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Another thought...do not rush out and get a job right now. Since you have not worked in all these years there is no way to know exactly what kind of money you can make. This way, when the judge decides on what YOUR share of support toward your children will be, you will most likely only be assessed 40 hours a week at minimum wage - meaning he will have a much greater percentage portion of child support to be responsible for.
I agree with lovesMountains and others who've said that. It's hard for somebody in your situation to find a job in the best of times and now it's the worst of times!
Quote:
Originally Posted by delong531
I am fully aware that child support is for the kids. I would not use it any other way. That is why I said in my previous post I want to be sure I can pay for everything without relying on the support. Spousal support is not an option, we've been married only 9 years, and you can't get it unless you've been married 10. We're a full 12 months away from 10 years, don't think I can hold out that long. Everything else is 50/50. We don't have much. No savings, might have some equity in the house, I'm not sure what is in the 401k, but I'll get half. As far as debts, we have a large credit card, so I'm sure I'll be getting half of that. The rest of our expenses are utilities/housing expenses, other than a few kids' activities.
I would really try to drag it out until you've been married for 10 years. That way you can secure your spousal support as well as social security. Divorce takes a while anyway. Even in a speedy state like AZ when kids are involved it never takes less than at least 6 months.
Also, delong, don't bet on what he says and promises now. As you know, all is fair in love and war... and this is a war... Even if people are half-as* decent they still watch their best interest and unfortunately your best interest is no longer his...
Don't worry, I'm trying to watch my back as best as I can right now. And no, I won't go the stripper route or the Dr. Phil route. As much as there a little fantasy about someone swooping in and saving the day, in the end I am a realist, and will have to see this through, the crap that it is, and struggle on to find that better place that I hope is at the end.
How do I proceed? My husband and I are about to divorce, because he wants it, not me, but I'm tired of begging him to change his mind. I'm not the love of his life anymore. We have 2 children. We relocated to a new state 2 years ago for his career. I'm a SAHM without a college degree. My entire family lives 800 miles away. That's where I want to be if I'm not here with him. But he doesn't want me anymore. The state we now live is very pro-parent, which means, at his request, something can be filed banning me from moving outside of 100 (may be 150) mile radius. He fully intends to file this. And according to the attorney I consulted, it's impossible to fight. He wants access to his children, this I understand. My problem, I only moved to this state for him. I have no friends, other than those through his work, none that I am close to at all, so there's no help there. I have no family near by. I haven't worked in over 7 years because I've been home with our children. There is no spousal support because we've been married less than 9 years. He fully intents to give me the maximum for child support, but how am I supposed to find a job and a place to live (there's no way I can keep this house we live in) to support my children? I don't want to live in a rat-trap, but what kind of job will I find that I don't end up on welfare? And, I will be completely alone, except for my children, whom I love dearly. How do I do this? How do I work my butt off to provide for them and still give them the same quality of life they have now? How do I give up everything I've worked so hard for, how do I give up the man I've built my life around?
guys like this is the reasons we have alomony laws and child support and no sympathy from the judge. what a jerk!!! I see this guiy is really selfish so if I were you i would put on my phukum skirt and go out and get a real man.
guys like this is the reasons we have alomony laws and child support and no sympathy from the judge. what a jerk!!! I see this guiy is really selfish so if I were you i would put on my phukum skirt and go out and get a real man.
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