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It's when you give up that most people usually find someone. Possibly it's because you don't come across as desperate or needy or searching anymore. Also, I think that when people start living for themselves and stop trying to impress others, they seem to grow in independence and self-confidence and that's a huge magnet.
I gave up. This is many years ago. I broke up with my boyfriend because I had had it. For the next three years I got totally involved in my hobbies, didn't date, didn't want to have anything to do with men. You know what they say when you're not looking? Well, that is when I met my husband.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nebulous1
Did you ever realize you really just gave up? When you knew in your heart that you weren't going to find someone?
When year after year went by without meeting anyone who wanted to go beyond telling you that they looked at your photo?
When you knew it wasn't you being picky?
But you realize your age is the big factor? Let's face it, men don't want a 54 year old woman.No way. Not when they can have a 25 year old.
I beg your pardon. I'm 51 and I have no problem getting attention from men. I have noticed the quality of man I get coming on to me has changed since my 40s, mostly for the better. But I think it's all in your attitude, the way you carry yourself, your energy, and how well you take care of yourself. You can look like a super model but have an air of I'm-not-worthy about you that repels the opposite sex. Not saying you do, just saying age doesn't have to hinder. Tried and true. Give yourself an over-haul form the inside out. Reinvent yourself. And hang in there.
People tell me I don't look my age. I have been guessed for being in my 30s and one time, I was told to just stay in college and not to get married young. Boy, that made me happy. Made my day. But men my age don't see me that way. Probably because 99% of them are married.
Wow, based on your profile pic I never would have guessed you're 54. You look great! I don't know why you're having a hard time. Maybe it's your location or where you're hanging out. My mom is almost 70, and still very pretty, and she runs into men that are interested and she's married. But, these guys are also in their >60's. She's into ball room dancing and attends those kinds of events.
Did you ever realize you really just gave up? When you knew in your heart that you weren't going to find someone?
When year after year went by without meeting anyone who wanted to go beyond telling you that they looked at your photo?
When you knew it wasn't you being picky?
But you realize your age is the big factor? Let's face it, men don't want a 54 year old woman. No way. Not when they can have a 25 year old.
A man that is interested in dating/marrying a woman so much younger than him can only mean that they are very insecure about themelves and also very traumatized about getting older themselves. Believe me, you wouldn't want them!
Men do not care so much about a woman's age as her outlook on life. If you are happy, active, easy to get along with, intelligent and interested in life, you will attract someone - and most likely someone who appreciates the fact that you are a little older, more settled, more mature. If you keep telling yourself you are old, too old to find a partner, then you are going to start believing it
Hopefully you have a good network of friends who can assist you in your search. Do not rule out younger men. Get a nice attractive, flattering hair style, buy some new clothes and make up your mind that you are one heck of a good catch. As your friends to set you up with nice guys.
Also, it is up to you to get out there and work on finding someone. Forget about online dating. Start doing some volunteer work where you might meet men. Have you thought about getting interested in things like Sports, NASCAR, golf, and other things that men enjoy? There are tons of special-interest groups out there like metal detecting, geocaching, even hunting and fishing that appeal to men, but women are welcome to attend as well. Grab your local Sunday paper and start scoping out the possibilities.
It's when you give up that most people usually find someone. Possibly it's because you don't come across as desperate or needy or searching anymore. Also, I think that when people start living for themselves and stop trying to impress others, they seem to grow in independence and self-confidence and that's a huge magnet.
You know, I am a very independent person. If I painted myself as a doormat, I apologize.
I really do have a life, I have many interests and hobbies. I don't try to impress others, I don't follow trends, nor am I interested in what society deems as popular. I have never been that kind of a person, and I am not like most women my age.
I have heard that before, if you aren't looking, you meet someone, but I have had years where I didn't look, and I didn't meet anyone either.
I am older, and people my age are married, so when I run into people, they are married.
I really don't "look" to meet people my age. I don't go to local groups or anything, the most I have done is sign up for a dating website online.
So if people find someone when "they aren't looking"....they really were, because they were open to meeting someone. I pretty much keep to myself, and I can't close up anymore than I have to avoid looking.
I pretty much keep to myself when I go to the store and such, and I am looking to meet anyone, so I know I do not come across as needy or desperate.
A man that is interested in dating/marrying a woman so much younger than him can only mean that they are very insecure about themelves and also very traumatized about getting older themselves. Believe me, you wouldn't want them!
Men do not care so much about a woman's age as her outlook on life. If you are happy, active, easy to get along with, intelligent and interested in life, you will attract someone - and most likely someone who appreciates the fact that you are a little older, more settled, more mature. If you keep telling yourself you are old, too old to find a partner, then you are going to start believing it
Hopefully you have a good network of friends who can assist you in your search. Do not rule out younger men. Get a nice attractive, flattering hair style, buy some new clothes and make up your mind that you are one heck of a good catch. As your friends to set you up with nice guys.
Also, it is up to you to get out there and work on finding someone. Forget about online dating. Start doing some volunteer work where you might meet men. Have you thought about getting interested in things like Sports, NASCAR, golf, and other things that men enjoy? There are tons of special-interest groups out there like metal detecting, geocaching, even hunting and fishing that appeal to men, but women are welcome to attend as well. Grab your local Sunday paper and start scoping out the possibilities.
20yrsinBranson
I never thought of myself as old until recently.
When I kept getting responses from dating sites where I was told I was too old, and the guys wanted a woman between 18 and 35 when they were 55.
I don't have a hairstyle, per se, I have naturally curly hair, which could be a turn off to men.
No time for volunteering, I am on call with work every night of the week and weekends.
I did join an astronomy group here in town, but every guy there, and I mean every man, was married. I felt horribly out of place.
I have interests, but not the ones you stated. I have no interest in NASCAR at all.
I am not a hunter or a fisher. I can't see going and just standing there at some place like that alone.
Activities do cost money, and I am trying to keep my expenses down as I am just getting by. Work comes first, then my living expenses.
If a guy wanted to meet me, he would...he would be looking, and I don't see why the women have to go to where the men are. If the men aren't seeking women out, perhaps they don't want to meet them?
It seems so one-sided toward the women having to be the aggressors. How come the men aren't going to where women go and looking for them?
Wow, based on your profile pic I never would have guessed you're 54. You look great! I don't know why you're having a hard time. Maybe it's your location or where you're hanging out. My mom is almost 70, and still very pretty, and she runs into men that are interested and she's married. But, these guys are also in their >60's. She's into ball room dancing and attends those kinds of events.
Hi, thank you for the compliment. I don't really hang out. Besides work, I don't really have time to hang out anywhere, and I don't do bars.
I think it's my age. Most people my age are married.
I am not into dancing, nor could I find time to go. I am on call daily from 3pm until 7am, and 24/7 on weekends. I could meet someone for coffee and bring my scrubs, but I couldn't go dancing. I don't dance, and lessons are something I cannot afford right now.
I don't think I should do something I am not into doing, just to meet a guy.
And even if I went there, I don't think Id be the type to walk up to them and start talking to them. I would assume they are married.
I don't get men who come up to me in public and just talk to me. I guess that goes on all the time. I am pretty carefree, I don't think I come across as a nasty person, and I just wonder why no one takes interest.
Years ago, I tried to meet men by walking up to them and saying hi. I would say most of those ventures were perceived as me trying to get friendly and they thought it was about sex. I would correct that and say I am really JUST saying hello and trying to meet you. Some were married, some were not interested in dating at all. I stopped doing it.
I think it is important to note that a lot of married people tthink dating nowadays is what is was 30 years ago. It's not. To many, jumping in the sack IS dating to them.
When you truly let go, you are free to do anything and are generally a much happier person. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. If it doesn't, who really cares (if you keep things in perspective and know you've got something much better coming to you when this life ends).
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I am not that way...
