WHy do men only get blasted for treating women like objects?? (marry, single)

[Redisca]

Originally Posted by nrfitchett4

so should men only date women who are successful then???

If that's their preference, yes. And I personally always preferred men who value accomplishment (and when I say "accomplishment", I'm not talking about coffee-making or banging out a 3rd-grade piano sonatina) and who appreciate women that can stand on their own two feet and not just be an accessory.

Originally Posted by nrfitchett4

I mean, I shouldn't have to support a woman should I?

*Shrug* No, you shouldn't. In fact, it would make no sense for someone successful to date someone who isn't.

[Kerowyn]

Originally Posted by nrfitchett4

so should men only date women who are successful then??? I mean, I shouldn't have to support a woman should I?

A man shouldn't "have to" support a women. Yet in todays society with the difference in standard pay between the sexes still... it is hard to completely agree 100%.

I think if the military would change part of its thinking on marriage then it will change in the civilian bracket as well. When I married ( way back when ) I found out the hard way I became a non-person person with the military. I never used my name or SS# it was always hubby's name and his SS#. Half the time No one knew my first name. I know several other civilian companies who work the same way.

I would suggest that one should date someone who is happy with career and thier own life. Define success in personal stature and not $$. If they can support their self without you and be happy in life and career. You might have a good start. If they can't support themself and are unhappy... use caution.

All in all it depend on the man. Depends on the lady. Depends on what they both want out of life, love and marriage. If they want the 50's Leave it to Beaver life... who to say nay. If they want the 80's Cosby Show life.. more power to them. The key is doing it together with equal goals, communication and agreement on the financial lifestyle.

[miu]

Originally Posted by JBT1980

I see people alway compalin theres men out there who treat women like objects,but by the fact i see soem women that are interested in how muchs a man makes,what he drives,how tall he is so her kids could be tall and have good genes isnt it safe to say just as many women treat men like theyre objects as it is the other way around??

Both of us use each other but it seems as if only men get ripped for it..

I want to be treated as an equal human being. I don't want a man that only wants the company of a woman for sex.

As to the other stuff, if what a woman wants ultimately is a husband and to have kids with them, of course it's a smart thing to make sure that he also wants marriage and kids, and he's able to support a family. Even without having kids, I know that I would want to make sure that my potential boyfriend is sensible with his money and would want to save up for buying a house (not a condo). Why? Because when we are old, I'd rather be in a house that we own together than renting an apartment and with no money or assets to retire on. And that's why I wouldn't want to date a guy that isn't good at making it and saving it. If married, I don't want to live paycheck to paycheck with him throwing his money away on electronic gadgets and foolish car mods.

And if someone wants kids, who wouldn't want to have good looking children? Who would want puny ugly kids that get beaten up in the schoolyard? As to tall, I don't care since I never wear high heels. My boyfriend happens to be very tall (6'-5"), but that's just the way it happened and his height wasn't on my list of important traits to have.

I need a smart intellectual man so that I don't get bored talking with him. So no dummies for me.

I want my man to live a long and healthy life with me, so no cigarette smokers or party animals.

[funymann]

Originally Posted by Kerowyn

they weren't easy lessons to learn... lots of tears, aches, pains, loss, gut wrenching sorrow all mixed with laughter and joy went into to those lessons. I am sure life has plenty more for me to learn.

*********

One thing I used to think I had a invisible sign over my head "now accepting application only ahles need to apply." I am sure that some men/guys see it that way as well (for the ladies they might attract). I know what some of my friends (including myself) have put men through over the years and visa versa.

We live in a 5D world as far as I can tell: your typical 3Ds and add in the world of senses (sight, smell etc.) and the final being emotional or intangible. So looking at the world and relationship with a single motive or theory is not so logical for me.

Sure I can say “All Blondes are dumb and my sister put the blonde in the blonde jokes.” But the reality is she is a top highly praised worker at her job winning awards. So she can’t be all that dumb.

I guess it is the many sides of one coin look into life. Granted I have met more jerks in my life who like to lump all women into certain categories just to make life easier on themselves then to see each of us as individuals with some similarities. My last boyfriend was different from my husband but has several comparable traits to which I decided those traits I didn’t care for and drove me nuts! So he is ex-boyfriend now.

As to why only men get blasted for treating women as objects…. I would think that it is in the WAY or the how they do the action. Most women like being objects if the treatment is done in a suave, nice, polite complimentary way. But do it in a way of an ogre, over eager, numbskull and we will bash you for your actions ~ plain and simple. I know I have taken out a few knees in my time and made sure the fellow lost a few feet in personal stature when I did it.

I've done that.

You have to admit most women have alot of similar traits and men have very similar traits. It's just the make up. I have since tried to say "some" women in my posts. It clears me of your complaint.

Sorry about all your pain. I have been there, done that too. Relationships can suck! Oh well. I would rather be on the outside looking in. It's safer and you don't have to deal with the drama. Kinda like watching in on a couple arguing and then just laughing at it from a distance. I don't want to be in that situation. I am though and I am miserable.

I went to the mother-in-laws and there was a couple who lived next door on the lake. I was out by the lake watching her neighbors. He was burning some sticks he was raking up. She comes out and yells at him for leaving the truck windows down saying there is smoke in the truck. Then talking down to him like he is stupid. He ignored her and continued to sit by the fire talking on his cell phone. The smoke was blowing away from the truck anyways. So she backs the truck up and rolls up the windows. To my surprise she starts singing a song on the way back up to the house. The woman was in rage two seconds ago. I don't get it sometimes. I just laughed outloud. I looked at my 9 year old who was fishing. He looked at me and we both busted out laughing. Kinda like, "She's crazy!"

[orangeapple]

This board rips into women a lot more than men. Women as a whole will get criticized by both men & women here, but rarely do you see men criticizing their own.

[maddog1]

being female, I hate to say it, but the poster is probably right. The other day a girlfriend of mine made a comment about a guys package size and I found it rather disgusting. Do you think some men find it disgusting when a friend points out the size of a woman't chest? DOes he laugh or say "oh yeah, that's hot" just to go along but really he's thinking what a vulgar pig his friend is? Id have to think women are a little more offended (I wasn't offended, exactally, but I can be uptight and I thought it was a gross comment to make.) by these comments. But men get called out on it more.

[maddog1]

objects, I thought OP meant se*x objects............... (men objectifying women)

[Kerowyn]

Originally Posted by maddog1

being female, I hate to say it, but the poster is probably right. The other day a girlfriend of mine made a comment about a guys package size and I found it rather disgusting. Do you think some men find it disgusting when a friend points out the size of a woman't chest? DOes he laugh or say "oh yeah, that's hot" just to go along but really he's thinking what a vulgar pig his friend is? Id have to think women are a little more offended (I wasn't offended, exactally, but I can be uptight and I thought it was a gross comment to make.) by these comments. But men get called out on it more.

from another woman who had friends that did that same thing ~ I just thought lesser of that friend more so for being so vocal about it. Had one friend who was a bit of a potty mouth about openly talking about a man’s gifts. Then there was another who with great finesse always grinned and whispered “gorgeous at 10 o’clock”. Hanging out with her I learned how to tell time on my invisible air clock really fast.

********

Maybe part of the problem with objectifying the opposite sex it has more to do with actions and to what degree, then it does with the act of being objectified?

I will omit personally that I take notice of certain men. Depends on my moods on what type or look of man I notice. One day it could be the semi scruffy Johnny Depp look other it is the long hair rocker look, clean cut short hair well dressed businessman and even still the off the normal course older but still ‘got it’ look. (For those who are unsure of that one it’s the Alan Rickman, Sam Elliot, Richard Harris, Peter O’ Toole). Ok lets face it I may not find all men equal but there is something some men have about themselves that I am attracted too even I haven’t figure out what that is. I even look at the physicality aspect to size a man up. Not all the time or even everyday just once in a while.

Maybe men get slammed about more often because they do it more often and are more blatant about it?

[Kerowyn]

Originally Posted by maddog1

objects, I thought OP meant se*x objects............... (men objectifying women)

we been hitting most all 'types' of objects. I think the sx object is most certainly part of this chat we are all having.

[moonshadow]

Originally Posted by Kerowyn

...Maybe men get slammed about more often because they do it more often and are more blatant about it?

**nods**

Yep, I reckon that's it.