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Divorce him and let him have the kids. Believe me, they will still be treating you this way in 50 years, and you will be left a poor relative while their grandkids get the inheritance and he gets control. Once he realizes you mean business you might actually get to see them on your own terms.
Can you get an emergency custody determination from a judge???? I would be checking into that NOW. From what I understand, when you are married, there is no "custody" law... either parent can take the kids anywhere. Once there is a separation (which I would call this for this purpose) you can get some sort of emergency order so that you can legally demand access to your children.
This is what I would be doing first if it is legally possible.
I was in a similar situation with my ex-inlaws... but not nearly to that extreme. I have been there with the money issues and control (they, too, "bought us" a house that THEY picked in the neighborhood THEY wanted)... and controlled my ex, in fact they still control him with $$$, all the while telling him I was trash. I sympathize. And no, he would never stand up for me either.