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Location: Pittsburgh but I'm ready to relocate......
727 posts, read 1,891,564 times
Reputation: 403
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I for one do not blame anyone for my down falls but I feel that I'm deeply scarred by my Toxic Parents. My mother is for the most part a sensible and good person. As a child she was the scariest person alive. She never in my life told me she loved me. And I'm going be real,she emotionally scarred me for life. If it came to me and her many boyfriends she would choose her boyfriend and his kids any day. My Dad whom has the ability to be a good person is just the poorest excuse for a man. He never taught me how to be a man and I learned from cousins and Uncles. My dad is the type that tries to buy you. Instead of admitting past wrong doing as a man he'll blame everything on my Mom and vice versa. I love both parents but I'm seriously considering just seperating myself from them. It all came to light yesterday when I when me and my mom were talking about a Run's House episode yesterday and I asked her why she never taught us about drugs and she basically said she didnt need to and that no on taught her when she was a kid and that my father shouldve. I'm so tired of them passing the buck and not excepting responsibilities or admitting their wrongs. I learned everything I know from making mistakes. They should feel lucky that I turned out alright......Whats your advice? Should I seperate myself from them? For the record I'm not even mad at them nor do I not forgive them. I do.........I have to heal some wounds and I dont think its healthy for me to be around the people who made those wounds.
Location: Pittsburgh but I'm ready to relocate......
727 posts, read 1,891,564 times
Reputation: 403
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313
My first question is, how old are you?
Do you mean, separate yourself from them for good, or just put some "distance" between?
33 and I'm not sure what I want to do!! I already had it on my spirit to move out of town......but whatever I do I think I wanna limit the contact that I have with them. I'm thinking talking on the phone with them maybe once a year if that, to make sure everything is right. I'm talking,seeing every few years if that.....I'm so weary!!
Toxic relationships are draining, no matter what the relation. I believe that family should be the last to hurt you, but somehow being family seems to entitle/give them a free pass for blatant lack of respect and betrayal.
I cut my mom off for 3 years at one point. She was a very unhappy and emotionally abusive woman. She has changed and we have a much better relationship now, but she knows I mean business. She is my mother, but I am also her daughter and I deserve respect.
I cut off my sister for good. I am a much better person for it. I don't miss her at all.
If you feel these people are chewing away at your quality of life, go ahead and put some distance between you. Blood doesn't obligate you to tolerate it.
Location: Pittsburgh but I'm ready to relocate......
727 posts, read 1,891,564 times
Reputation: 403
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
Toxic relationships are draining, no matter what the relation. I believe that family should be the last to hurt you, but somehow being family seems to entitle/give them a free pass for blatant lack of respect and betrayal.
I cut my mom off for 3 years at one point. She was a very unhappy and emotionally abusive woman. She has changed and we have a much better relationship now, but she knows I mean business. She is my mother, but I am also her daughter and I deserve respect.
I cut off my sister for good. I am a much better person for it. I don't miss her at all.
If you feel these people are chewing away at your quality of life, go ahead and put some distance between you. Blood doesn't obligate you to tolerate it.
Me and Mom didnt speak for a year at one time but then I came back around her and she changed but now I see that she really is just suppressing her behavior and not really trying to change. Thank you sooooo much sweetie! I'm so drained as we speak.........
Taking a step back and give your self time to think is a good idea, but to cut them out for such a long time i feel could do more harm to them and your self in the long haul.You are 33 years old and as good as you turned out as you put it is a blessing so why shut that part out of your life. Parents are not perfect and it sounds as if they hold a lot of problems between them and unlucky you got stuck with the short end of the stick.As your parents age they will have many regrets i am sure of that and when that day comes and they have not seen you in a while it will hurt them bad do not do to them what they have done to you. Once they pass a way you can not get time back but you can heal your wounds they gave you over time.good luck
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I'm so drained as we speak.........
