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A friend from work is about forty (40) years old and has never had a date. She is a pleasant person to visit with in the office but due to many issues she is not really the type of person who could attract a man. She is really not that personable beyond work small talk and has been alone for so long that it seems unlikely that she would handle a relationship very well.
She told me that she is to fat and ugly to get a man. She may be right on one part, she is really fat. Maybe 350 pounds and when God gave out the gift of physical beauty, she was not rewarded. She is not ugly but very plain looking.
Should some women just give up and not expect a romantic relationship due to personal and physical limitations?
When she says something like that I would say, if you're not happy with who you are then make some changes. Men are not attracted to unhappy women. They like confidence.
Many men (and women) are attracted to beauty - yes. But many times we get into relationships with beautiful people only to get burned. I think around your friend's age, we start to realize that beauty is from within.
Does your friend send off signals that say "I'm too fat" or "Leave me alone"? Or does she open up to new friendships, get into the middle of events or get togethers, and be an intregal part of her friends' lives? If she closes off like a hibernating bear, that's exactly how people will treat her.
With happiness (and confidence, like the previous poster stated), the will to change, lose weight, or be in love comes naturally. And no - everyone deserves happiness, whether they are born with one eye in the middle of their head or whether the lose both legs in a car accident. Fundamentally, it still doesn't change who they are.
She needs to find a fat ugly man. There are loads out there!
Exactly. I've seen plenty of women with looks that only a mother can love having happy marriages and lives. They must have realistic expectations - their partners are also quite plain-looking, even though I've also seen them with some surprisingly decent-looking guys as well.
As I've said many times before, it can a blessing in disguise. At least you know you're loved for yourself and not because somebody was infatuated with you for a short period of time and then everything fizzles after discovering you actually can't deal with each other's personalities and habits.
i think the truth is, it's not her weight or plain-ness that is the problem. we have seen many overweight and or plain people in relationships.
you can have a 500 lb person who is the life of the party and they just attract people to themselves.
you can have a 100 lb person who is just so glum looking that no one wants to go near them.
it's all in the attitude and personality
Her looks are only part of it. She has no friends outside of work and has never been in a relationship. I suspect few people over 40 who have never been in a relationship and feel so angry about themselves would make good romantic partners after being alone and isolated for so many years. Don't you think?
Refugee you may have a point.
She may have some issues from being alone so long..
On the other hand she may not have as much baggage as someone with 2-3 Divorces
Under their belt.350 pounds is very overweight,not attractive to most and Unhealthy.Could she afford to Lap or Surgical procedure?
It make take too much time and would be very hard to lose that amount of weight.
People can jump on me if they like but she would be healthier and feel alot better..
About herself.Im only about 40 pounds overweight and it affects my confidence.
Bottom line she should lose SOME weight,buy new clothes,slowly start doing more Social things.
Refugee you may have a point.
She may have some issues from being alone so long..
On the other hand she may not have as much baggage as someone with 2-3 Divorces
Under their belt.350 pounds is very overweight,not attractive to most and Unhealthy.
You have a point! If you place baggage on the other side of the scale, it might very well weigh more than 350 lb.
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