My girl friend hates romance she thinks its corny (dating, how to, married)
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Hello I need some help or advice I have been dating this very nice woman for about eight months now but every time I say something romantic or caring she tells me I am being corny and to stop. Sex is not bad and in fact its good. I need help communicating with her or even how to act when I am with her, she doesn't holding hands cuddling or even kissing that much unless shes had a few drinks then she tells me she cares for me or that she likes me or even tolerates romantic words. Help me I am going crazy.
Maybe she is just using you for sex. I'm so so sorry. I feel pity for you because you probably want a woman you can cuddle and kiss with. Is she cold in other areas of your relationship?
She could have an "issue" receiving care and kindness. That can be a major problem in a relationship.
Wine and dine her butt.....be as romantic as you want!
If she tells you it sounds "corny" then tell her it hurts your feelings when she says that. I mean, what does she want? Wham bam, thank ya` maam`?
I think its sweet.
we can spend hours on the phone we even watch tv together while on the phone for hours she works in a bar and has men always asking her out and she has a group of friends thats she hangs out with socially that i am not a part of but when she gets home at some rather late hours she will wake me up via phone call and talk to me about her evening out. The next day she will call again in the morning and several time through out the day but we only see each other 3-4 times a week and 2-3 times we go to eat or have a few drinks and then thats when we are together as a couple she will spend the night 2-3 times a week but other than that it rather cold and distant. I don't dare tell her I miss her or want to see her more because she tells me i am corny she is not into public displays of affection unless she has had a few drinks and then I feel her warmth and tenderness. We are going to Acapulco for five days and i am kind of afraid of overdoing it on the romantic front. help please
I'd just tone it down. She has a bit of a callous personality and doesn't feel that type of affection or warmth for you unless she is drinking. That really isn't a good sign imo, since you want it reciprocated.
When you go to Acapulco try and enjoy all the other things about your vacation instead of over focusing on her.
Tell her that this part bothers you.
Explain to her, that you want to say romantic things to her, because this is how you feel. You sound like an understanding guy....but she sounds rather distant. You need to communicate with her, and if she responds the same way, then maybe the two of you, are not compatible.
I second yankeegirl's suggestion. Try explaining and be assertive; however, being assertive doesn't guarantee you what you want especially if the person is callous and distant.
You might learn that the both of you are not compatible. It sounds to me like she could be using you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313
Tell her that this part bothers you.
Explain to her, that you want to say romantic things to her, because this is how you feel. You sound like an understanding guy....but she sounds rather distant. You need to communicate with her, and if she responds the same way, then maybe the two of you, are not compatible.
It's hard to say. There are number of possibilities:
- cold fish by nature
- emotionally unavailable
- self-hatred (feels undeserving of your affection)
- tries to keep you at arm's length because the relationship is not important to her
- sexually abused as a child
We do get along but I am getting tired of her inability to accept affection, she blames her mother because her mother told her since childhood she never married the man she truly loved and that love was just an illusion. Like today I when she called me her first words were "hey cornball whats up" we laugh all the time and kid around but it would be nice to hear a good morning i was thinking about you. There is an 12 year age difference she is 29 and i am 42 i am just out of touch with more modern women
Dude you are more mature than her mentally and age wise. She is young and probably wants to focus on fun and not be invested in serious emotions.
Emotions could be super serious for her and she isn't ready for that with you yet. So take it slow, give her space, and time. In her eyes you are rushing and pushing things.
Quote:
Originally Posted by soltero1965
We do get along but I am getting tired of her inability to accept affection, she blames her mother because her mother told her since childhood she never married the man she truly loved and that love was just an illusion. Like today I when she called me her first words were "hey cornball whats up" we laugh all the time and kid around but it would be nice to hear a good morning i was thinking about you. There is an 12 year age difference she is 29 and i am 42 i am just out of touch with more modern women
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