of having the disease is if YOU ALSO are a carrier. And then the odds would be 25% per child. Have you been tested?
It's only your perception that it's a bad thing not to have kids, your husband's inability to have children might work out for the best for you. Almost every family I know has problems and estrangement with other family members. 'Hope whatever is in your best interest happens for you, we never know how things will turn out.
I feel life is cruel sometimes to people that don't deserve it.
Life is oftentimes cruel to people that don't deserve it. No one is immune to its cruelty.
I know that you're devastated but I hope that you're being there for your husband. He's feeling it on two fronts - he can't father children naturally and he feels as if he's failed his wife.
As another poster commented, both parents have to be carriers for CF to be passed to their child. If you're not a carrier, I'd recommend getting a second opinion.
I think that once the initial shock of this wears off, you will come to see that your hopes and dreams of parenting a child together can still happen.
If you need to get a second opinion on the genetic testing, do so. Experts sometimes get things wrong and it would be good to have this all verified.
You are fortunate that you are both still very young and you have the time to explore the options together.
Exactly.
Life doesn't always go as planned.
And yes, artificial means are expensive and not certain. You might get pregnant with his or donated sperm the first time or you might not.
Adoption is an alternative. Its not inexpensive either, but neither is having a child through your own pregnancy.
We got married late and eventually tried in vitro unsuccessfully. Doctor said there was no reason it couldn't work, but he couldn't predict how many tries it might take. After 3 times we moved on to adoption. And our two children are a blessing. We can't imagine it any other way.
Some may think this song is kind of kitschy, but I've always loved it.
"Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens.
Promise me you that you'll give faith a fighting chance.
And when you get the chance to sit it out or dance,
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