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Keep in mind that a lot of IT and other STEM types may not have the most advanced social skills. I know I was like that when I was younger, and may still be a bit. That and let's face it, "sexual harassment" is more likely to be accused to a man, than a woman. My point is you can come on a bit stronger, and you will probably have to come on a bit stronger than he will, he's not likely to match your "come on" intensity. Because it's riskier for him.
I have had workplace romances that came and went amicably. I was never one to represent myself as a "White Knight" who was going to marry these ladies and have babies with them. I never was the marriage and kids type so if that was what they wanted nothing ever happened. We didn't commingle finances, we didn't live together. We just dated.
Now, getting back to my first point, now that I'm single again, any lady I find attractive can get as aggressive as she wants with me, just don't literally tear my clothes off while I'm at work, I need them to go home in, OK?
Get a group of coworker friends to agree to go to happy hour after work, and invite him along in person, maybe during a coffee break. You'll find out pretty soon from that if he's into you or not I guess, but still leave yourself some wiggle room to avoid complete embarrassment if it's a stone cold rejection.
I've started to develop feelings for a co-worker over the last few weeks. I try to find excuses to speak to him (he works on another floor) and have sent a few email work requests on behalf of my team regarding issues we are having. He works in IT. We have spoken on and off over the last couple of years and I felt like he might like me a bit, but I have never shown any interest in him and nothing has ever happened.
I think he might be divorced, though I am not sure and it's awkward trying to find out if he is single without making it obvious. His FB is pics of him, no status shown (we are not friends on FB). He doesn't answer my emails and so I end up calling him or going to see him. I asked him why he does not reply and he says I should know he is handling things so he doesn't need to reply... but then I end up going to see him to get an answer. I said if he replied, I would not need to call / see him. He then said he doesn't mind me going to see him. He said to me "you'll always be bothering me", but I know this is joking, and not a complaint. I asked a co-worker about this and she also agreed he will be joking about this, he's sarcastic and laid back. I recently tried flirting with him and he wasn't against it, he teased me a bit by making fun of me and said something, but because I had playfully just slapped his knee, did not catch it. I don't usually flirt with men, it's new to me...I'm not very experienced taking the lead. He has asked me if I have children and he once asked me who I went with on a walk, but this could just be general friendly chit chat.
I'm thinking as I've only felt this way for a short period, he might not have a clue what is going on in my head... I don't think he knows the real reason I email him / phone him a lot, but am not sure and that he is just not interested.
It's hard trying to talk to him, as I feel I need a work reason to go see him. He has said I can borrow some sugar, but I feel if he isn't into me, I will just be annoying / getting on his nerves. Do I step it up so he knows that I like him and risk looking a creep or do I pull back and see what he does (even though he may be oblivious).
He's a coworker. I'll refer to two pieces of advice.
1. Don't poop where you eat.
2. Don't dip your pen in the company ink. Or, don't let him dip his pen in your ink, however you word that one for your situation.
Ok, so I was brave and spoke to him and asked directly if he would like to go for coffee. He said ok and we met up that lunchtime.. I found out he was married AND had a girlfriend, that he also liked someone at work, was on a dating site AND was hoping to meet someone on his Xmas work do tonight. I was shocked to be honest, as I thought he was a nice friendly guy, to realise he was an attention-seeking womaniser.
Ok, so I was brave and spoke to him and asked directly if he would like to go for coffee. He said ok and we met up that lunchtime.. I found out he was married AND had a girlfriend, that he also liked someone at work, was on a dating site AND was hoping to meet someone on his Xmas work do tonight. I was shocked to be honest, as I thought he was a nice friendly guy, to realise he was an attention-seeking womaniser.
That sucks. It least you figured it out quickly.
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