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Im fishing for advice before I talk to the attorney, so heres the background:
Worked on bad marriage and things got better summer 2007. So we bought a second property with crappy house in August with the deal to sell the first house and make a large downpayment on the new property. I moved in Oct. stbx didnt. April 2008 I got divorce papers, Oct we went to mediation and agreed I get new property and 10 acres I bought years ago with a combined debt of 140,000. He didnt pay anything on these properties and never lived there. I also get 1/2 of the first house that I paid over 90% of the mortgage on and lived there 10 yrs. Instead of waiting for the house to sell in a bad market I agreed to 37,500 which is 1/2 of an 1999 apraisal. It is paid for.
There were 2 small issues to work out. One being 1/2 his 401K that he withdrew and spent after we split. He wanted to drop both issues, but made an extravgant lie about the 401K that made me mad and I said no. Basically, I wanted a date and insurance that I get the $ from the first house and I would back off the 401K. That was March 2009 and according to the agreement, I should already have my $. I finially had to contact my att. because they are dragging this out.
Ok, heres the deal: I got a letter from att. saying the stbx could give me 30,000 immedately and be done with all this. Im thinking screw that. I think he is already getting a good deal. Should I take the deal or hump up and demand the entire amount. I really need to refinance my property to get out from under this huge mortgage payment. Refinancing will save me about $400/month.
Get what you are owed. I was about to write everything off when I got my divorce papers until a relative (on his side, not even mine) told me each and every person she knew who went through a divorce and didn't fight for what they were owed regretted it afterwards. Each and every one he told me.
I decided not to make that mistake. That being said, my divorce was no where near as complicated as yours, so whatever you do good luck.
It feels great to know we will stand up for ourselves and not get taken advantage of, but there is much to be said for getting the whole thing over with and moving forward with piece of mind.
Yes you did. Thanks. That is kind of how I feel. Its been over a year and a half so I can wait it out another few months, but Id really like to refinance now while the rates are so low. Its still scary going to court and putting everything in the hands of a judge. I dont know why he just dosent give me my $. He is the one that wanted this.
Yeah I know how you feel. It is scary waiting for the judge's verdict. I'm still not finished with mine and it seems like I can't really plan for anything until the final day comes. Will I have my property, will I have to find somewhere new to live with no settlement, etc. It can be incredibly frustrating!
My ex completely went back on his word even though he initiated everything and has all his hearts desire now. I was going to let it all go until my in-laws said "to hell with that!" and had a sit-down with me telling me what I should do. They changed my mind and I am happy they did.
I am determined to get what I am owed, even if it is just a fraction of it. Like I told my ex- I'll accept no from a judge before I accept no from you!
Upon further reflection, I think you should tell your lawyer "No more Mr. Nice Guy." This is why one should always start with a ballcutter for an attorney.
My ex completely went back on his word even though he initiated everything and has all his hearts desire now
I know the feeling. My stbx tried to go back on the mediation agreement in Oct. and we went to court and the judge said he had to abide by our agreement then, but we had the 2 issues that were not worked out in the mediation. He has been dragging things out since then. If it will be the same judge, Im hoping he will frown on this pussyfooting flip flopping and force him to do what we agreed to NOW.
Yep. I know two women who are going through divorces from their successful, yet philandering husbands. I'm really amazed what these a-holes will pull.
In the very unlikely event that my wife and I ever got divorced, I would hope we would behave like fair adults, not like self-centered children.
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