Men: Do you keep in touch with your feminine side? (love, family)
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It is not wired in use its called socialization if you raised a boy the same as a girl he would display emotions. Boys are socialized into believing that basic human emotions are feminine.
No...thats not exclusivly true. Displays of emotion by men are not taught as being feminine but are taught to be kept in reserve and released in different settings (often VERY privately) as it often falls upon husbands and fathers to be "the stong one" in times of emotional crisis. This is appropriate. A man should be emotionally reserved (not devoid of feeling) but more reserved. Especially for the kids. When a loved one is lost, for example, someone has to be able to rationalize and comfort, which is hard to do. A husband and wife both need to be on the same page in times like this to help the little ones through. Cry yourself to sleep on your wifes shoulder but only when you have let the kids cry on yours. Theres NOTHING gender specific really....but men are naturally (mostly anyway) less willing to let go publicly.
No...thats not exclusivly true. Displays of emotion by men are not taught as being feminine but are taught to be kept in reserve and released in different settings (often VERY privately) as it often falls upon husbands and fathers to be "the stong one" in times of emotional crisis. This is appropriate. A man should be emotionally reserved (not devoid of feeling) but more reserved. Especially for the kids. When a loved one is lost, for example, someone has to be able to rationalize and comfort, which is hard to do. A husband and wife both need to be on the same page in times like this to help the little ones through. Cry yourself to sleep on your wifes shoulder but only when you have let the kids cry on yours. Theres NOTHING gender specific really....but men are naturally (mostly anyway) less willing to let go publicly.
I see a contradiction you state their taught to reserve their feelings yet you also state that its natural.
Yes men are taught that human emotions are feminine. Where do you think the phrases like stop crying like a girl and boys don't cry come from?
And its not a good thing that men suppress their natural human emotions. Look at some of the male soldiers who go to war and come back. They do not know how to express what they feel so instead they use aggression.
EDIT: Oh and if daddy doesn't cry in front of the kids what does that teach the kids. If it's a male child that just reinforces the men do not cry stereotype. He saw mommy cry but not daddy. So when something happens when the child is older or an adult that is devastating he may not cry because he never saw daddy doing so. Which in turn will cause him to bottle up emotions. That leads to problems especially if its as bad as losing a loved one.
Last edited by nitokenshi; 09-23-2008 at 03:25 PM..
No...thats not exclusivly true. Displays of emotion by men are not taught as being feminine but are taught to be kept in reserve and released in different settings (often VERY privately) as it often falls upon husbands and fathers to be "the stong one" in times of emotional crisis. This is appropriate. A man should be emotionally reserved (not devoid of feeling) but more reserved. Especially for the kids. When a loved one is lost, for example, someone has to be able to rationalize and comfort, which is hard to do. A husband and wife both need to be on the same page in times like this to help the little ones through. Cry yourself to sleep on your wifes shoulder but only when you have let the kids cry on yours. Theres NOTHING gender specific really....but men are naturally (mostly anyway) less willing to let go publicly.
i dont think parents, male or female, should show great displays of grief in front of the children. teach them its ok to cry, but dont have them rolling around on the floor beating themself. men and women should cry in front of the children. that does not mean they are weak. that just shows they are human. it has to be done in moderation. like anything else.
i would offer the same advice for anger. is it OK for kids to see their parents get extremely angry? no. is it ok for them to see them get moderately angry yes. the same with crying.
and dont treat your kids different folks. treat them equally. have high expectations and standards for both of them.
My parents taught me not to bottle in my sad feelings and to express it; however, as I grew older I noticed the other kids didn't show their feelings ever, so I just blocked my feelings and expression of them from elementary through college especially the tearful feelings.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nitokenshi
I see a contradiction you state their taught to reserve their feelings yet you also state that its natural.
Yes men are taught that human emotions are feminine. Where do you think the phrases like stop crying like a girl and boys don't cry come from?
And its not a good thing that men suppress their natural human emotions. Look at some of the male soldiers who go to war and come back. They do not know how to express what they feel so instead they use aggression.
EDIT: Oh and if daddy doesn't cry in front of the kids what does that teach the kids. If it's a male child that just reinforces the men do not cry stereotype. He saw mommy cry but not daddy. So when something happens when the child is older or an adult that is devastating he may not cry because he never saw daddy doing so. Which in turn will cause him to bottle up emotions. That leads to problems especially if its as bad as losing a loved one.
Agreed. My parents would hold in their anger for who knows how long and then unleash it at odd moments and a big shouting argument would erupt. That was really freaky then but when I got older and more mature I warned them not do that and that they needed to have productive discussions about things instead of putting it off and ranting, raving, and berating each other at odd times. Sometimes they need reminders because they can be like angry toddlers throwing tantrums if they are not stopped.
Quote:
Originally Posted by the one
i dont think parents, male or female, should show great displays of grief in front of the children. teach them its ok to cry, but dont have them rolling around on the floor beating themself. men and women should cry in front of the children. that does not mean they are weak. that just shows they are human. it has to be done in moderation. like anything else.
i would offer the same advice for anger. is it OK for kids to see their parents get extremely angry? no. is it ok for them to see them get moderately angry yes. the same with crying.
and dont treat your kids different folks. treat them equally. have high expectations and standards for both of them.
Feminine side meaning being sentimental and sensitive.
I was watching Charlotte's Web last night and when she died I just bursted out in tears. Everybody was surprised of seeing me like this since I portray myself as a strong character, macho, manly, tough whathaveyou.
Any thoughts?
Just keep repeating to yourself.... "It's just a movie, it isn't real"
I call one of my coworks whatever random girls name comes to mind. Does that count for something?
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