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I have been divorced headed on 15 years. I am in a long term relationship, but it doesn't compare to my married life. I often find myself sad after all these years at times and wish I was still in my old relationship. I miss the ex but would never trust her or want a relationship with her, but I miss what we had.
Any other guys here feel the same after 10+ years divorced? Usually some BS or Drama from the current GF triggers these feelings. My old life was drama free. I can't be the only one that feels this way.
I can understand that feeling completely. I miss some of the good things, but I don't miss nor forget the reasons we divorced. It's easy to remember the good stuff. I'm lucky to still be part of my mil and fil lives but haven't spoken to the ex in years.
I hope you guys will re marry. Most men (and women) don't choose "right" the first time and that affects the second time, if they even take that chance again. Good luck, from a lady.
It sounds to me as if your current relationship is not completely satisfactory. Your comment that your marriage was drama free, for example. Obviously something went wrong because you ended up divorced, but it doesn't sound like your current partner is right for you. If you were with the right person you wouldn't miss your old relationship.
Yeah l thought the same thing op.
Myself, even though my new partner hasn't worked out now there were many times l felt v lucky to be in this and have our thing rather than the later parts of my marriage.
l do miss being married though and yeah l'd like to remarry if right person.
I have been divorced headed on 15 years. I am in a long term relationship, but it doesn't compare to my married life. I often find myself sad after all these years at times and wish I was still in my old relationship. I miss the ex but would never trust her or want a relationship with her, but I miss what we had.
Any other guys here feel the same after 10+ years divorced? Usually some BS or Drama from the current GF triggers these feelings. My old life was drama free. I can't be the only one that feels this way.
Hello my friend. Since I do know your story, I would like to add my two cents.
First, you don't know for how long your ex wife was unhappy and possibly had just given up to fight for the relationship. Would you have preferred to be in one of these loveless marriages where people live in the same household but try to avoid each other and live separate lives under the same roof? Take a minute, sit down and think back - was your married life really that great? If it was, you would still be together.
Second, our brains tend to remember the good stuff only. It is kind of tricking us. I used to tell people that my marriage was drama free, we never fought, he is a great guy but we were just too different. Then I met up with my ex husband again years later and after a few hours we started bickering and I suddenly remembered all the reasons why it did not work out. It gave me great closure.
I think your marriage ended abruptly and you never got closure, so maybe that's why it is harder for you to get over it. All I can say is that women don't usually wake up in the morning and decide to get divorced all of a sudden. We are often times unhappy for a long time until we pull the plug. It doesn't happen overnight. I guess she did not share your unhappiness with you or you did not think it was that serious until she actually left. So you never got a chance to at least try to fix what was broken.
Lastly, since you and I have shared our relationship details with each other - I think both of us have a broken picker. There are single, drama free people out there. We just don't pick them, we pick the crazy ones since we are also a little crazy. We are both young in our hearts and most people our age are way less adventurous. Life is more fun with the crazies but it usually comes with BS and drama. It was raining on the weekend here so we were drifting with our cars in an abandoned parking lot and also shot each other with soft bullet machine guns all throughout the house. It was super fun. Most people would not want to partake. The crazies do.
I have been divorced now for 30 years, and while I remember both the good and the bad, and while I would never want to go back there, I do realize that I was the one who screwed things up, and that enables me to put my 30-years-of-exile into perspective.
For me it was simply that ( a ) I would rather be alone than with the wrong woman and ( b ) the right woman has not appeared, and there likely is no right woman for me. And I am okay with that.
There have been some serious relationships along the way, but none were sustainable. Each had its lessons and each provided growth. But those days/opportunities have passed. And yet there is happiness and contentment.
I think your marriage ended abruptly and you never got closure, so maybe that's why it is harder for you to get over it. All I can say is that women don't usually wake up in the morning and decide to get divorced all of a sudden. We are often times unhappy for a long time until we pull the plug. It doesn't happen overnight. I guess she did not share your unhappiness with you or you did not think it was that serious until she actually left. So you never got a chance to at least try to fix what was broken.
I agree with this--what I've seen and experienced in a lot of relationships is that a woman trying to save a relationship will fight for it. When she stops fighting and trying to express herself, she's on her way out. Many men see this as, "oh, the drama's stopped, everything is fine" but it's definitely not fine. Then they feel blindsided when she packs up and leaves.
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