How long does it take to get over somebody special? (married, woman)
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I took me less than a month to get over a 3+ year relationship.
It all ended when my buddies said, "we're taking you to vegas."
Since then Ive lived by the motto of:
We are all tiny spectacles on this earth inhabited by billions of people. Our problems are miniscule compared to others, and there are bigger things in this universe to be worried about. Move on. There are millions of other women on earth.
I took me less than a month to get over a 3+ year relationship.
It all ended when my buddies said, "we're taking you to vegas."
Since then Ive lived by the motto of:
We are all tiny spectacles on this earth inhabited by billions of people. Our problems are miniscule compared to others, and there are bigger things in this universe to be worried about. Move on. There are millions of other women on earth.
Lol.. I am a woman.
It's funny because I haven't gone through heartache like this in over ten years. Before The Jerk came along, I would silently judge some of my friends that were going through heart ache thinking "Just accept that it's over and move on!" But now that I'm going through it, I realize that moving on is a lot easier said than done. When I first started trying to get over him after he told me he didn't have feelings for me anymore, I tried to rush the healing process and it made it so much worse.
I agree that there are bigger things in the universe to be worried about, but unfortunately, I'm human and I can't control that I'm in pain over this situation. Trust me, I am definitely not choosing to feel this way.
I was engaged to a total jerk while I was in college... I finally woke up and realized we would only end up getting divorced and it would be horrible... but I still loved him. I was young, started to date again- out of a need to go out and get my mind off of HIM.. and I realized there were so many better guys out there and I was having a good time looking. Not that I jumped into a relationship- but I dated- went to dinners had great conversations and made some good friends out of it.... 8 months after I called off my wedding I was ready to really be serious again, placed an ad on the internet- met some really odd people - and JUST when I was about to pull the ad one came along that was too good to be true... just had to meet this guy...5 weeks later we were engaged... Going on our 7th year of marriage and we have two great kids.... so it all depends and it will happen... you gotta help yourself out of it though... go out, have fun, keep an open mind... the wound will soon heal...
Sometimes you just have to move on and it time you may get over it. I'm about to get married and just realized that I may still have feelings for my first love (18 years ago).
Sometimes you just have to move on and it time you may get over it. I'm about to get married and just realized that I may still have feelings for my first love (18 years ago).
yanno, there are always some people that we stay in love with...I'm still in love with my first love...and marriage...but, we were so different, had way to many different ideas about life, politics, religion, friends. I loved him like a brother and we were very good friends until he met his 2nd wife. She was very intimidated by our friendship, and I can understand that...he wasn't very open at all when it came to religion...and that to me was the most difficult. I have a lot of faith, but cannot stand, organized religions.
anyway
the jest of this post is to say...there was a time when we were going to reconcile...and I can tell you true, there are many reasons I'm glad I didn't, but there are reasons why I wish we had. He is a good man.
Your first love, you will never forget...they will be with you forever, as well as the father or mother of your children...there is an everlasting bond...no matter what happened between us...I still love this man...he will always remain special in my heart...but, if I found a man, who was decent and kind...I really do think, I would consider a relationship with him...I've grown since my first love...and chances our, those problems between us still exist...you can't go back...but you can move ahead...so I've let it go a long long time ago...and really do wish him well...he and I were not what each other needed....we tend to fantisise about what we can't have...and we want it even more b/c we can't have it...it's human nature...therefore, consider yourself fortunate that you've known love, and if I may suggest, since you've known a love like that...you will now be able to love this new person in a better way, a more mature and nurturing way, which will complement the both of you. Does that make sense?
My best wishes to you...I hope I have helped some...
For me it would depend on how things ended. If the relationship ended because he chose another woman over me, there would be no looking back or looking at him with rose colored glasses anymore. Just knowing that he preferred someone over me as his girlfriend would definitely kill any feelings and be a total turn off. But for me, every ex has begged to come back after treating me crappy. By then I've found the next guy and moved on. There is one guy who's been waiting 3 years for me to come back to him and he's changed and apologized for his behavior and realizes he wants me, despite my being with someone else. Actually we have so much chemistry (I would say he's the love of my life) so who knows about the future..
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