Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am only an inch or so shorter than my DH and I also don't like being taller, even if just in appearance with heels on. I got over it. There are times when I am wearing shoes that put me very close to that comfort line but hey, 17 years of marriage and I would miss him more than I miss the heels.
It may be easier because I am tall to begin with and if I wore heels I would be over 6 feet tall, I don't need that so I stick with flats or low heels anyway. Give the guy a chance and give your feet a break from the heels.
I'm no lady, but here's my free advice: Why don't you ask him if it's an issue for him?
I brought it up to him briefly last night asking him if he had any issues with it. He said, "as long as the shoes don't get much taller than what you're wearing."
I don't mean to be unkind, but I'm going to be blunt. Get over it.
Actually, it is unkind advice, Ellie. Is that the most valuable advice you have to offer - get over it? I'll keep an eye out for your posts with your issues to offer my foot up your @ss. I am the Queen of Blunt.
Location: from houstoner to bostoner to new yorker to new jerseyite ;)
4,084 posts, read 12,696,510 times
Reputation: 1974
Quote:
Originally Posted by JeepGirl118
Like I said, I am looking for advice from women who have this same complex and have been in this situation. Fact is, height differences, to many people, are a big issue. Just as some men have issues of being with women who are overweight or taller than him. Same difference. Some may get over it and date outside their norm, I am trying to figure out if I can by this evening. Its not ALL about heels, I stated even in flats last night I still felt taller. Literally all my outfits (babydoll dresses, pants) are made to be with a heel, even most jeans because they are a couple inches longer in length for heels. Its too cool at night now for me for shorts.
This is not all about clothes. Its the psychological factor that drives me to feel this way.
I understand that, but I don't see how you are going to work through it with the help of a few strangers on a message board in time for your date tonight. I'd suggest therapy for a long-term solution and flats or low heels in the short-term.
I am only an inch or so shorter than my DH and I also don't like being taller, even if just in appearance with heels on. I got over it. There are times when I am wearing shoes that put me very close to that comfort line but hey, 17 years of marriage and I would miss him more than I miss the heels.
It may be easier because I am tall to begin with and if I wore heels I would be over 6 feet tall, I don't need that so I stick with flats or low heels anyway. Give the guy a chance and give your feet a break from the heels.
So you are saying that its really an issue that you notice more than other people may? Uncertain, but it feels like others might be staring noticing what I notice. I was with my ex-husband of 20 years who is 6'1. New to dating guys after all that time.
I understand that, but I don't see how you are going to work through it with the help of a few strangers on a message board in time for your date tonight. I'd suggest therapy for a long-term solution and flats or low heels in the short-term.
Therapy for height differences? As I mentioned in the post above, I was with my ex husband for 20 years who was 6'1, new to dating - my ex was the only man I had ever been with - I feel totally awkward as it is being in the company of new men - and the height difference makes it feel even more awkward. A therapist cannot help with that. I am solely seeking out opinions of those who have been in my shoes (no pun) - and "how" they got over it. I mean. the guy has already stated that as long as my shoes do not get any taller, he is fine with it. But I am not willing to compromise who I am (and I realize that there are way too many people in this world that do not incorporate 'who they are' in their wardrobe and clothes and shoes have no importance, those are the opinions I am not seeking) - but to change out my wardrobe and all shoes - is to compromise myself - to change who I am for a man? This height thing is more trouble than its worth. I am starting to feel like the man who prefers skinny and petite - who found a great woman who is fat, but is having a hard time dealing with it and feeling like a heel because of it. I may have to walk away from this one.
Actually, it is unkind advice, Ellie. Is that the most valuable advice you have to offer - get over it? I'll keep an eye out for your posts with your issues to offer my foot up your @ss. I am the Queen of Blunt.
I think being direct (or blunt) is the kindest. It's called tough love.
If you recognize you have an issue, you might as well deal with it.
If you want to retaliate, go for it. Personally, I think your time could be better spent.
I think being direct (or blunt) is the kindest. It's called tough love.
If you recognize you have an issue, you might as well deal with it.
If you want to retaliate, go for it.
Ellie, it's so improper to tell anyone to "get over it" when you offer no resolve on how to attain it. That's just talking to talk. That, m'dear, is your issue, not mine.
Not exactly. That's like telling someone to leave someone because the sex is not so hot. I believe leaving is a last resort. There must be some way to get over this or work through it.
I'm afraid you've pretty much ruled out any solution so you may have to go with your last resort. The only thing left I can think of is the fact that you say it's a psychological issue - so maybe look into therapy to get passed it? That may seem extreme but like I say, you've ruled out anything else I can think of.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
