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I would probably consider myself as asexual. I grew up as a teenager never wanting to date and I always told myself sex is something to wait for until marriage. Well time passed and over the years dated some women. We would kiss but nothing would happen...nada....I would sooner think of the lastest TV show I seen when kissing....and had no interest at all in going further than that. Some tried to "change me" and I thought I was ready in my 20s and 30s but just did not have an interest. I love to meet people and go out on dates to talk and have a companion to attend movies...talk and
share important life events....but I have absolutely no desire to ever have sex. I once thought I must be gay...but I have no desire to be with a man in that way either. I am 43 now soon 44...and very happy with a good career I like and friends but I have just never had sex and I now know I have no desire to even try. This is me....I dont feel bad about it or that I am missing on something... I cant understand the desire for it...other than having children.
There are those of us for who sex is not the end all and be all of life. There is a LOT more to life than sex. If sex or the possibility of "getting some action" was all that got me up in the morning, I'd kill myself.
Well for a guy sex is on the level of eating. If you don't eat you don't feel good. If a guy doesn't ejaculate all he will think about is sex and he will constantly be getting excited.
Not to mention sex is one of the best stress relievers I know of. Not to mention one of the best self-esteem boosters. After going at it for like 30 minutes with a hot female, you feel like a million bucks afterward! It is an amazing feeling.
I tell ya what, sex sure makes my life happy! lol.
I like sex as much as any other person, but it is not MY chief motivator. Today, I went to the local shopping mall, went to classes, saw the English Premier League results on my laptop, and came home. My motivation for all of these was not sex. I study to better myself, and go to the mall since i like the atmosphere among people.
Sex to me is one of the great pleasures of life, but to me it is not the central end of life.
I pity myself too, sam, so we have that in common. I cry myself to sleep most every night (well, come to think of it, just on the nights I didn't have sex).
I would probably consider myself as asexual. I grew up as a teenager never wanting to date and I always told myself sex is something to wait for until marriage. Well time passed and over the years dated some women. We would kiss but nothing would happen...nada....I would sooner think of the lastest TV show I seen when kissing....and had no interest at all in going further than that. Some tried to "change me" and I thought I was ready in my 20s and 30s but just did not have an interest. I love to meet people and go out on dates to talk and have a companion to attend movies...talk and
share important life events....but I have absolutely no desire to ever have sex. I once thought I must be gay...but I have no desire to be with a man in that way either. I am 43 now soon 44...and very happy with a good career I like and friends but I have just never had sex and I now know I have no desire to even try. This is me....I dont feel bad about it or that I am missing on something... I cant understand the desire for it...other than having children.
Dan, that's really interesting. Have you met other people like yourself? I wonder what percent of people are like this. I'm sure being asexual has its advantages (more to time to focus on other things), but I think I would get lonely if I weren't married and didn't have a child.
I would probably consider myself as asexual. I grew up as a teenager never wanting to date and I always told myself sex is something to wait for until marriage. Well time passed and over the years dated some women. We would kiss but nothing would happen...nada....I would sooner think of the lastest TV show I seen when kissing....and had no interest at all in going further than that. Some tried to "change me" and I thought I was ready in my 20s and 30s but just did not have an interest. I love to meet people and go out on dates to talk and have a companion to attend movies...talk and
share important life events....but I have absolutely no desire to ever have sex. I once thought I must be gay...but I have no desire to be with a man in that way either. I am 43 now soon 44...and very happy with a good career I like and friends but I have just never had sex and I now know I have no desire to even try. This is me....I dont feel bad about it or that I am missing on something... I cant understand the desire for it...other than having children.
well If you haven't had sex i don't think you can really comment on it. You are probably just afraid or something. It is like someone saying they don't like skydiving when they never tried it. For me personally, sex has made a huge boost to my confidence and overall satisfaction with life.
I don't think I've ever met anyone who is truly asexual, but I would like to. That would be just so weird. So much of what motivates people is sex. What motivates people with no desire to have sex? Why get out of the bed in the morning if there isn't at least the possibility of a little action later on? I bet asexual people have awesome hobbies or terrific imaginations or something .... something's got to be driving the forward in life.
I used to know a guy (was in a hiking group with him) who was very good-looking, but as far as we all knew, he didn't date or have any significant other. We all assumed he was a closet gay, and we just didn't ask, because we figured if he wanted to tell us, he would.
Well, one night, on a small group campout, he admitted to us that he was asexual. We were all very curious about this, and he was pretty open about his life.
We were fascinated by how much simpler his life seemed without all the sexual and romantic drama, and I think the general concensus was that he had it easier than the rest of us. To be a human being, especially to be a male, and to have no sex drive seemed very emancipating and freeing.
A couple of the guys in our group said they wished they didn't have their sex drives. They admitted they don't "get" women, don't really "connect" with women, but because they desire them sexually, they feel trapped.
I came away from that camping trip with a newfound sympathy for men. Guys, your sex drives really do control you in many way, and it's kind of sad.
I used to know a guy (was in a hiking group with him) who was very good-looking, but as far as we all knew, he didn't date or have any significant other. We all assumed he was a closet gay, and we just didn't ask, because we figured if he wanted to tell us, he would.
Well, one night, on a small group campout, he admitted to us that he was asexual. We were all very curious about this, and he was pretty open about his life.
We were fascinated by how much simpler his life seemed without all the sexual and romantic drama, and I think the general concensus was that he had it easier than the rest of us. To be a human being, especially to be a male, and to have no sex drive seemed very emancipating and freeing.
A couple of the guys in our group said they wished they didn't have their sex drives. They admitted they don't "get" women, don't really "connect" with women, but because they desire them sexually, they feel trapped.
I came away from that camping trip with a newfound sympathy for men. Guys, your sex drives really do control you in many way, and it's kind of sad.
Tell me about it. My sex drive has forced me to spend over half of my life with a bossy redhead who tells me what to do and never gives me a minute of peace unless I'm doing what she wants. What's worse, she has spawned a little bratty twerp who has taken to boss me around too! And when they don't get their way, they turn on the water works or pull out the old puppy dog eyes until I cave and go back to being thier loyal servant. Man, it sucks! But what can I do? I love sex, you know?
well If you haven't had sex i don't think you can really comment on it. You are probably just afraid or something. It is like someone saying they don't like skydiving when they never tried it. For me personally, sex has made a huge boost to my confidence and overall satisfaction with life.
The desire to have sex is absent. They're not missing out on anything. It's not fear.
Dan, that's really interesting. Have you met other people like yourself? I wonder what percent of people are like this. I'm sure being asexual has its advantages (more to time to focus on other things), but I think I would get lonely if I weren't married and didn't have a child.
No I haven't met anyone like that either...but of course that is one of those things you dont ask either and I dont live in a large metro area. I have never really understood the sexual part of a relationship...like why....it just never occurs to me and I dont think about it. I dont feel like I am missing out on anything....I am perfectly happy and healthy and am not a reclose or anything.
But when guys talk about sex on this forum like some pent up emotion or how they would go stir crazy if they did not do it for a while.... I just dont have those same feeling. In my 20s I went to therapy who told me it was in my head and to think of women when in those situations...really didnt help as when I got into situations when a women expected me to "perform" I was just there thinking about other stuff and bored out of my mind. I had physical stuff checked out and chemical levels checked out and all is normal.
So now I dont go out on "dates" anymore....but enjoy hanging out with friends and co-workers.
Dan
well If you haven't had sex i don't think you can really comment on it. You are probably just afraid or something. It is like someone saying they don't like skydiving when they never tried it. For me personally, sex has made a huge boost to my confidence and overall satisfaction with life.
Hi...see the reply to the other poster above.. but sex is just something I dont think about....I have been to therapy when younger (guy just thought I was anxious and to think about nude women more -- that didnt work as I can look at nude women and men and nothing at all occurs no emotions, or whatever is supposed to occur). I have had my family doctor check me over too and test hormone levels, etc and all good. I am fine and healthy in every way and I like to meet people and enjoy the company of others but the idea of having sex with anyone I meet just doesnt enter my conscience.
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or pull out the old puppy dog eyes until I cave and go back to being thier loyal servant. Man, it sucks! But what can I do? I love sex, you know?
