I'm married; an attractive lady wants to "do lunch", should I? (how to, man)
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My impression is that this is exactly how middle aged men in mide life crisis end up cheating on their wives with another person, and then end up pathetic and alone.
Chat during class or in public with other people. Your wife maybe. But to start private lunches with someone you clearly find attractive is just dumb. Sorry.
I agree don't touch this with a ten foot pole! You will wind up regreting anything that may happen if anythig does. I wouldn't take that chance. If you went on a lunch with a group of people and included your wife it would be different but alone? If your wife found out it would be very ugly!
I don't really know what your talking about. Who is saying that the wife should tell him what to do? He should KNOW what to do. This has nothing at all to do with a parent-child relationship and everything to do with an adult respectful relationship.
Plus it's not the fact that the woman happens to be attractive. It's that the man FINDS the woman attractive and is ALREADY thinking sexually about her before they have evan had a lunch.
Why can't they all go out as friends - or invite other people from class? It's this one on one nonsense when he is clearly thinking about anything EXCEPT class when he sees this woman.
Yuck!
Do you know why the OP finds that woman attractive and is already thinking sexually about that woman? Because:
1. he's a man (oh my goodness! We didn't even think that any man can find another woman besides his own wife attractive!) AGain, I didn't realize that a MARRIED man is not supposed to find other women attractive, and that a MARRIED man is not supposed to think about other women sexually. Wow, why on Earth would ANY man want to get married then, if getting married would mean taking his eyes out of his sockets and give them to his wife?
2. that woman just happens to be attractive.
Here's why I am positioned the way I am now. I have been in that "attractive" woman's shoes.... where my male co-workers could not even go pick up his lunch w/ me during business lunch hours just because his GF or wife says so. To me, those women that "tell their husbands/ BFs":
NO! You can't go to lunch with that person because she's attractive!" You know what that tells me? That the wife/ GF herself is NOT confident about herself! (do I smell INSECURITY here?) Do you want the other woman to think that way about the wife/ GF?
Wow, I didn't realize that being married means that you can't find other people attractive, let alone not being able to have any attractive friends of the opposite sex that are attractive. Here's my joke to all married people:
"Quick! Hide your pair of eyes before your wife comes out and take them out of your eye sockets!"
It is one thing to find other women or men attractive. Yes, I have friends of the opposite sex but never hang out with them by myself. It would usually include a few other people. If your with them by your self and find them attractive sooner or later you know something is going to happen between you and you will wind up cheating.
ok..im sorry but whats the big deal if she asks him to lunch?!! is can we go out to lunch=let's have sex?? im really confuzzled. in the guy's very first post he himself said the reason why the lady ask her to lunch.. the idea he has.. so unless the idea he has = lets have sex.... then i honestly dont know why you crazy people with over active imagination and lust overdrive is OVER REACTING including the OP... goodness. thats why this scene :
It is one thing to find other women or men attractive. Yes, I have friends of the opposite sex but never hang out with them by myself. It would usually include a few other people. If your with them by your self and find them attractive sooner or later you know something is going to happen between you and you will wind up cheating.
So are you saying you dont trust yourself ? thats how you made it sound
It is one thing to find other women or men attractive. Yes, I have friends of the opposite sex but never hang out with them by myself. It would usually include a few other people. If your with them by your self and find them attractive sooner or later you know something is going to happen between you and you will wind up cheating.
Well then CINDY, I may say that you yourself are having this issue, and that YOU alone need to fix it. If you canNOT go to lunch with ANYONE that you find attractive, then you may want to ask yourself why YOU can't handle that. You seem not to be able to trust yourself, and if that's the case, then you shouldn't be in ANY relationship, let alone married.
What if your boss and all your male coworkers happen to be candidates of Mr. Universe, and they all want to go to lunch to discuss business issues, and you happen to be the only female working in that department? Would you jeopardize your career and NOT go to lunch w/ all of them because gosh forbid, you cannot go to lunch w/ anyone attractive w/o you wanting to "jump your you know what" on their you know what?
ok..im sorry but whats the big deal if she asks him to lunch?!! is can we go out to lunch=let's have sex?? im really confuzzled. in the guy's very first post he himself said the reason why the lady ask her to lunch.. the idea he has.. so unless the idea he has = lets have sex.... then i honestly dont know why you crazy people with over active imagination and lust overdrive is OVER REACTING including the OP... goodness. thats why this scene :
Just have to say that I LOVE your word 'confuzzled'. Don't think it's real, but going to use it. Thanks.
Oh and to answer your question, it's got nothing to do with the woman who asked. It's the guy who is taking this to an unpleasant place, not her. If he has to ask a forum full of people if it's appropriate, then it probably isn't.
Here's why I am positioned the way I am now. I have been in that "attractive" woman's shoes.... where my male co-workers could not even go pick up his lunch w/ me during business lunch hours just because his GF or wife says so. To me, those women that "tell their husbands/ BFs":
!
Well I've been in those shoes too - also (before I got married) with married men from work who have made a pass at me while we were alone, despite NO encouragement from me at all.
Being on a one on one with a guy who thinks you are hot is just a bad idea.
Sorry, there do have to be SOME downsides to being hot you know!
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AGain, I didn't realize that a MARRIED man is not supposed to find other women attractive, and that a MARRIED man is not supposed to think about other women sexually. Wow, why on Earth would ANY man want to get married then, if getting married would mean taking his eyes out of his sockets and give them to his wife?
