When a spouse isnt' allowed to see the financials (marriage, woman, husband)
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My adult married daughter's husband, won't share his personal financial information with her. They live in his condo, so she's not on the mortgage or deed. He is highly educated and has a very well paying position. She too, is also highly educated and has a good position, although her salary is less than half of his (or what I am assuming his salary is). They each put X amount of dollars each month into a joint checking account to handle expenses. She uses her own personal credit card for clothes, and what evers. He constantly watches their "joint" credit card which is used for groceries, baby diapers, etc. His mother, an accountant, does their income taxes and my daughter has never seen them. She asks, and always gets blown off. Someone else signs her return...not sure if it is the husband or MIL who is doing the signing.
I know that she is an adult and she got herself into this situation, but how do you get out of it?
My adult married daughter's husband, won't share his personal financial information with her. They live in his condo, so she's not on the mortgage or deed. He is highly educated and has a very well paying position. She too, is also highly educated and has a good position, although her salary is less than half of his (or what I am assuming his salary is). They each put X amount of dollars each month into a joint checking account to handle expenses. She uses her own personal credit card for clothes, and what evers. He constantly watches their "joint" credit card which is used for groceries, baby diapers, etc. His mother, an accountant, does their income taxes and my daughter has never seen them. She asks, and always gets blown off. Someone else signs her return...not sure if it is the husband or MIL who is doing the signing.
I know that she is an adult and she got herself into this situation, but how do you get out of it?
Hoo boy. First IMO she should talk to an attorney. She might want to talk to a therapist too.
This family secrecy is mighty odd, and tax fraud is no laughing matter.
Sonny and mummy sound like quite the pair. Your daughter should prepare herself psychologically for chaos or divorce. I would never stand for this and she shouldn't either. What's with all the secrets?
IRS trouble has a capital T.
If someone else is signing the taxes it's illegal. I don't know, but she might be able to get a copy of the taxes from the IRS. She should probably get her own PO box for mail if she's going to have them send a copy. If they will do it through email she better have her own email address, too.
Here's the thing - is she otherwise happy in the marriage? How long have they been married? Why can't she say stop blowing me off - I want to see the taxes? Is her husband abusive? Is she afraid of him? Do they have children?
Did she bring this up to you or were you asking about his financials. Because if you asked, maybe she just doesn't want to tell you. Otherwise, you kind of brought up a wimp for a daughter. Financials should be shown and discussed before marriage. Every marriage has their own system for their financials. What works for one might not for another. DH and I kept ours separate, but we did share info, and we had to see the tax accountant together to go over and sign taxes. There were no secrets.
I will contribute NOTHING to OUR finances FROM THIS POINT FORWARD, UNLESS you are WILLING to DISCUSS OUR finances in a reasonable, mature manner...that's beneficial to BOTH of us.
STOP contributing to the supposed "joint account"...unless and UNTIL he agrees to YOUR FAIR terms.
What's FAIR is not always EQUAL. If he wanted EQUAL, he should have married a woman who makes what HE makes.
A spouse that is ignorant of the family finances is a spouse that will be in serious trouble down the road. Why would anyone intentionally tolerate this?
If someone else is signing the taxes it's illegal. I don't know, but she might be able to get a copy of the taxes from the IRS. She should probably get her own PO box for mail if she's going to have them send a copy. If they will do it through email she better have her own email address, too.
Here's the thing - is she otherwise happy in the marriage? How long have they been married? Why can't she say stop blowing me off - I want to see the taxes? Is her husband abusive? Is she afraid of him? Do they have children?
Did she bring this up to you or were you asking about his financials. Because if you asked, maybe she just doesn't want to tell you. Otherwise, you kind of brought up a wimp for a daughter. Financials should be shown and discussed before marriage. Every marriage has their own system for their financials. What works for one might not for another. DH and I kept ours separate, but we did share info, and we had to see the tax accountant together to go over and sign taxes. There were no secrets.
Probably filing them online where you only need a PIN.
I will contribute NOTHING to OUR finances FROM THIS POINT FORWARD, UNLESS you are WILLING to DISCUSS OUR finances in a reasonable, mature manner...that's beneficial to BOTH of us.
STOP contributing to the supposed "joint account"...unless and UNTIL he agrees to YOUR FAIR terms.
What's FAIR is not always EQUAL. If he wanted EQUAL, he should have married a woman who makes what HE makes.
Sorry...this is a real SORE SPOT for me...
Not only that, I’ll add:
You won’t let me look at the tax returns? Well, you will never be able to pry my W2 from my clenched hands. Try filing taxes now.
Mad? Want me to make you madder? I’m hiring my own accountant and will file married separately. I’m claiming the kids—make sure you tell your mom.
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