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house daddy is a set up for failure. it can work but she has got to be one super woman to override her hard wired beliefs , which are---- a man should be absent from the home, working somewhere and earn more than her. if she cant look up at her man he is a loser. people that cook and clean and child care are inferior beings and objects of contempt. #1 cause of divorce lack of respect for the man, housedaddy, you just opened it up like a 7/11.
I know a few SAHDs and that really isn't the case for them. And the number one reason for divorce is money not parenting issues. It can be argued that money is the reason for a SAHD situation since when it generally happens it's because the wife makes more money but I don't believe it's tied to lack of respect for the man. I don't have kids, but if I would have had children my husband would have stayed home with them because I made more than he did. I wouldn't have lost respect for him as a SAHD but I sure as hell would have been jealous!
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Originally Posted by floridadreamer
Unfortunately, there are a A LOT of stupid adults as well then. I don't know any adults (perhaps besides the one that wrote this comment, har har) that can bake brownies from scratch unless they are a pastry chef. It just isn't done any more unless that person has A LOT of time, and in this day and age, most don't.
Brownies are very easy to make from scratch and it really doesn't require a pastry chef. I've got nothing against box mixes, but the time difference is negligible. Taste is certainly a matter of opinion but I have a great brownie recipe if you'd like to try it out!
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Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948
men dont have to be a housedaddy to lose the respect of a woman, but the topic is housedaddy.
as to contempt of those that provide service, per gloria steinem yes those that care for the home are held in contempt.
its part of our worship of the almighty dollar isnt it?
its genderless.
we measure worth by W-2 statements, it is most unfair no?
Unfair? Perhaps, but in terms of this discussion I think it often comes down to what is necessary over "worship of the almighty dollar." Like it or not, we all have bills that need paid. It takes money to raise a family, even if you forgo the extras, someone has to work and in some cases the decision is based on finances rather than gender (or even preference).
In terms of how society views those that make less, I'd agree with you somewhat since we do put more worth on jobs generate more income (which is often why they generate more income). That's true for any job and childcare is not an exception. However, every SAH parent I know is motivated by the intrinsic rewards of being there with their children as that becomes their "pay." What dollar value could be assigned to watching your child take their first steps? Hearing their first word? SAH parents may not get a paycheck but what they get is generally considered more valuable to them.
As a non-parent in society I don't look down on someone who stays home to take care of their kids but I don't think they deserve any medals for it either. I don't think people who work and raise kids are special any more than I think those who stay at home are better parents. You make a choice to have kids and that in turn forces other choices. I don't respect people any more or less because they stay home or not as I firmly believe you can be a good parent either way.
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Originally Posted by TKramar
Thus, men are better suited for physical labor. Men don't get pregnant--do you suppose there's a reason for that? Perhaps because women are more nurturing than men?
Hogwash. Men are just as capable of raising children as women are and there are plenty of men who do it. The parenting style may differ but different doesn't mean inferior.
Mom stays home with the kid. She cooks, cleans and runs errands and in the middle of all of that she plays games, goes to the park and otherwise indulges in childhood.
Dad stays home with the kid. He cooks, cleans and runs errands and in the middle of all of that he "works" around the house. He fixes the leaky faucet, builds some shelves for the living room or changes the oil in the car.
Children are learning in both scenarios but what they learn is quite different. You may be a better artist because Mom encouraged you to scribble on the sidewalk all summer but the kid down the street with the SAHD has been learning to build a car and that's nothing to sneeze at.
We all know how gender roles used to be: The husband works to support his wife and children. The wife stays home and cooks, cleans, and teaches the children. The wife is expected to be one thing and the husband to be another.
Now that society has changed and for most couples the traditional family is no longer realistic, what kind of gender roles do YOU currently practice or would like to practice once your partner comes along?
Do the guys in here have a problem with their wife working and sending the kids to daycare, or does your wife work and you stay home? I'm curious to see how many different ways these gender roles have shifted through the years.
I'm mom and dad in one...one min. im the softy then got to be stern and follow through.
I once had an ex who offered to have me move in with her, quit my career, stay home while she worked and she'd even pay my child support. There was no way I could go along with that arrangement. I do not want to loaf around while my S.O. picks up the tab. Eventually that comes into play in an argument, I do not want to be a kept man, especially because of finances. As it is now, I do everything myself; my own cooking, laundry, dishes, shopping, trash, and other things that need fixing or attention around the house. I'm the one who helps my daughter with her homework and attends teacher/parent meetings. I put in a 45 hour week, then come home and I'm on the go until about 8PM. It's like having a roommate instead of a spouse, and this was long before things went south between us. At least when I'm on my own again it won't be too much of a transition, I've already been taking care of myself and then some. So to answer your question, no I don't have an issue with gender roles but being the man I am I couldn't be someone's "wife" and stay home while she worked all day. Nothing against anyone who does but it wouldn't be for me. Also, if one person is working full time, and the other is working part time or staying home, the one who stays home should be doing a bulk of the household chores. It's only fair.
I would want to work even if i did find my so. So work on the house would be 50/50...dude house work sucks..its easier when two do it.
For every kid who grows up in a household where both parents work and turns out to be a mess, there's another kid who grew up in a similar household and turned out just fine. Likewise, not every kid who grew up in a home with a stay-at-home mom turns out great.
Since you're so concerned about how kids are raised, imagine what message it would send to young girls that they can't pursue careers, that they're not entitled to the same opportunities as boys, and that "their place" is in the home. I don't have kids, but if I had a daughter, I would be horrified for her to grow up thinking she's not equal to boys or deserving of the same things. There are plenty of mothers out there who are good role models for their kids. They show that you can have the career AND be a good mother too. I think that's a better message to send to your kids than to tell them they have to forgo a career if they want kids. That just breeds resentment cause then you look at your kids and see the thing that kept you from pursuing your other dreams.
IMO, the real problem with parenting these days isn't the dual-income household. It's that too many parents just don't want to parent. They dump their kids off at school expecting the teachers to do all the work of educating, but they never take an active role in their own children's education. They pick up fast food instead of cooking healthy food which is why so many kids these days are fat and diabetic. They buy their kids iPhones, PlayStations, and TVs to get them to shut up instead of actually daring to say NO. I grew up in a dual-income household. If I asked for McDonald's or pizza, my parents said NO. If I asked for a TV in my bedroom, my parents said NO. If I was having trouble with my homework, my parents would turn off the TV and come help me. If I my grades were slipping, they wouldn't call the school to complain. And our family ate dinner at the dinner table together. Too many parents today just don't want to be bothered with this sort of thing. And that has nothing to do with the mother working.
My I ask you a question? Why the hell are you single? lol
My I ask you a question? Why the hell are you single? lol
I want to know, too! Why is a catch like yourself single, and a catch like myself single...
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