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I'm 24 years old and just started working for a new company about half a year ago. I started working out everyday about 2 months ago and met a woman who also works out in the company gym quite often. It's usually only the two of us working out in the gym since we both get off work around the same time. One day I decided to go up to her and introduce myself. We started talking and I really enjoyed the conversations we've had. We would talk for 20, 30 mins at a time. I was sure I felt a connection so I decided to ask her to get a cup of coffee w/ me. She said yes and like always, we had a pretty good conversation. At the end of the night, I surprised her with flowers and she was surprised and told me "it was too much" but took it and gave me a hug.
A few days later, I talked to her again and she thanked me for the flowers, but said she's not comfortable dating someone working at the same company and she told me that she's 30.
I have never felt the same way about any women like this one. She's nice, beatiful and a wonderful person. Although I realize that 6 years is not a small age difference, I don't think it would be a big problem. I asked her to have coffee with me and talk it over in a few days, she agreed.
I really like her and would love to have a chance to start something real and meanful. Although we do work for the same company, we don't work together. So I don't think that should be a problem either.
I want to continue to pursue her, but am not as confident as when I asked her out the first time. I want to get some feedback from women's perspective. Please give me some advice. Thanks in advance.
The age is not a factor in my opinion, but working for the same company could present a problem & make things very uncomfortable if things didn't work out. I'd go for it.......
Sounds like it may be there,just go carefully not pushing too hard,that is my take on it from a guys prespective anyway.As far as the company,if it is a problem then make a choice to what is more important your job or her.
Six years is nothing, unless you are in different places as far as maturity. Usually men are less mature so this works to your disadvantage. Are you financially secure and ready to settle down? I would think this would be the focus of most women 30+. If not, this could be a major issue.
As far as the working in the same place, do your paths cross professionally? Could you make decisions that would affect her job or vice versa? Does your company have a "no fraternization" policy? If so, it may be that she doesn't want to jeopardize her career.
I met my husband at work. You would be surprised at how many people met their SO at work. After all, you spend most of your day there! The people I worked with thought it was "cute". But, after all, we didn't report to each other or work in the same dept.
I hate to dampen the party, but I think she was trying to politely say no. In my late 20s I dated a few women who were more than 5 years older than I was. One of the great things was the lower level of BS you put up with. They were very straightforward about what they wanted and it was a VERY refreshing change from younger women. I think she is not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship or you have moved too fast. Then again if you find her after she has a few cocktails you WILL know if the cougar wants to pounce.
Thanks for all the comments. I have thought about this a lot recently. Although I'm more mature than most 24 year olds, I don't think I'm as mature as she is. Our professional paths don't cross, especially since her team is moving to a different dept. But she doesn't want people within the company talking about her(we work at a midsized company). After talking to a few friends, I think perhaps I have moved a little too fast. I know that I want to be in a long-term relationship but I'm not 100% sure that I'm prepared for marriage at this point in my life. I'm not rich by any means, just graduated from college not too long ago, but I am financially stable. Do you think maybe I should slow down, just try being her friend for now and see what happens in the future? I really don't want to put her in any awkward situation since she really is a wonderful person.
Exactly! I would try to be friends for a while. Get to know her a lot better. You might have scared her off by moving too fast. And I wouldn't worry about putting her in an awkward situation. She is probably more flattered than anything else.
However, if you do decide to be friends, make sure you don't make any moves on her. If you do, she might think you are just using the friendship to get a foot in the door. I would wait a very long time before you try to move it to the next level.
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