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process of selling our house and three weeks away from closing. Today we get a ridiculous demand from our buyers for $15,000 in upgrades.
I work from home, so in the midst of calls with the VP I am dealing with my two kids (out of school already), the lawyers, contractors, insurance, the realtor, handymen and exterminator.
DH just calls and says he is staying late with a coworker and grab a bite to eat and catch up (they are working together all week). Right now I am furious....or am I overreacting?
It could be either.. you could be overreacting.. and maybe you arent.. that depends on wether your husband was made aware of the matters at hand.. it also depends on wether he is just having dinner just to have dinner.. and what exactly could he do to make a difference on that demand for 15k in upgrades.. is it something he is going to have to do physically himself?? Or is it something that needs to be handled and could be handled with a phone call?
Was there something he should have come home and done?
Did you tell him you needed some help (even if just moral support) and ask him if he could postpone the dinner out ?
He is having dinner just to have dinner. He can't make any difference on the upgrades, he could just be here for moral support. The phone calls are being made by me, because frankly he dropped the ball. I feel (and he knows this) that I am doing EVERYTHING for the move and he is doing nothing. If I ask him to do something he either does it half way or not at all. I am at the end of my rope.
For once I just want him to 'get' what I am going through and come home early and say "Just take the night off, relax".
Having a spouse who often works late and used to call at 5:30 to say he needed to stay late (leaving me, a SAHM, with a 1 year old and a 3 year old and desperately needing just 20 minutes away from them,) I don't blame you for being mad. Like I needed help then, you need help now. You have my sympathy, not that my sympathy will help your situation any, but I sure understand your anger and frustration!!!
BTW, our solution to this situation is that he no longer springs the "I need to stay late" thing at the last minute. He asks me on Sunday if there are any days during the week that would be better for me if he does stay late. At least I get a say in what night I'm on my own, and the kids are 3 and 5, so I'm not so crazy anymore. I tend to schedule it on those nights when there are TV shows he hates (that I like.)
He is having dinner just to have dinner. He can't make any difference on the upgrades, he could just be here for moral support. The phone calls are being made by me, because frankly he dropped the ball. I feel (and he knows this) that I am doing EVERYTHING for the move and he is doing nothing. If I ask him to do something he either does it half way or not at all. I am at the end of my rope.
For once I just want him to 'get' what I am going through and come home early and say "Just take the night off, relax".
Hate to tell you that and it'll just pour more oil into the fire, but if it's always been this way, it will never change.
When I got married my husband said:
"Just don't interfere with my deer hunting season and I don't 'get' hints. You want something....ask for it!"
The first one was easy but it took me many years to get that last one through my head.
I am sure he would have come home if I had asked. I just don't want to have to!
As others said, this strategy doesn't seem to work for anybody. You expect sensitivity and thoughtfulness. Alas, the majority of these species do not possess them. You've got about 3 options:
- keep stewing and have a blown-out-of-proportion fight
- try to calm down and ignore the problem
- ask him directly to come home
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