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It's when you give up that most people usually find someone. Possibly it's because you don't come across as desperate or needy or searching anymore. Also, I think that when people start living for themselves and stop trying to impress others, they seem to grow in independence and self-confidence and that's a huge magnet.
This is so true. When my first marriage imploded, I was a newly single mom with a toddler and I just decided I was done with relationships. For the next few months, it was all about her (my daughter) when she was with me and all about ME when she was spending time with her dad. During that "me" time, I found the "me" that got set aside for the "us" of marriage. It was during this time that I met my now-husband. At first, I told him to take a hike because I wasn't interested in going down that road again (and he was a friend of my ex), but he was persistent. We have been together for over 11 years now.
When you truly let go, you are free to do anything and are generally a much happier person. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. If it doesn't, who really cares (if you keep things in perspective and know you've got something much better coming to you when this life ends).
Not all of us are religious, so we don't buy into the big carrot at the end of life.
I have this life.
If it's meant to be, it'll happen. What does this mean? Meant to happen? Like astrology or something? How can something be "meant to be"?
This is so true. When my first marriage imploded, I was a newly single mom with a toddler and I just decided I was done with relationships. For the next few months, it was all about her (my daughter) when she was with me and all about ME when she was spending time with her dad. During that "me" time, I found the "me" that got set aside for the "us" of marriage. It was during this time that I met my now-husband. At first, I told him to take a hike because I wasn't interested in going down that road again (and he was a friend of my ex), but he was persistent. We have been together for over 11 years now.
Age makes a difference, it's much easier to meet someone when you are younger than older. Older guys are not looking for relationships. They have their homes, jobs, friends, and are not looking for someone to date. They have been married and don't want to be tied down at this point in life. So you can't compare 30 year olds with 50 year olds...
And why do people think because I can't meet anyone, I don't know myself. I know myself pretty well. I have quite a few interests, I am very independent, I can fix a toilet, I can draw, I am learning guitar, I like to exercise, I like to cook, I have other interests...I think I know myself very well. I know what I want too. Maybe I am a boring dullard and I don't really know it or something?
NO!! I've never given up. However, I've never been one to go on some active hunt for a boyfriend. I've always felt that the right guy would just fall into my life when the time was right. I don't mind periods of being totally single, as I have many other activities to keep me busy. I enjoy my own company immensely!!!
I don't believe in dating sites or services. I would never ask family or friends to help hook me up. I just go about my life business and follow my other life passions.
My philosophy is very Taoist. I don't chase what I desire. I trust life to bring good things into my life on their own timetable.
NO!! I've never given up. However, I've never been one to go on some active hunt for a boyfriend. I've always felt that the right guy would just fall into my life when the time was right. I don't mind periods of being totally single, as I have many other activities to keep me busy. I enjoy my own company immensely!!!
I don't believe in dating sites or services. I would never ask family or friends to help hook me up. I just go about my life business and follow my other life passions.
My philosophy is very Taoist. I don't chase what I desire. I trust life to bring good things into my life on their own timetable.
I felt that way when I was in my thirties too. It is much different as you get older and everyone around you is married. It really does change. Being single in your thirties isn't bad. But after about 45, any event you go to is in couples.
Not all of us are religious, so we don't buy into the big carrot at the end of life.
I have this life.
If it's meant to be, it'll happen. What does this mean? Meant to happen? Like astrology or something? How can something be "meant to be"?
I found this depressing.
I'm sorry your life is so damn depressing. People spend their entire lives pursuing things they may not ever get. Things have a way of working themselves out for those why don't worry. I find it to be one of the most worthless emotions actually. What have you ever gained by being concerned about the fact that you are still single? Just go on and live your life. I'm not here to evangelize anyone. I think this is good advice regardless of your beliefs or lack thereof.
I'm sorry your life is so damn depressing. People spend their entire lives pursuing things they may not ever get. Things have a way of working themselves out for those why don't worry. I find it to be one of the most worthless emotions actually. What have you ever gained by being concerned about the fact that you are still single? Just go on and live your life. I'm not here to evangelize anyone. I think this is good advice regardless of your beliefs or lack thereof.
I do live my life.
Again, because I can't meet anyone doesn't mean I don't have hobbies or interests.
I never spent hours looking to meet anyone, and never "worried" about it, as you described.
But telling someone if something is "meant to happen" is odd. If they get cancer, was that meant to happen too?
I do live my life.
Again, because I can't meet anyone doesn't mean I don't have hobbies or interests.
I never spent hours looking to meet anyone, and never "worried" about it, as you described.
But telling someone if something is "meant to happen" is odd. If they get cancer, was that meant to happen too?
There are tons of things in life we have little to no control over. You can either roll with it, adapt, and keep a positive outlook regardless, or you can let life kick your ass. Happiness is a conscious choice. Things will workout in the end for the best, regardless of what we think the best actually is.
Then maybe I should stop looking. I never did spend a lot of time with it. I wasn't one for singles' groups or stuff like that.
There is nothing to adapt to...I will just accept I will be single for the rest of my life. I guess there are worse things than that by far. It doesn't make me miserable, but I do feel when I die, I will always wonder what it would have been like to have had a man love me, or for me to have loved a man. There is that void, and we can't pretend it isn't there.
I only joined an online dating group. But I am going to take myself off of that and concentrate more on my music and such. Keep even more to myself.
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Did you ever just give up?
