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You should have asked him what brought that on after all these years, along with "and it turned out for the best in the long run."
Maybe as someone recently cheated on him and he's reflecting on when he's done that to people. Or, as someone else said, a 12 step program. Or he's dying, or or or ......no telling until you ask.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie
He gave me a brief update, but nothing pertinent. It’s just weird, out of the blue, when we cross paths since we’re part of the same orbit. I never really trusted him re cheating. Too many opportunities and we weren’t THAT serious. He married the woman he cheated with.
She’s since divorced him. He has a silly comb-over hairstyle and flaunts his affluence, with young women on expensive dates.
He might have quit drinking, though I never detected a real problem. He looked fit and active on his profile when I checked.
I rarely think of him, but I was nice about his apology because he’s still clueless.
May be that it was out of the blue. But like E-Twist said, "You should have just asked him..."
And while *you* didn't detect a drinking problem 20+ years ago, a LOT can happen with drinking during that 20 years.
In any case, if you have no plans to contact him in the future, I'd simply be grateful for the apology, and stick it in the archives of my mind...
He gave me a brief update, but nothing pertinent. It’s just weird, out of the blue, when we cross paths since we’re part of the same orbit. I never really trusted him re cheating. Too many opportunities and we weren’t THAT serious. He married the woman he cheated with.
She’s since divorced him. He has a silly comb-over hairstyle and flaunts his affluence, with young women on expensive dates.
He might have quit drinking, though I never detected a real problem. He looked fit and active on his profile when I checked.
I rarely think of him, but I was nice about his apology because he’s still clueless.
Not really. I saw it on Facebook, today — went through his profile to see if I could gather a few clues. I know the barest outline of these things because we cross paths occasionally. He rides his bike all over town.
I have an ex whom I treated horribly. That was 28 years ago and I really wish I could clear my conscience and apologize.
I am guessing that every time he sees you, he feels guilty. Maybe he isn't that bad of a person after all and just doesn't want to take this guilt to his grave and wants to let you know that he has regrets. I would certainly feel weird if I cheated on someone and then years later see them and they are nice to me. Makes me feel even more like a dick if they are nice and not hostile/refuse to talk to me.
I have an ex whom I treated horribly. That was 28 years ago and I really wish I could clear my conscience and apologize.
I am guessing that every time he sees you, he feels guilty. Maybe he isn't that bad of a person after all and just doesn't want to take this guilt to his grave and wants to let you know that he has regrets. I would certainly feel weird if I cheated on someone and then years later see them and they are nice to me. Makes me feel even more like a dick if they are nice and not hostile/refuse to talk to me.
Haha, that’s pretty funny. Yeah, I’ve always been nice and somewhat embarrassed when I saw him because I was honestly upset when we broke up. I didn’t know about the cheating. That’s his problem, not mine.
I have an ex whom I treated horribly. That was 28 years ago and I really wish I could clear my conscience and apologize.
I am guessing that every time he sees you, he feels guilty. Maybe he isn't that bad of a person after all and just doesn't want to take this guilt to his grave and wants to let you know that he has regrets. I would certainly feel weird if I cheated on someone and then years later see them and they are nice to me. Makes me feel even more like a dick if they are nice and not hostile/refuse to talk to me.
100% agree here. I cheated on my high school sweetheart and to this day, almost 30 years later, I wish I could apologize for that behavior. I would love to be able to apologize for that and other things but I'm guessing she probably understands that a teen/20something male coming into his own probably wasn't mature enough to be able to handle a 100% monogamous relationship while away at different universities. Had we met 10+ years later after I'd grown up and got all of that nonsense out of my system I'm guessing we'd still be together.
I would guess the apology is more about himself than you. Just like when he cheated on you...all about HIM. he sounds pitiful at this point and he did you a favor 20 years ago.
Maybe he's just trying to clean up some emotional debris that bothers him. While he sounds superficial, perhaps some past behaviors bother him and he's trying to make amends.
At any rate, IMO it's a plus. Take if for what it's worth. It sure beats him being crazy, by a long shot.
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