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The Deep South is known overall for higher rates of kids per family, it's not any sort of personal attack against everyone who lives some place. Most people who live in Los Angeles are happy Obama won. I'm not happy at all. It's just how it works. If you live in the South, you have to get pretty used to being made fun of by this point -- South Park, Family Guy, pretty much every comedy show I can think of constantly makes fun of the South. It's for a reason. It doesn't mean if you live there all of the stereotypes must be true, just means that there's a reason there are stereotypes and funny jokes about the South.
This always amazed me...why would you want to continue to have children when your already struggling...???? Especially in this day and age with birth control out there. I'm really hoping and praying, this changes quickly...it, to me, is a lack of education...to just keep poppin out children when your emmersed in poverty?
I'm very hopeful and confident, that with Obama as president, things will change greatly! Obama is a very intellegent man, and will hopefully prove as a role model, but an example of what you need to do, to better yourself. I admire the man a great deal, b/c of where he came from...and what he has accomplished...and I own much respect for the man...in hopes that he will accomplish something incredibly crucial in the success of society...and that is...we are all the results of our own choices...our choices are our responsiblity, and no one elses...and you've got to work very hard to get to where your going....b/c if you don't, you contaminate society...and bring everyone else around you down. What we think and feel is who we are.
So, I'm optomistic that this will mean great change...for me, he is a man...who now has the power in his hands, to forever change the way society thinks and feels. He may very well, be a role model and incentive for our youth...therefore, changing the stigma that have so stagnated our society...including educating people that you will not be rewarded for the amount of children you have...
If you educate parents...you change the chains that bind. And I hope that is what he means by education...not just scholastically, but also, morally....
A guy I work with always makes a joke when ever we hear about some of the ways our very own children are gowing up right here in America....he grumbles..."You should have to take a test, before you have children". Now of course, he's kidding...but...a lack of knowledge breeds a lack of knowledge...lazy breeds lazy...lack of responsiblies to society, breeds the same...
Children are our future...and I have great hopes...that someday, somewhere along the line, more and more people are going to get it...
Children will neither make or break a relationship.
Bzzzzt! Whaa...?
If I were back in the dating game and met a person who had enough amenable qualities to make me perk up and take notice, then was told by that person that having kids was a must, I'd probably have an identical reaction to the one this morning when I saw the dogs had crapped on the floor: dismay and disgust. I'd probably resolve the situation in the same way: clear him away, then light a candle to drive away the stench so I could forget he ever existed
Don't know if this thread is still going but on an interesting side-note, I am F, single, in my 30's, I DO want kids, and when I meet a guy, we are just having a casual conversation, and he'll ask me if I want kids. Why would a complete stranger ask me this? It's almost a double edged sword, If I say "no, definately not" then I'm out because he wants kids, or if I say "yes, I do", then I'm out as well because now he'll perceive me as desparate?
Why do some men ask this so early on when meeting a woman? why do they really want to know on a first date?
I just assume I'm meeting the wrong guys anyway!
It's like a guy being worried if his gf/wife asks "do these pants make me look fat?" or something like that, I mean, what is the correct answer?
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiveTodayLez08
I know I'm not a guy but I'll answer anyway.
I don't want kids and I don't want to date or settle down with anyone who has kids or wants kids.
I am sure some men would be relieved to find a woman who doesn't want kids. They are out there.
Don't know if this thread is still going but on an interesting side-note, I am F, single, in my 30's, I DO want kids, and when I meet a guy, we are just having a casual conversation, and he'll ask me if I want kids. Why would a complete stranger ask me this? It's almost a double edged sword, If I say "no, definately not" then I'm out because he wants kids, or if I say "yes, I do", then I'm out as well because now he'll perceive me as desparate?
Why do some men ask this so early on when meeting a woman? why do they really want to know on a first date?
I just assume I'm meeting the wrong guys anyway!
It's like a guy being worried if his gf/wife asks "do these pants make me look fat?" or something like that, I mean, what is the correct answer?
Why invest time and your heart in someone who does or does not want to have kids? Whatever your belief, why would you want to invest time in someone, who doesn't want what you want?
There is NO correct answer....the answer is who you are, and what your beliefs are, and if you would compromise those, to have someone in your life, you compromise your identity. Why would you do that...why would you accept someone who doesn't think and feel as you do? You don't change people's minds or change who they are...
It isn't about someone else making your life complete...what it's about, is you being special for your beliefs...which will attract the right person to you...
but you cannot answer someone's question dishonestly if you don't feel that way...that is a con, a lie, just to snag him, and very unfair to not only you, but to his heart as well.
Young men most likely want kids but the dinosaurs that are my cup of tea have been there done that and don't want any...which is fine by me cause they aint no bambinos coming from me any time soon.
thanks "cremebrulee", I figured this and I always answer truthfully, which is, yes I want kids. If he "disappears" after hearing this then, oh well..his loss! , I just wonder why they ask so soon. Like a test of some sort.
Now my problems seem to be: 1) finding a man who actually wants a relationship/marriage in the first place, and 2) that he wants kids also. I have almost given up hope that I will find this, but as I posted in other threads, I still continue to meet guys and enjoy my life. I don't let it stop me from doing things I like: travel, sports, etc!
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee
Why invest time and your heart in someone who does or does not want to have kids? Whatever your belief, why would you want to invest time in someone, who doesn't want what you want?
There is NO correct answer....the answer is who you are, and what your beliefs are, and if you would compromise those, to have someone in your life, you compromise your identity. Why would you do that...why would you accept someone who doesn't think and feel as you do? You don't change people's minds or change who they are...
It isn't about someone else making your life complete...what it's about, is you being special for your beliefs...which will attract the right person to you...
but you cannot answer someone's question dishonestly if you don't feel that way...that is a con, a lie, just to snag him, and very unfair to not only you, but to his heart as well.
Don't know if this thread is still going but on an interesting side-note, I am F, single, in my 30's, I DO want kids, and when I meet a guy, we are just having a casual conversation, and he'll ask me if I want kids. Why would a complete stranger ask me this? It's almost a double edged sword, If I say "no, definately not" then I'm out because he wants kids, or if I say "yes, I do", then I'm out as well because now he'll perceive me as desparate?
Why do some men ask this so early on when meeting a woman? why do they really want to know on a first date?
I just assume I'm meeting the wrong guys anyway!
It's like a guy being worried if his gf/wife asks "do these pants make me look fat?" or something like that, I mean, what is the correct answer?
The truth is. Wouldn't you want to know, upfront, whether or not HE wants kids?
"Oh, she's a great person in every respect...EXCEPT that she wants kids." I wouldn't want to invest a lot in something that's never going to work. And I'd rather find out quickly, then after I've invested six months or more in the "relationship".
I would not want a single mother. Too many times the child belongs to a bastard and i could not bear the thought. Of having to raise his kid. Not mine. Plus many women are bitter for having made the wrong decision. Well I can tell you that next time you should have an abortion or better yet use a condom!!
I don't want kids and I don't want to date or settle down with anyone who has kids or wants kids.
I am sure some men would be relieved to find a woman who doesn't want kids. They are out there.
They sure are. When I was a single wench, it was considered a BIG PLUS that I did not already have kids and that I did not want any. I never had any trouble finding nice men who shared my enthusiasm at being childfree.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colddiamond102
My question is this.
Guys, if you met a woman and she was absolutely fabulous, but you found out that she was adamant about not having children, would you still be interested in her?
It's a dealbreaker for a lot of guys who are looking for a permanent relationship, unless they are likewise committed childfree.
My advice is to find the nearest childfree group to you. As for me,I won't even date a woman unless she were "adamant about not having children". Heck, I hesitate to even flirt with such women, for I don't want to give even the impression that I find them attractive (not that I automatically find them unattractive. It's just that I don't want to get their hopes up about me being a good match for them)
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It doesn't mean if you live there all of the stereotypes must be true, just means that there's a reason there are stereotypes and funny jokes about the South.
, I just wonder why they ask so soon. Like a test of some sort.
