WHy do men only get blasted for treating women like objects?? (lover, attractiveness)
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Well no matter what type of relation we're looking for, an employer, a friend, a personal trainer or a wife, we will have certain objectives with that relation. It is not weird to associate the objectives we aim to reach with the person we're aspiring to reach those objectives with.
Hence women often become sexual objects as a result of the objective in the relation being sex.
Meanwhile men often become success-oriented objects as a result of the objective in the relation being social status, stability, building/acquiring a nest/family, all of which are closely tied to economic and status related success.
Plus demands,ive heard excuses to why women want certian things.like khey need good looking tall guys so theyre kids are good looking and tall,or they need men with money becasue they want men who are motivated and good providers..
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That's left over from a bygone era, though. Old thinking patterns die hard. And many, many women don't think that way, these days, because stye have their own professional degrees and the pay and careers those jobs enable. It's a dying mode of thought, that you're citing, and it's very much on the way out. However, even women who work and earn well will want a man who isn't a slouch. Even if the couple later opts for him to be a SAHD, he needs to be a self-motivated SAHD. The lazy guys end up goofing off at home, and not getting the tasks done, that need doing. They treat it like a permanent vacation. So yeah, women do at least look for men who are reliable and well-motivated.
most of them that whine about being wanted for their 'money,' are broke as a joke anyways. A small handful of them ever ascertain that level of vast wealth, now it's all of them? LOL.
LOL...another resurrected thread. I wonder, since our OP is for a change still an active poster, if he still feels this way about things?
JBT, care to enlighten us?
I have no issue with someone liking whatever they like and wanting whatever they want. When it comes to most men in the world, I am not very invested in their opinions so I don't care.
When it comes to my partners...the feeling I have on the subject of "objectification" is simply that I will change and get older, and I do sometimes fear that a man's enjoyment of a woman is so affixed to her looking "hot" (which means, youthful) that his love and passion for me will fade no matter how well I try to take care of myself, because inevitably I won't look "young" anymore. Even with a partner who is a lot older than me, I am afraid of this. He once expressed something to the effect that all men are essentially attracted to women who look like teenagers, just not all men will admit it. Well thanks. The part that upsets me is that I'd much rather be on my own than with someone who doesn't really want me. I don't want to be "just better than nothing/no one." But somehow despite men losing desire and interest for a wife or longterm partner, they still want to keep control of her, keep the relationship intact and going, they don't want to let go.
What I am saying, is that with a partner I love, I see all of his layers and I love them. I don't care that my guy is aging, I don't care that he doesn't make as much money as I do, I care about all the amazing stuff that makes him the person he is, and I care about how he makes me feel, which is generally amazing. It hurts when I don't believe that a man can do that with a woman. That he sees T&A and that's about it, or it's more important and always will be, than WHO I am. Because the "object factor" will change over time no matter what. It hits one of my worse triggers, which is the idea that I can never be what someone wants me to be, someone who is supposed to love me and care for me in a genuine way, sooner or later I will let them down, I'll be a disappointment, and whether they stay or go, they won't continue to love me. But I know that's not any man's fault, except maybe my Father...but also my Mother, since it is childhood baggage. Knowing this, I try very hard to set it aside. But letting myself trust someone, that they actually do love me, the real me, that is an act of faith and trust that is hard to do. And all of the societal "objectification" stuff does not really help.
That's left over from a bygone era, though. Old thinking patterns die hard. And many, many women don't think that way, these days, because stye have their own professional degrees and the pay and careers those jobs enable. It's a dying mode of thought, that you're citing, and it's very much on the way out. However, even women who work and earn well will want a man who isn't a slouch. Even if the couple later opts for him to be a SAHD, he needs to be a self-motivated SAHD. The lazy guys end up goofing off at home, and not getting the tasks done, that need doing. They treat it like a permanent vacation. So yeah, women do at least look for men who are reliable and well-motivated.
The circumstances that led to the mindset are on the way out, women are not only able to financially succeed on their own, by some metrics and in some demographics they outearn men.
However I believe I have read studies/polls/articles that indicate that, as a general trend, women still tend to date and marry “up.” That on average, women are less willing to have a partner who is “lower” (subjectively) in terms of accomplishment, finances, or social class than men.
I think very wealthy people up at the top of society create double standards to cause war and division between different groups. The good news is that you can blame those people so women per se aren't the ones that should be blamed.
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