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That sounds like a cop out for protecting your ego. Your idea of "old fashioned" is more like "I don't want to take a chance of getting rejected".
Get over it. Men have been taking those chances for centuries. It won't kill you.
I dropped hints and made myself available, that IS taking a chance. I just expect him to ask to see me again or ask for my number. If they are not interested, they can choose to walk away and reject me.
I'm 46. I'll make the first move without even thinking about it. It's so much easier than waiting around for the guy to get up the nerve. If I make the first move, I don't waste any time waiting, and can find out right away if he's interested or not. And if it scares him off, he's not man enough for me anyway.
I think it's highly outdated/old-fashioned to expect the man to make the first move.
I wish more women were like you. Us guys get tired of trying to figure out if women are interested or not. If we get mixed signals, we'll move on to someone else. As for men being intimidated by women making the first move, that's a complete lie. Men are like women in that they find confidence attractive. If a woman is confident enough in herself that she's willing to make the first move, a man won't feel threatened. He'll feel incredibly flattered. A word of advice for all those women waiting for some guy to ask them out. While you're waiting, he's either moved on to someone else or some other woman has made her move on him.
^^ Or he made a move on her. I think it's great for a woman to make the first move, but I don't expect them to. All those women complaining that only the guys they aren't interested in approach them, how about taking some initiative towards your own happiness?
I'm a pretty strong person and someone who's going to wait around for me to make the first move isn't strong enough for me.
Just because he waits for you to make the first move doesn't make him weak. Guys will hesitate for a lot of reasons. Maybe he's busy trying to figure out if you're interested.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyV
I dropped hints and made myself available, that IS taking a chance. I just expect him to ask to see me again or ask for my number. If they are not interested, they can choose to walk away and reject me.
Let me clue you in about us men. We're stupid. We don't get subtlety. What you think are hints will often go right over our heads. This is what makes the dating game so silly. People can't just come out and say what they're thinking. They play mind games, trying to send little hints to the other person letting him know it's OK for him to make his move. I guarantee you that while you're wondering if he's interested in you, he's wondering the same thing about you. I know a lot of people think that's the fun part about dating. But it's also why so many of us complain that we never meet anyone worth dating. Maybe we have but because we didn't say anything, that person didn't ask us out.
Just because he waits for you to make the first move doesn't make him weak. Guys will hesitate for a lot of reasons. Maybe he's busy trying to figure out if you're interested.
Let me clue you in about us men. We're stupid. We don't get subtlety. What you think are hints will often go right over our heads. This is what makes the dating game so silly. People can't just come out and say what they're thinking. They play mind games, trying to send little hints to the other person letting him know it's OK for him to make his move. I guarantee you that while you're wondering if he's interested in you, he's wondering the same thing about you. I know a lot of people think that's the fun part about dating. But it's also why so many of us complain that we never meet anyone worth dating. Maybe we have but because we didn't say anything, that person didn't ask us out.
I totally get what you're saying. I'm starting to believe that the notions I had aren't reality any longer.
Women give off a lot of false signals these days. This is where knowing the difference between a genuine smile and a faked one comes in real handy, since its impossible to fake a genuine smile, unless the person feels like lightly whispering "cheese" constantly. it's the only way to get the zygo muscles to pull back unaturally.
in responce to Mr Cats...
"I went on a couple of dates (2 times) and my date had to actually make the first move ( as far a holding hands and kissing ), reason being I kept on getting the wrong signal, even though I knew they were attracted to me I couldn't acutally tell if it was ok to take the initiative."
^^ Or he made a move on her. I think it's great for a woman to make the first move, but I don't expect them to. All those women complaining that only the guys they aren't interested in approach them, how about taking some initiative towards your own happiness?
Sound advice. Looking back on my dating history when I was younger, if I had chose rather than waited to be chosen, I would have had better circumstances.
Women give off a lot of false signals these days. This is where knowing the difference between a genuine smile and a faked one comes in real handy, since its impossible to fake a genuine smile, unless the person feels like lightly whispering "cheese" constantly. it's the only way to get the zygo muscles to pull back unaturally.
Yep, I was guilty of that. I would come off as overly excited to see someone just because of my bubbly personality back then and it would be taken the wrong way.
Try dating a waitress or a female bartender(heh thought you'd trap me saying barmaid...ohh wait does in parethesis count?....dohhhhhhh)! They all know to touch men. But they do it while its semi-safe while standing up walking around serving food or behind a bar. But they overtouch during dates and give off the stage three intimacy signal wayyyy too soon, thus a lot of slaaaps, "he was all hands" confusion.
Sound advice. Looking back on my dating history when I was younger, if I had chose rather than waited to be chosen, I would have had better circumstances.
Me too, if I had been more of a risk taker early on and just made a move instead of waiting for signals (or expecting the woman to act) I would have had a much more varied experience with women.
I'm just recently getting over this and losing my fear of rejection to be honest.
It's never too late to change, I don't know your age but if you start making steps now your love life will improve. It's not about making things easier for the guy, it's about chasing your own happiness instead of expecting it hand delivered.
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