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You know, at first, because you said he was a friend of your husband's and you guys think he is a real nice guy, I was going to say just let your husband handle it the way he thinks best. If that is to tell, then tell. If it is not to tell, then don't tell.
But after reading further and hearing how they both have cheated on each other, whether it be a year ago or 6 months ago or whatever, I'd say leave it be. Who knows if he is cheating on her now again too, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. I'd stay clear of this one.
Bottom line is your husband or you can tell this man and he may not care at all because heck he's cheating again as well and there is just no love, honesty, respect, or relationship there to begin with. Or, he may get very upset about it and dump her being that he believed they were in counseling to resolve their issues. But the other possibility is that she will deny telling you that, accuse you of making up false accusations about her because you "don't like her" and he can side with his wife against you and your husband. This therefore making you both out to be the bad guys trying to wreck their marriage when they are "trying to fix it" and making her a victim to your homewrecking antics in all this.
It's just not worth getting involved in this situation I think because it seems to be a tangled web they weave in that marriage. I'd steer clear of this situation if at all possible. It totally stinks that you were put in the position to hear such "confession" and that in turn your husband in is now in that position as well, however, I don't see a positive solution to this other than just let it be. For all you know, he already knows that she cheated and either doesn't care or won't do anything about it.
Location: from houstoner to bostoner to new yorker to new jerseyite ;)
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I'd say not to tell because 1) the info is thirdhand; it's not like you were involved or have any proof other than what the drunken slob of a woman told you and 2) her husband is your husband's co-worker. Are they really "friends" or just "work buddies"? There's a difference. If they are actually good friends and have known each other a while, then maybe he should tell the guy and be prepared to suffer the consequences, whatever they may be. If they're just work buddies, I wouldn't risk getting involved in the mess their relationship already appears to be.
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