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what difference does it make what phase you are in as long as it is a satisfying relationship for you? Doesn't matter what it's called, doesn't matter what other people are doing in their relationship, all that matters is you're happy and feel good about yourself, each other and the relationship!
Count your blessings, enjoy life, and best wishes!
what difference does it make what phase you are in as long as it is a satisfying relationship for you? Doesn't matter what it's called, doesn't matter what other people are doing in their relationship, all that matters is you're happy and feel good about yourself, each other and the relationship!
Count your blessings, enjoy life, and best wishes!
Let me try and be clear; it's not as if the responses to this thread would change my behavior in this relationship.. it's just that I like to know about these things. They psychology and reasons behind human emotions.
For example, I had previously understood the crush phase, the infatuation phase, to last about six months to a year. This was good for me because when it started to fade I didn't bolt, like I always did in the past, because I knew and understood beforehand that it was normal for it to wane some. Years ago, however, I had no understanding of all this and when the infatuation feelings faded I was out the door, looking for the next "rush". I have left a trail of exes a few hundred miles long for this reason... before I grew up and understood things better anyway.
So that's all I'm saying, and I posted because I am surprised at how long these wonderful feelings have lasted and thought it curious and a little odd yet of course awesome... so I just wondered what others had experienced. It's a first for me is all.
It's not so odd. Depends on the person, and their partner. Some couples leave that passionate phase, and while still loving one another, being all over one another has passed. And some can be married for years, and they're still hot and heavy for one another.
I have an infatuation that's lasted 2 years, and doesn't seem to be ending any time soon. A guy from a series I read, and show I watch. But he's not the 1st, and won't be the last. I have felt this for others, but I got over them. My longest infatuation was 3 years. But my infatuations last a while. My crushes don't, and aren't as extensive-that's why it's only a crush. Infatuation can be a curse if you never get the person though, and you just admire from distance.
Infatuation takes it further to a more lusting, and obsessive point, which is why some confuse it for love because they feel if they weren't loving, then the feelings would be so strong. But lust and attraction has a very strong hold, and they love the feeling of "in love." So when it dies down some, they think there's no love. There could have been, but they didn't give it a chance.
"In love" doesn't really mean what people think it does. What it really means is "In lust" because it's that feeling people get in the beginning stages of a relationship also known as the "honeymoon period" where you're all hot and bothered for each other, have sex all the time, etc...
People are so caught up in that "in love" feeling that as soon as it dies down they think they aren't in love with that person anymore.
You can love someone, and still be hot and bothered, but love takes time and patience to grow, and when it does grow, a relationship requires alot of work and effort. It's not easy.
I never experienced love, or a relationship. But I have had quite a few crushes, and even more infatuations, so I can spot those. I am a member of a Q&A site, and many always ask "Am I in love" or "Is it love" questions. And usually, it's not--infatuation and/in the honeymoon phase.
Last edited by HappyRain; 05-14-2014 at 04:44 AM..
When I was younger, my crushes lasted at least several months. I think the shortest lasted three months, though I had feelings for the person before that as well. There was one guy I consistently liked for a few years. But I didn't live under any delusion that I loved him or anything. There were always those feelings there, until one day they weren't there anymore.
I don't see why it's not possible for a crush or infatuation to last a while. It helps if you don't know the person very well, I guess
Another poster said something along those lines in another thread. Not wanting to hijack, I started this thread to ask about it.
I've never heard of this. I always heard, and assumed, that the "infatuation" stage of a relationship lasted less than a year.
What happens after the two to five years?? I really want to know. I have been with my partner 5 years, and we were friends for about 4 months prior to that, and the "heavy crush" crazy infatuation period seemed to be about 18 months long. After that we began to see each other without the rose colored glasses, but here's the thing: I have noticed that about once a year, for a few weeks when we get some time alone in summer (my kids go visiting), we go through the "crush" period ALL OVER AGAIN. Is that normal? Or does that somehow mean we are still in the "initial crush period" or something?
I'm sorry if my question is kind of silly, it's just that in all my 37 years on this earth I've never had anything that lasted this long AND felt this good AND was this healthy and happy. Yes, I was married before, but that honeymoon was over BEFORE the wedding. Prior to that I had a long string of short term relationships that I got bored with very quickly. So this is new to me.
The title is different from the OP. What I meant was, from the title itself my answer is... 3 decades! LOL. And from a boy that never reciprocated it. I don't know if he knew it even. But my cousins, neighbors, classmates sure as hell knew!
The crush was not as intense as when we were both 10 yrs old when I saw him and the one and only time I felt my heart like literally went out of my chest and ran over to the boy. That intense that I can never EVER forget.
Now I am married though, it's just blah. But if I did had a kid, which I doubt I will, ever, I will still name my child the same - a mash up of my name and that boy. For sure.
My answer based on post above, never. LOL, I was never infatuated nor had a crush on my husband even when we were dating. I do love him though, genuinely. Even passionately, sometimes.
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Prior to that I had a long string of short term relationships that I got bored with very quickly. So this is new to me.
