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Early into my relationship I discovered my boyfriend was looking at porn. It upset me a lot and he stopped looking at it because of that. Eventually, he got tired of waiting for us to have sex (I wanted to wait until marriage) so he said he started looking at porn again.
He said a man HAS to do something. From then on he's been honest when he looks at porn and he even has tons of pictures on his ipod touch and computer that he lets me look through. I've given up on trying to get him to not look at porn because he basically gave me 2 options: 1) Deal with it (because I guess he apparently wasn't going to do anything about it) or 2) Don't deal with it and find someone else who declares they don't look at porn but really they do because all guys do and most just lie about it.
Whew! Option #2 is kinda lengthy lol. So do guys really HAVE to look at porn if they're getting no action? Shoot do they even have to look at porn if they get action? He gets defensive now when I disapprove of his porn collection and gets frustrated with me.
I hate porn. But I feel helpless in the world of men. So I've just come to passively accept all men will continue to look at it until who knows when.
It's a slippery slope when you start compromising your standards for someone else. Only you know if you can live with that compromise in your life, no one else. Ask yourself how much it bothers you, because it won't change with time. Not all men are into it or need it. But many are, and many who claim they aren't are checking it out on the sly, so if this is something you are going to take a firm stand on, you have to find a partner who shares the same ideals, otherwise be prepared to compromise or deal with men and their "secret stashes".
It's a slippery slope when you start compromising your standards for someone else. Only you know if you can live with that compromise in your life, no one else. Ask yourself how much it bothers you, because it won't change with time. Not all men are into it or need it. But many are, and many who claim they aren't are checking it out on the sly, so if this is something you are going to take a firm stand on, you have to find a partner who shares the same ideals, otherwise be prepared to compromise or deal with men and their "secret stashes".
Very true...
...and when you do get married and finally 'give it up' doesnt mean the porn will go away...
My guy don't look at porn, he really has no interest in it at all... and his sex drive is great! What he does like to look at is pictures of car and dirt bikes, the parts like engines and suspensions, and videos of people racing them. He really sees no purpose in looking and thinking about women other than the one he is with. He did look through his dad's collection of porn magazines when he was a teen, but ever since he started to have girlfriends, he has no interest in fantasizing about other women.
And I wouldn't be upset if he did look at porn, and a lot of guys do seem to collect it on their computers... so there's no reason for him to hide it from me. I do know that I'm a lucky woman, but there are other men out there that aren't interested in looking at porn as if it's a necessity to their being. I also feel that it's more acceptable to look at porn if one is going through a dating dry spell. But if one is in a good healthy relationship, the porn viewing shouldn't be needed.
Porn is a powerful visual stimulus. My BFs and I are very happy and satisfied with our sex life, however, we watch porn because we like it and it turns us on.
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Very true...
