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I'm not sure you really understand what it means to be masculine or feminine. It isn't most of the things you've ascribed to it. Macho is not equal to masculine. In fact, macho is often a cover for lack of confidence and excess insecurity.
However, it sounds like you want more of a pal than a firey passionate relationship. That's fine, but people should understand that you need the dynamic masculine/feminine tension and interplay to have the missing fire.
For me, for example, I don't want to have everything in common with my wife. I have friends for that stuff. I do want to have compatible souls with life visions in harmony with one another. And I do want her to be feminine and to relax in my arms, so to speak, and let me hold her. I do want to be confused by her, invigorated by her, and prodded by her in a subtle feminine way in to becoming a better and better man.
I think the kind of relationship you're describing is completely different from the one I am. Not worse, just different. You seem to want a friend first, lover second. But you should realize that your way isn't better. These neutral or feminine men aren't better husbands. I'm a masculine man who treats women with respect. It isn't masculine or feminine to disrespect women, or to be cocky and aggressive. If you think that's a masculine man, then you're... confused...
Also, no straight man likes scrapbooking. Your husband has to be faking it.
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Originally Posted by doglover29
Absolutely. I much prefer the feminine man to the macho man. In fact, I read somewhere once some study that showed that the feminine man makes a better husband and that women prefer them as husbands. I never liked guy's guy types. I had nothing in common with them. I don't like sports, drinking, cars, action movies or video games. I wanted a man who would be content to talk on the phone for hours, share feelings, have deep conversations, write me long emails, go shopping with me, share the housework with me, never screams or yells, is calm and approaches disagreements by rationally talking them out, is non-aggressive and love animals. My hubby has all of these traits; he's a metrosexual. He does have some male interests--he's in a couple of sports leagues and loves action movies (and doesn't like chick flicks).
Hubby loves cats, likes to shop (will shop with me for hours and hold my purse while I try on clothes), likes interior design, is willing to have deep conversations for hours, doesn't mind housework, and is very affectionate and loves to cuddle. The kind of man who would eagerly spend the afternoon scrapbooking and finds it fun! Also, the kind of man who's not afraid to have interests that differ from the typical male norm. I also think the feminine man is more woman-friendly. The feminine man probably wouldn't ogle women when you're out with him in public, make disrespectful comments about women or objectify women. They're usually the "nice" guys who are very respectful of women. That's the kind of guy I like, and that describes my husband perfectly.
I can't relate to the typical macho alpha male types. I'm extremely feminine, and these types of men rub me the wrong way. I can't stand their cockiness, their aggressiveness, their lack of empathy and perceptiveness. They're the kind of guy who sits in a chair with his legs wide apart, leaning back with his hands clasped behind his head, talking at you/over you and not really hearing what you're saying. I prefer the man who sits leaning forward in a chair, with his legs crossed, who speaks with you, and genuinely wants to hear what you have to say.
When I think of a movie that has both types personified I think of the movie "The Break-Up" with Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston. Vince Vaughn's character would be the masculaine male type--not my type at all. Jennifer Aniston's friend's husband (Addie's husband in the movie) would be more of the feminine male (he was the blond guy).
In your own arrogance you cling to your own new age gender stereotype. While you undoubtedly compliment yourself, I'm afraid you don't qualify for your own description.
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Originally Posted by plaidmom
Awesome post. Also, the more intelligent the person, the less they tend to cling to gender "stereotypes".
Simply not true. REALLY polarized people are most attracted to their polar opposite.
From personal experience as a white guy with masculine features around asian women, let me say that Asian women LOVE caucasian men. Not sure where you got your information but it isn't accurate.
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Originally Posted by miyu
In Japan and other eastern Asian countries, feminine men are all the rage! I love me a guy who can look prettier than any girl out there. Smooth flawless skin, nice stylish hair... slender torso and long legs. Pretty hands. Yes, these are all very attractive features in the mind of the waif-like Asian woman, who usually is even softer, more petite, and more frail. This is also why some Asian women won't date Caucasian men. Too much man. A feminine man is the right amount of manliness for some ultra feminine woman.
Unfortunately I'm a mutant so these men make me look like a trannie... They would never want me.
DH is a manly man, which I also appreciate to its fullest extent.
BlackJack22: I call BS on that. You a gender expert or something?
The man you described isn't feminine. What is feminine about him? Healthy communication? That's um.. healthy, not feminine.
I imagine he wouldn't take kindly to his girlfriend thinking him feminine.
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Originally Posted by bigtattas
I don't appreciate people not answering the question at hand. The question is if you would date a "Mr. Rogers?" I most definitely would and am! I love my boyfriend! I have never had such amazing chemistry, healthy communication, amazing sex, and as a plus he is an intelligent sexy man. I love how he tries to understand me and always improve himself, which in turn makes me want to do the same. I think it is unfortunate that most women are socialized/brainwashed to think of men one dimensionally that they miss out. Plus, if you expect men to fit a hyper masculine character then don't be shocked to be expected to look and act in a hyper feminine way. As for my own stats: I am a tall, fit, Ivy league educated, sexy, and very beautiful (reassured everyday). So for all the feminine men out there...their are plenty of women like me that are looking for me like you.
Frankly I'm confused with all the labeling... personality traits are just that... when did we start giving "tags" to likes dislikes??? this is how you start "guilt" when you give labels to things. If a man likes to shop... so what!!... if you have needs... you go shopping. When did creativity become femine.. who are some of the best artists in the world... men.
If a man likes to "cuddle" good for you... could be he is just trying to please you. If a man starts to apply makeup, put my panty hose on, have a monthly PMS episode and using a curling iron... well then femine could apply there LOL... I'm just say'in... ... by the way just my 2 cents
Wow...my, you certainly don't mince words; I'll give you that...talk about strong and direct language! Btw...b/4 you accuse me of being "arrogant", why don't you look in the mirror first, my good fellow?
FWIW, all of the TV cartoon programming that young male children receive is full of violence and ppl shooting guns, wielding dangerous weapons, promoting a war-like, military-style environment, etc. As I have mentioned before on here, TV shows for young males when I was growing up in the 80's were filled with an appalling amount of violence: Transformers, G.I. Joe, etc. It's all propaganda from the military-industrial complex.
If young males aren't artifically "conditioned" for future war efforts by these kinds of violent shows, then perhaps you can explain why do the shows fixate so obsessively on guns, deadly weapons, overt and covert war games, and so forth? Hmm??
Moreover, society artifically hamstrings men from a very early age, even as young boys, from displaying the kinds of "positive emotions", that young girls on the other hand can freely express without stigma. Boys are not encouraged to be touchy-feely, hug or kiss a lot, be overtly affectionate, etc. And that is a grave mistake and a disservice to boys, in MHO. Young boys should be encouraged to be just as loving and affectionate as young girls. What's so wrong with having gentle, soft-hearted, compassionate, caring, and soft-spoken men, anyway? When did these kinds of male qualities become taboo...and why?
The answer: the military *doesn't want* men like this, b/c they are useless as soldiers in military combat.
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Originally Posted by vxt22
This is absolutely ridiculous to me. Do you honestly believe there is no essential difference between masculine and feminine natures. How do you explain the existence of the masculine before the state and all the wars that follow?
I also enjoy the fact that you ignore that just the opposite is possible -- that in fact our society may very well be undervaluing and destroying men's natural masculine cores and influencing them against "intentional social conditioning" via... MORE intentional social conditioning.
I can't believe the arrogance in assuming that this duality is a problem to be fixed only caused by society's social conditioning. It's just like the arrogance involved in extrapolating short term climate trends and then screaming about a crisis so that others will listen to your interest group.
Is it your honest belief that absent society, that is without any structure save survival in the face of death all around in the wilderness, that there would be no masculine or feminine contrasts?
It looks like my other post about masculine women is getting some interest, so lets reverse the question and talk about straight feminine looking men.
What do you think of men who want relationships with women but are not the masculine ideal? In fact they look and act feminine. I am not talking about a cross dresser or transgender person, but just a man who has lots of female traits.
I am thinking of Mr Rogers. Soft, gentle, non athletic, small bones, weak chin, skinny, weak voiced and non assertive. Though really nice, supportive, communicative, easy going and pleasant. All the negative things associated with macho and manliness is gone in this person.
Would you want a relationship with a clone of Mr Rogers?
Both genders are kind of expected to conform to certain standards and the more you deviate from those standards, the more you'll be ridiculed. A guy who's sensitive or takes too much pride in his appearance will be labeled girly. A girl who's very tomboyish will be accused of being a lesbian. We live in a culture that tells people to be themselves and yet we also seem to frown on people who are too different. Go figure.
Exactly. What exactly are the characteristics of a straight feminine male?? Unless, you knew Mr. Rogers personally you have no idea how he acted when the cameras were off. Maybe, he beat the **** out of his wife, drank beer, got into fist fights for no reason, etc.
Based on the replies on this thread, the majority of the people would consider Jesus Christ to be a feminine male (some even gay)
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They would never want me.
... by the way just my 2 cents
Btw...b/4 you accuse me of being "arrogant", why don't you look in the mirror first, my good fellow? 
