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Some of you seem to think that waiting until you get married and having proof that someone wants you that bad will shield you from possible relationship disaster and breakup in the future.Wrong.There are no guarentee on anything.
So you waited a year with no sex and got married,a few years latter they leave you for someone else and say I just don't love you anymore.It happens to people who have been married 25 years what makes you think it can't happen to you because you made someone prove to you they were willing to wait?
If you want to hold out fine do what you think is right but don't b**** when you can't find someone.The guy (or girl) after a while is going to start thinking they are a sucker and are being manipulated.
So emotions and connection doesn't really play into the consequences of having sex.
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Originally Posted by cpg35223
Yep. And when you consider that marriage wasn't even a sacrament of the church until the 12th Century, it's a fairly late concept as well.
Mental problems have been documented for those that pursue uncommitted sexual relationships.
I bring this up only because the person you are dating isn't a sure fire way of really knowing he can be truly trusted or relied upon. He could be dating other people on the side that are putting out quicker. I'm not sure I'd appreciate that.
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Originally Posted by eatfastnoodle
Yeah, people have needs, both men and women. No sex will frustrate your date, it will also cause mental problems for women. I'm sure if people 1000 years lived as long as we do today and married as late as we do today, the whole religious establishment would never create such a huge fuss about premarital sex.
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Originally Posted by cpg35223
Thank goodness. It's a silly notion forced on us. Celibacy before marriage was a good idea when people were typically married at age 14, 16, or even 20. But when people aren't getting married until age 28 or 30, it's a ridiculous idea.
Good insight; however, it feels worse when the person isn't ever there for you such as in a dating relationship. With dating you can have sex with whomever you want while going steady as well as break up whenever you want and there will be only small consequences compared to marriage relationships.
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Originally Posted by lionking
Some of you seem to think that waiting until you get married and having proof that someone wants you that bad will shield you from possible relationship disaster and breakup in the future.Wrong.There are no guarentee on anything.
So you waited a year with no sex and got married,a few years latter they leave you for someone else and say I just don't love you anymore.It happens to people who have been married 25 years what makes you think it can't happen to you because you made someone prove to you they were willing to wait?
You think buying a house or car is more serious than sex? How cold and deatched....Buying a house or car does not lead to unwanted pregnancy, disease, emotional pain, nor does it violate anyone's integrity..
Heck yes buying a house (or car) is more serious than sex! A legally-binding 30 year mortgage is a helluva lot more momentous than a momentary roll in the hay. Maybe they're not as emotional or intimate and fulfilling, but major purchases like that certainly ARE more serious.
[sidebar: I get *so* tired of those with puritanical views on sex always referring to STD's and unwanted pregnancy as blanket reasons NOT to have sex. The reality is that most people DO NOT have STDs and when properly used condoms prevent STD's in 99+% of instances.] Most sex does not result in STDs or pregnancy...it's simply pleasure and intimacy shared between people. Yes, sex *can* lead to unwanted pregnancy and disease...just as buying a house can lead to a catastrophic fire or purchasing a car can lead to a wreck on the interstate.]
Good insight; however, it feels worse when the person isn't ever there for you such as in a dating relationship. With dating you can have sex with whomever you want while going steady as well as break up whenever you want and there will be only small consequences compared to marriage relationships.
Was once talking to a guy who was married for a few years he said to me "man my wife purposely stays up watching TV until I conk out from waiting for her to be done with her shows,she won't intitate and rejects just about all my advances any more,we have a sexless marriage now".
Guy loved her,been married for a few years,it don't matter if you waited till marriage for sex or not there is no guarentee that your wonderful beautiful love filled marriage will be forever.There is no guarentee on love,it just doesn't work that way,some may stay together forever some won't,some will only stay together because they think it is the moral thing to do even though they hate it.
Yes, sex *can* lead to unwanted pregnancy and disease...just as buying a house can lead to a catastrophic fire or purchasing a car can lead to a wreck on the interstate.
And about as likely... Just more fear-mongering the only purpose of which is to suck more and more joy out of the lives of the peons.
Good points and stuff. That is why I do not believe in marriage. I hardly believe in relationships anymore (although I used to want to work on building relationships in the past, now I've happily given up) because there is no guarantee for anything. There are just no promises and rejection feels horrible and being with somebody that you hate also feels horrible. Relationships as a whole can be extremely unfullfilling and negative.
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Originally Posted by lionking
Was once talking to a guy who was married for a few years he said to me "man my wife purposely stays up watching TV until I conk out from waiting for her to be done with her shows,she won't intitate and rejects just about all my advances any more,we have a sexless marriage now".
Guy loved her,been married for a few years,it don't matter if you waited till marriage for sex or not there is no guarentee that your wonderful beautiful love filled marriage will be forever.There is no guarentee on love,it just doesn't work that way,some may stay together forever some won't,some will only stay together because they think it is the moral thing to do even though they hate it.
[sidebar: I get *so* tired of those with puritanical views on sex always referring to STD's and unwanted pregnancy as blanket reasons NOT to have sex. The reality is that most people DO NOT have STDs and when properly used condoms prevent STD's in 99+% of instances.] Most sex does not result in STDs or pregnancy...it's simply pleasure and intimacy shared between people. Yes, sex *can* lead to unwanted pregnancy and disease...just as buying a house can lead to a catastrophic fire or purchasing a car can lead to a wreck on the interstate.]
Yep and just because you may hold out from traditional sex that doesn't mean there can't be any sex at all.In fact that is better sometimes than full blown banging.Give the guy a hand,give the guy lip service,(and vice versa)masterbate together,share your bodies without banging........got nice boobs?use them with him....
If you are worried about STD,that kind of sex has almost none existant risk which after knowing person a couple months seems like you would have an idea anyway and if they won't tell you before what makes you think they will tell you after you marry?
Hey that is a good idea but people will and can lie about having an STD or they can be ignorant of having one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking
Yep and just because you may hold out from traditional sex that doesn't mean there can't be any sex at all.In fact that is better sometimes than full blown banging.Give the guy a hand,give the guy lip service,(and vice versa)masterbate together,share your bodies without banging........got nice boobs?use them with him....
If you are worried about STD,that kind of sex has almost none existant risk which after knowing person a couple months seems like you would have an idea anyway and if they won't tell you before what makes you think they will tell you after you marry?
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Just more fear-mongering the only purpose of which is to suck more and more joy out of the lives of the peons.
