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It sounds to me as if your current relationship is not completely satisfactory. Your comment that your marriage was drama free, for example. Obviously something went wrong because you ended up divorced, but it doesn't sound like your current partner is right for you. If you were with the right person you wouldn't miss your old relationship.
I was married 21 yrs and she can rot in hell. I going on 14 yrs divorced, currently in a long term relationship (7 yrs) We would be married but kids/house size keeps us separated
I have been divorced headed on 15 years. I am in a long term relationship, but it doesn't compare to my married life. I often find myself sad after all these years at times and wish I was still in my old relationship. I miss the ex but would never trust her or want a relationship with her, but I miss what we had.
Any other guys here feel the same after 10+ years divorced? Usually some BS or Drama from the current GF triggers these feelings. My old life was drama free. I can't be the only one that feels this way.
So you can't trust her and wouldn't want a relationship with her, but you miss what you had? There was no drama?
I agree with this--what I've seen and experienced in a lot of relationships is that a woman trying to save a relationship will fight for it. When she stops fighting and trying to express herself, she's on her way out. Many men see this as, "oh, the drama's stopped, everything is fine" but it's definitely not fine. Then they feel blindsided when she packs up and leaves.
This brings up something I never have understood. I was married once, for 28 years. From age 18 to 46 I stayed in a loveless, hopeless marriage. My husband was very cruel to me every day of my life. I was so codependent with him that I allowed this for years. However, toward the end, I grieved while I was still married. I did all my crying and venting very discretely. When I made up my mind, I did what I had been fantasizing about for YEARS and I asked him to either take over he note on the house and stay there, or please move out as soon as possible.
He moved and we divided everything amicably and that was that. I see him quite a lot at my kid's homes, we get along great, a lot better than when we were married.
My question was, why was he so hurt when I wanted a divorce? Why did he beg and beg and tell me how much he loved me and wanted me and he was just pitiful, it really was bad. I never looked back, I never cried the first tear once I split from him. It's been almost 20 years now and I thank God every time I see him that I'm not dealing with him anymore. Sometimes we grieve before we leave was the point I was making. Sorry I ran around Laura's house LOL. Yeah, I would say he was blindsided for sure.
I have been divorced headed on 15 years. I am in a long term relationship, but it doesn't compare to my married life. I often find myself sad after all these years at times and wish I was still in my old relationship. I miss the ex but would never trust her or want a relationship with her, but I miss what we had.
Any other guys here feel the same after 10+ years divorced? Usually some BS or Drama from the current GF triggers these feelings. My old life was drama free. I can't be the only one that feels this way.
I don't know your age now, but 15+ years ago you were younger, had more energy, and probably did a lot of cooler things. So is what you missing your ex or that moment of time when you were younger and fresher and still exploring the world? Think about it.
I have been divorced headed on 15 years. I am in a long term relationship, but it doesn't compare to my married life. I often find myself sad after all these years at times and wish I was still in my old relationship. I miss the ex but would never trust her or want a relationship with her, but I miss what we had.
Any other guys here feel the same after 10+ years divorced? Usually some BS or Drama from the current GF triggers these feelings. My old life was drama free. I can't be the only one that feels this way.
Ninee years for me and I feel the same way. I cannot move on. No desire to date anyone again.
As you get older it becomes more and more difficult to find a suitable partner. Starting a blended family is much more complicated than being both single. Also, when you get old and get used to being alone, you get uncomfortable with another person and you don't fit well together.
Wait, how is your old life so great if you got divorced from it..?
That was my observation. Low monthly payments of drama, but with a balloon payment of it at the end.
Marriage is already a bit nonsensical as it is with no fault divorce. The "hot, poor one" can secure the finance but the rich one cannot secure their side. Women more and more have financial supremacy. We don't see them marrying pool boys , and when they do, they have the same problem. Some wealthy celebs do pay out manimony.
Secondly, marriage had nothing to do with love . It was financial planning for the offspring.
This brings up something I never have understood. I was married once, for 28 years. From age 18 to 46 I stayed in a loveless, hopeless marriage. My husband was very cruel to me every day of my life. I was so codependent with him that I allowed this for years. However, toward the end, I grieved while I was still married. I did all my crying and venting very discretely. When I made up my mind, I did what I had been fantasizing about for YEARS and I asked him to either take over he note on the house and stay there, or please move out as soon as possible.
He moved and we divided everything amicably and that was that. I see him quite a lot at my kid's homes, we get along great, a lot better than when we were married.
My question was, why was he so hurt when I wanted a divorce? Why did he beg and beg and tell me how much he loved me and wanted me and he was just pitiful, it really was bad. I never looked back, I never cried the first tear once I split from him. It's been almost 20 years now and I thank God every time I see him that I'm not dealing with him anymore. Sometimes we grieve before we leave was the point I was making. Sorry I ran around Laura's house LOL. Yeah, I would say he was blindsided for sure.
I think this happens a lot. That's how my marriage ended as well. At the time we split, I was already over him, because I was unhappy for years. He was also completely in shock and blindsided. It's been 12 years and he still is.
And I thought "How is that possible??? Did he really think, we are going on like this forever?" We went to marriage counseling, I started many fights, I complained, I begged, I nagged, I threatened, ..... and he is surprised I left???
I think some men either did not have a father figure at all when they grew up or grew up with loveless parents and they just think, that's how every day life is in a marriage. And they get comfortable with that situation. They do their own thing, maybe pull back emotionally, watch more tv/other hobbies/work more/drink more and ignore that there is a problem.
But no woman in a healthy relationship just gets up and leaves because she is suddenly unhappy.
Yes, maybe there was no drama with your ex wife, but did you still do fun stuff together, laugh together, regular intimacy, cuddle, massage each other, surprise each other, text each other nice stuff, random kisses and hugs .... I bet there wasn't.
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