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At first you say he's a "coworker of your husband" then you go on to say he is "your husband's friend" which is it? Anyway, I agree with everyone else here to just forget about it. None of your business so just forget that she said anything to you.
Usually, this winds up as a case of 'don't shoot the messenger' which would make me want to UNINVOLVE myself ASAP.
But something about the f'up'dness of an extra-marital affair---well, all bets are off, in my opinion. She told you so she shouldn't be expecting to get away with it.
If you ARE ABSOLUTELY sure you heard her correctly and you HAVE NOT ONE DOUBT in your mind that she told you the truth (and I have no way of telling you how to verify it but you should verify it), then I think you owe the husband the information.
I once tried to help my long time friend -- we go back all the way to the 1980's when I was in my teens -- by strongly advising her NOT to get back at her husband by having an affair with an ex since that's what he did. She did it anyway and said she told him she was coming to visit me, against my better judgment and advice. I called her at her exes after her husband started leaving messages on my phone and even drove an hour and a half to ring my bell (which I of course didn't answer) looking for her. I begged her not to spend another night at the ex's house and just get to my house so she could try to salvage the marriage and not let her H know about the night at the ex's. Well the ex ends up telling her H about the affair, but I just kept acting like I didn't know about it, ya know not dropping a dime on her for the life of me. A few days later her H even called me again to talk about everything, I was very sympathetic and nice to him but never admitted knowing for sure that my friend cheated. I just didn't want to get involved or tell on her since she's my friend, not him. Well that night they both call me and accuse me of badmouthing her and that they never want me to call their house again. Okie dokie then! These people were obviously too looney for me anyway; I guess she just turned on me cuz he probably threatened to kick her out if she didn't drop me. He was irate at me that I wouldn't drop a dime on my friend and stay out of it. Totally bizarre. Point is that you never know how things are going to go when you get involved (even unwittingly, like me). Good luck and keep us posted .
To clear the air... (Thank you for all of your speedy replies)
When she told me about the "Other man" I was totally sober. I went outside due to being hot from dancing.
If I stayed sober I would of never told my husband, only due to what postion he would be put in........ Had he brought it up to me, with me knowing already.. I of course would of told him what the wife told me.
I do know for a fact that their marriage has been very rocky over the past 2 years. I know that both have cheated on each other, and both know all about the past cheating and have been in counciling about it all.
With all of this being said.....
I have tried to see this as my husband sees it, just as my husband is trying to see where I see it (I am more on the side of dont tell, he is on the side of DO tell his friend).
If your loved one cheated on you.. and you didnt have a clue.. wouldnt you want to know?
I sure as hell wouldnt want to be the one that tells me tbh.
On another note...
I just do not understand why would she tell me? I have never been close to her, I do not like her as a person.. and I really do not like her after hearing what she has done.
According to the wife, the affair is over so there is not a dire need to tell her husband. This is a precarious situation and you do not need to insert yourselves into their relationship.
If your loved one cheated on you.. and you didnt have a clue.. wouldnt you want to know?
Nope. Ignorance can be blissful...
Quote:
On another note...
I just do not understand why would she tell me? I have never been close to her, I do not like her as a person.. and I really do not like her after hearing what she has done.
They say confession is good for the soul...maybe it just got to be too much for her and she needed someone to confess to, even though she seems to be uniformly hated by all. You were the closest warm body that didn't run away from her.
Now we see that they've both cheated and her H isn't all innocent. Since yall are not friends and she told you, it almost makes it seem like she wants someone else to tell her H so their marriage can be over (seeing as she's all into another man not her H). But since the husband is not your H's best friend or relative and, most importantly, you clarified that they're BOTH cheats, I would totally and without a doubt stay out of it.
If she told you, which I agree doesn't make sense, then maybe she has told others. I would keep quiet and let them find out another way. It will put you two in the middle. It might blow up, they get back together and then they would hate you both...hold your tongue!
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(Thank you for all of your speedy replies)
