What's the difference between men and women (wife, movies, girlfriend)
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Okay... I'm donning the armor, I'm padding the room. I know what I'm probably going to get in response to this. But if just ONE person actually understands what I'm saying, then it's worth it. Poison works best in small doses...er.. I mean.. we can change the world one person at a time.
Disclaimers: 1. There is no scientific study to back up what I'm saying. 2. What I'm saying doesn't apply to every living person of that particular sex. 3. There are exceptions to what I'm saying. 4. Yes, you are probably that exception. 5. Yes,we're better than animals.
This all said, I'm going to try to say what I explained to my wife the other day. You don't have to like it.. you don't have to agree.. but for the most part (see disclaimers above), I think you will see it's accurate.
The primary difference between men and women is the way they are wired. Men are physical beings. Women are emotional beings. And we need to start accepting and understanding that. Does it mean we can't change? No... but all animals don't change their behaviors overnight (see disclaimer 5 above). If you keep the fact that men are physical and women are emotional throughout my diatribe, you'll grasp what I'm saying better.
Men (being physical beings) will normally cheat on women with younger women? Why? Because younger women generally have better bodies overall, and more energy. Why is this important? Because men are physical beings. Is this an excuse? No. Is it condoning it, of course not. But if you understand that, it will answer the question "Why did he cheat on me with that young tramp?" Is it encoding in our DNA? I would love to say yes, but Disclaimer 1 prevails. It makes sense though. We are attracted to physically attractive women because it's part of our make-up. There was a test done in South America where a tribe (with no access to media of any sort) was approached with a board and different body types. Asked to pick out which women they wanted to be with more, most men picked out the (roughly) 36-24-36 women. Not because of magazines or movies or TVs, but because they said the breast were best for feeding babies, and the hips would facilitate many children. So, I make the unfounded leap that there must be something that drives us that way. So, everytime you ask if we prefer beauty over brains... regardless of what we say... it's beauty. Now.. I know that each woman's current husband out there is the exception to the rule.. and that their ex-husbands epitomized that. But there you have it.
Why do you women cry when mad, or frustrated, or other strong emotion? I believe it's because you're wired that way. Hillary Clinton was ridiculed a few months back because she teared up at something. Why? Cause guy politicians don't? I think women can no more hold back tears than we can stop appreciating beauty. We have things in our bodies that help keep those balanced (estrogen and testosterone). We can no more control the testosterone than women can control the estrogen. I have found, through no scientific study, but through word of mouth and personal experience that when women cheat, it's normally with someone they more closely share and emotional bond with. The guy may or may not be physically more attractive than their steady mate, but the person they cheat with fills the emotional need that their steady mate does not. Of course, most women say that the steady mate is a pig and that the cheating is most likely justified if he's not giving the emotional support and connection she needs. Oh... and the man who cheats to get his physical need fulfilled is also a pig.
If you can understand that men are physical and women are emotional, many more things fall into perspective. Will there be those that go beyond their basic instincts? Sure (see Disclaimer 5). But there are times, mostly unconscious times, that people resort to what we've been doing for tens of thousands of years.
Before you blast me.. remember.. I said you don't have to agree with it. But it could make more sense. It has made it easier for me to understand women over time.. and for the women who see what I'm saying (in layman's terms), easier to deal with the problems of men they have had in the past.
No blast - kudos! You've outlined it simply and, I think, accurately. Of course there are all those exceptions - there always will be - and your description of cheating is spot-on.
Before you blast me.. remember.. I said you don't have to agree with it. But it could make more sense. It has made it easier for me to understand women over time.. and for the women who see what I'm saying (in layman's terms), easier to deal with the problems of men they have had in the past.
Okay... NOW you can blast me!
No reason to blast you. Whether we like it or not, it is true. I'm even pretty sure a study can be found to prove your every point. I posted once a very long and boring one. Most probably didn't look at it for this reason, but it was actually answering every question ever asked here who prefers what and why.
It's interesting about being "wired" a certain way. I have certainly heard that from men (including my husband) who said they are just "genetically wired that way." I also have both a son and a daughter. My son is almost 10, and my daughter is almost 4 years old. My son is automatically drawn to things that he can create, break, fix, manipulate, do scientific experiments with or on, rough housing, etc. My daughter is automatically drawn to things like drawing, painting, playing with her dolls, stuffed animals, playing "house", etc.
Another interesting observation is watching them play with their friends. All the girls take turns, they like to share, they like to do things "together" (hence this is why women go to the lady's room together!) But with my son, it's ALL rough and tumble. There is no sharing, their is no "boy" talk, and everyone is very competitive with one another.
I'm not sure, but my understanding on it is that the difference is that men have this...you know...thing, but women don't. What's it called again? Sometimes it grows...but sometimes it's too small...oh, gosh... (thinking hard) Oh yeah! A salary.
This isn't an excuse for poor behavior though. Genetic predispositions can be changed by using a little effort....I would still be scum if I cheated on my girlfriend. This revelation isn't an excuse.
So the reason we're cheated on is our bodies are no longer good enough. Gee thanks, that's what we get for years of standing by your side? No wonder the divorce rate is 50%. It should be more.
So the reason we're cheated on is our bodies are no longer good enough. Gee thanks, that's what we get for years of standing by your side? No wonder the divorce rate is 50%. It should be more.
You know, I'll tell you something, and I'm not cynical, angry or anything else...I love my husband, and I love my family, but if my husband were to eventually leave me for another woman, I would have my own life and be myself and in some ways I think I'd really enjoy it.
I know that sounds horrible...and as I said, I do love my husband. But if he left me "for being old," or for any other reason, I would, for the first time in my life, kick up my heels and literally do what I wanted. I would enjoy every minute of deciding things based on what I wanted...not what someone else wanted.
Maybe nature makes men look toward young women who have the time and energy to pick up someone else's socks and to, like, you know, like, TOtally feel stuff like ya know romantic...in order to provide us 40-and-over woman with an eventual escape and relief-from-duty route.
I know being left hurts...but there are FAR worse things than being left. And though we may rail against nature and the "I want a young girl" bit, we can also look at it a different way...many, many women actually feel grateful later on that they wound up divorced and are leading their carefree lives, while their 45-year-old husbands are huffing and puffing trying to keep up with a 19-year-old who wants them to buy them, like, you know, stuff like, all the time and take them out five nights a week (after him having worked all day and not being a spry sprite himself any more) and who cry "You don't love me! Waaaaaaaaaaaaah" when their middle-aged units just can't keep up with 19-year-old energy.
So try not to worry too hard about being older than 25 (gasp) and being left. Let's hope it doesn't happen, but if it does, seriously, it could...not definitely will, but could...wind up being the best thing. If a husband wants a young chippie, there's nothing a 40-or-older wife can do about that anyway...he's going to want it. Let him! And if he does...come over to my house. We will go out and just tear the town up and I'll have a smile on your face, I promise! We'll do the dumbest cr*p ever and laugh like maniacs and trust me. You won't be sad for long!
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