Is divorced and single the same thing? (dating, wife, boyfriend)
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This was brought up in another thread recently by srjth, and being a divorcee, I felt it merited some discussion.
Is being divorced and being single the same thing? I consider myself to be single since I have zero contact with my ex-wife, I don't pay alimony, nor do we have children together (we had a quickie no-fault divorce that cost me less than $300 including legal fees). I'm guessing this view might change when property and children are involved.
As a divorcee, my mother considers herself "single". I also think it's relevant to call yourself single. If someone asks if you were previously married, I suppose it's relevant then, or if you need to fill out some sort of paperwork?
Personally, if someone says "divorced" it sounds to me like they are still hung up on their marriage. I KNOW this isn't always true at all, but I can't help first impressions.
This was brought up in another thread recently by srjth, and being a divorcee, I felt it merited some discussion.
Is being divorced and being single the same thing? I consider myself to be single since I have zero contact with my ex-wife, I don't pay alimony, nor do we have children together (we had a quickie no-fault divorce that cost me less than $300 including legal fees). I'm guessing this view might change when property and children are involved.
Annnnnndddddd...discuss!
It depends on what options one is given on whatever form being filled out, though most have both "divorced" and "single".
It does irk me that there's this weird lack of clarity about "when does a divorced person get to go back to being called 'single', if ever ?".
I'm both single & divorced, which sounds redundant-yet other folks are single and not divorced (nor are/were they married). It's all just annoyingly imprecise.
Plus, I think about being "a single person" far more than I think about being "a divorcee", in terms of demographic identity.
It depends on what options one is given on whatever form being filled out, though most have both "divorced" and "single".
It does irk me that there's this weird lack of clarity about "when does a divorced person get to go back to being called 'single', if ever ?".
I'm both single & divorced, which sounds redundant-yet other folks are single and not divorced (nor are/were they married). It's all just annoyingly imprecise.
Plus, I think about being "a single person" far more than I think about being "a divorcee", in terms of demographic identity.
That's the only time I ever acknowledge being divorced. In Virginia, if you apply to work in a public school system, you are investigated by the Department of Social Services, and you have to put your exes name on that. That's the part I always hate.
When you are divorced you are single, but when you are single, you are not necessarily divorced.
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This was brought up in another thread recently by srjth, and being a divorcee, I felt it merited some discussion.
Is being divorced and being single the same thing? I consider myself to be single since I have zero contact with my ex-wife, I don't pay alimony, nor do we have children together (we had a quickie no-fault divorce that cost me less than $300 including legal fees). I'm guessing this view might change when property and children are involved.
Annnnnndddddd...discuss!
Depends if you are looking toward the future or to the past.
It's not the same thing. Single to me means never married whereas divorced means you have been married. The fact is even though someone is no currently married to others the marital status means a lot. I was chatting with this one guy who claimed he was single until he told me he was recently divorced but to him it was the same. To me it's not. I am not open to divorced men in most cases.
To me, the pivotal issue is whether children are involved. If some one has children, whether in a prior marriage or a more casual relationship, that person is "divorced". If without children, then "single".
The secondary issue is one of property. If paying alimony or otherwise with financial entanglement with one's ex, then divorced. If there is no lingering entanglement (alimony is over, all assets are split, no encumberments on pensions or portfolios), then single.
The operative issue is the depth of prior relationships. If two people united their lives as a couple for many years, had kids together, bought a house together and then split - well, even if by legal statute they weren't formally married, in actuality they were. And now they are divorced. If two people were married but lived a happily child-free life essentially as boyfriend and girlfriend, even if officially married - and then parted no-strings on amicable terms, then in actuality there are now single.
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I don't believe it is the same thing in the dating world.
