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Should be a long waiting period between applying for marriage license and actually marrying the person. 6 months to a year. Longer if you are under 30, a little shorter if older than 30 maybe.
People should be allowed 2 marriages in a lifetime period. Whether you are no longer married because of death (widow) or via divorce, should be treated the same. ONly 2 marriages allowed.
Just something I'm mentally toying with, but starting to sound more and more logical the more I think about it.
Make it very difficult and hoop-jumping to get married in the first place. And minimum age of 25. Anyone under 25 cannot marry.
Just ideas. That's all.
If two people are mature and in love at 19 years old, but not allowed to marry until 25, then they will still be in love at 25 and have a successful marriage together.....if they were destined to be together and happy till death to they part, that is.
Committing for life to anybody at 18 or 19 years old has proven to be a failure for the general society. Just look at the numbers.
Our brains aren't fully developed until 25 anyway. That should be support enough right there.....
Last edited by suebee123; 03-09-2014 at 03:43 AM..
Probably not a bad idea to require a little counseling
Quote:
Originally Posted by beaudet2b
IMO, people are asked to make decisions that will affect the rest of thier lives during thier early adulthood. most people dont even know who they are by the time they graduate from college. I mean really. Are we the same at 21 as we are at 31? By the time we know who we are and our parteners know who they are, we have been married for 10 years and have 2 or three kids and a dog and a house.....then what? We wake up and see that this isnt as fufilling as we thought it would be. or this partner isnt who I thought she/he was.
IMO, it should be difficult to get married when you are young. All the items that come up in a divorce should be discussed prior to reciving a marriage license. Young people should be asked the hard questions on parenting, readiness for monogomy...... Prove you are ready for marriage.
If it is difficult to get married, then people, IMO, would be less likley to give up on a marriage, and find a way to make it work.
What do you think?
I suppose it could work, like taking lessons and a test before you get a drivers license. Even then, some people will outgrow each other or grow lazy and complacent and still divorce. Or push on and marry unwisely to begin with, ignoring obvious incompatibilities during the counseling phase.
My husband regrets marrying young the first time, mostly because they reproduced young and his children had to pay for his poor judgement. He is a good father and loves them but would have preferred to have had them in a healthier happier marriage.
I made a mistake myself, young, although thankfully we did not have children together, which is a huge load of guilt and responsibility for unhappily married and divorcing people.
I think they should do away with no fault. You should have to show cause. There are situations that warrant divorce and others that do not. If marriages weren't so easy to get out of, maybe people would think twice about getting into them.
I disagree 500% with this. The LAST thing I want is a court flooded with people trying to prove fault. A marriage that someone does not want to be in is of no use to anyone.
IMO, people are asked to make decisions that will affect the rest of thier lives during thier early adulthood. most people dont even know who they are by the time they graduate from college. I mean really. Are we the same at 21 as we are at 31? By the time we know who we are and our parteners know who they are, we have been married for 10 years and have 2 or three kids and a dog and a house.....then what? We wake up and see that this isnt as fufilling as we thought it would be. or this partner isnt who I thought she/he was.
IMO, it should be difficult to get married when you are young. All the items that come up in a divorce should be discussed prior to reciving a marriage license. Young people should be asked the hard questions on parenting, readiness for monogomy...... Prove you are ready for marriage.
If it is difficult to get married, then people, IMO, would be less likley to give up on a marriage, and find a way to make it work.
What do you think?
I think we need to somehow create a culture of arranged or quasi arranged marriages.
A few thousand years ago, many cultures concluded that it was futile to expect people in their 20s to be savvy about picking appropriate partners. Folks in their 20s base their decisions too heavily on love/attraction and not enough on the boring, non-romantic factors (economic stuff, whether they want kids, how to raise kids, lifestyle choices, etc.). By the time people figure out how to pick (and be) good partners (if they ever do), they are usually in their late 20s or 30s. By then, women are getting close to or are past child bearing age. So what we have now is a situation where the smarter people wait to get married but have trouble with fertility. And then we have the generally less smart people (I mean this in terms of emotional intelligence, not IQ) who either have kids of wedlock, or get married early and end up divorced. The kids, typically don't get the stability and guidance they need from their divorced or never married parents, so they tend to repeat the cycle.
Arranged marriage (not the same as forced marriage) comes with its own set of trade offs but fixes a lot of the above problems.
Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the popular book "Eat, Pray, Love" did another book on marriage called Committed where she found that the divorce rate starts rising immediately as soon as any culture adopts love based marriage:
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Probably not a bad idea to require a little counseling
