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Maybe I'm destined to be a negligent parent, but I don't see anything wrong with Dad watching the Masters. I watched it with my dad every year, and I hated watching golf. It is a big southern tradition, for a lot of people watching it on TV is the next best thing to being there.
What seems peculiar to me is that he needed to call you to resolve the situation. Surely dad and son could've worked through this problem themselves.
I guess not.
If there is any kind of confliction going on, he will call me.
He is the "funtime Dad." So, when something like this comes up, neither one of them know how to handle it. They are both spoiled.
My ex husband is a golfer. Golf used to always seem to come first...well, besides money, and then me, when we were married.
Today, he calls and is acting like a child himself, telling me that our son is upset with him, because he is watching the Masters on TV, and not spending time with him.
He said," I told him that the Masters was on this weekend, and I was going to watch it." He said that our son was not occupying himself today, like he sometimes does, and he thought he was doing it on purpose, so he could not watch it.
I told him to just bring him home. He did, and our son was very upset, and even crying. I shouldn`t have said this, but it just came out. I said, "Son, you don`t come between your Dad`s golf now.
My husband has went the extra mile to spend time with him, since he was so upset, by playing football, video games, and making him laugh.
I guess he will see how it is, as he grows up. Sad, really.
He only see`s the boy every other weekend, anyway.
I see his behavior as a form of emotional avoidance.. of any kind, especially with those whom he's closest to but doesn't know how to connect or at least keeps at a very far distance.
Some people are like that. They don't know how to deal with their inner emotions so they tune out, they tune out to the TV, they tune out to sports, they tune out to making money.. it's like a coping mechanism where they avoid all forms of emotional contact for what's primarily physical or mentally strenuous activities. Or maybe it's their hormones saying they need to peace out for a second and take some time off?
Your approach at least worked, and maybe you can encourage your husband to spend more time with your son as in including you too? Where are you in the equation? He's doing a great job with physical engagement through sports. He seems like he could work on spending more quality time with you too. That way your son can see how mom and dad's relationship can make him feel safe and secure. Because if you two are distant, he'll still develop distorted ways of coping with emotions like his dad probably does? Or like most people do when they avoid emotional intimacy?
Well, it's not just golf. It's hunting, fishing, volunteering, scrapbooking, aerobics, and a hundred other avocations. If there's a hobby, there's a way to go overboard with it.
Hey, hobbies and interests are great. They help make us more interesting people. They give us dimension and texture. But they shouldn't rule your life and they definitely shouldn't get in the way of the people you love.
I'm a passionate college football fan. But I don't spend all Saturday watching, from 9 a.m. to midnight. I watch my favorite team's game that Saturday, then turn it off. Two or three times a year, I make a pilgrimage to watch it in person. But there are other things in life that need my attention. I like baseball a great deal, too. I'll watch a game a week. But I think the saddest thing possible are those guys who camp out in front of the idiot box every night to watch whatever. Life is just way too rich for that.
So I think your ex needs to gain a sense of proportion about matters. Not sure how you're going to tell him.
is he not capable of watching tv and playing a bored game at the same time?
i do it all of the time my nieces and nephew and i am not even a parent
To me, the definition of Multitasking is "Doing several things at once and not doing any of them very well."
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