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Old 03-18-2009, 07:12 PM
 
64 posts, read 490,064 times
Reputation: 101

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Early into my relationship I discovered my boyfriend was looking at porn. It upset me a lot and he stopped looking at it because of that. Eventually, he got tired of waiting for us to have sex (I wanted to wait until marriage) so he said he started looking at porn again.

He said a man HAS to do something. From then on he's been honest when he looks at porn and he even has tons of pictures on his ipod touch and computer that he lets me look through. I've given up on trying to get him to not look at porn because he basically gave me 2 options: 1) Deal with it (because I guess he apparently wasn't going to do anything about it) or 2) Don't deal with it and find someone else who declares they don't look at porn but really they do because all guys do and most just lie about it.

Whew! Option #2 is kinda lengthy lol. So do guys really HAVE to look at porn if they're getting no action? Shoot do they even have to look at porn if they get action? He gets defensive now when I disapprove of his porn collection and gets frustrated with me.

I hate porn. But I feel helpless in the world of men. So I've just come to passively accept all men will continue to look at it until who knows when.

 
Old 03-18-2009, 07:14 PM
 
3,089 posts, read 8,511,859 times
Reputation: 2046
good luck trying to find a man that doesn't look at porn
 
Old 03-18-2009, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 21,342,445 times
Reputation: 5522
Hmmmm,.....ok I guess.
 
Old 03-18-2009, 07:17 PM
 
Location: SC
462 posts, read 968,887 times
Reputation: 339
I dont have a problem with it as long as it is in moderation.
 
Old 03-18-2009, 07:20 PM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
10,172 posts, read 20,788,602 times
Reputation: 19869
It's a slippery slope when you start compromising your standards for someone else. Only you know if you can live with that compromise in your life, no one else. Ask yourself how much it bothers you, because it won't change with time. Not all men are into it or need it. But many are, and many who claim they aren't are checking it out on the sly, so if this is something you are going to take a firm stand on, you have to find a partner who shares the same ideals, otherwise be prepared to compromise or deal with men and their "secret stashes".
 
Old 03-18-2009, 07:24 PM
 
Location: SC
462 posts, read 968,887 times
Reputation: 339
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coolhand68 View Post
It's a slippery slope when you start compromising your standards for someone else. Only you know if you can live with that compromise in your life, no one else. Ask yourself how much it bothers you, because it won't change with time. Not all men are into it or need it. But many are, and many who claim they aren't are checking it out on the sly, so if this is something you are going to take a firm stand on, you have to find a partner who shares the same ideals, otherwise be prepared to compromise or deal with men and their "secret stashes".
Very true...

...and when you do get married and finally 'give it up' doesnt mean the porn will go away...
 
Old 03-18-2009, 07:25 PM
 
Location: Wyoming
9,724 posts, read 21,242,232 times
Reputation: 14823
You might find a guy who really doesn't look at porn now and then, but if you do you'll also have found a guy with no sex drive.

I'm 63, and I still peek at it... rarely... out of the corner of my eye... wearing dark glasses... and holding my hand in front of my face.

I have never had sex with that woman, either.

And I didn't inhale.
 
Old 03-18-2009, 07:27 PM
 
Location: SC
462 posts, read 968,887 times
Reputation: 339
Quote:
Originally Posted by WyoNewk View Post
You might find a guy who really doesn't look at porn now and then, but if you do you'll also have found a guy with no sex drive.

I'm 63, and I still peek at it... rarely... out of the corner of my eye... wearing dark glasses... and holding my hand in front of my face.

I have never had sex with that woman, either.

And I didn't inhale.
funny!!
 
Old 03-18-2009, 07:37 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,769 posts, read 40,184,340 times
Reputation: 18106
My guy don't look at porn, he really has no interest in it at all... and his sex drive is great! What he does like to look at is pictures of car and dirt bikes, the parts like engines and suspensions, and videos of people racing them. He really sees no purpose in looking and thinking about women other than the one he is with. He did look through his dad's collection of porn magazines when he was a teen, but ever since he started to have girlfriends, he has no interest in fantasizing about other women.

And I wouldn't be upset if he did look at porn, and a lot of guys do seem to collect it on their computers... so there's no reason for him to hide it from me. I do know that I'm a lucky woman, but there are other men out there that aren't interested in looking at porn as if it's a necessity to their being. I also feel that it's more acceptable to look at porn if one is going through a dating dry spell. But if one is in a good healthy relationship, the porn viewing shouldn't be needed.
 
Old 03-18-2009, 07:39 PM
 
Location: On the Sunny Side of the Street
355 posts, read 814,997 times
Reputation: 211
Women watch porn, too. It's not just men.

Porn is a powerful visual stimulus. My BFs and I are very happy and satisfied with our sex life, however, we watch porn because we like it and it turns us on.
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