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Indeed, cheers to you. However, you are a terrible human being. You're obligated to only date single parents haven't you heard?
It's my choice and my life. You're not involved so what's the problem here? Just because I have a vagina and a uterus doesn't mean I HAVE to reproduce..
It's my choice and my life. You're not involved so what's the problem here? Just because I have a vagina and a uterus doesn't mean I HAVE to reproduce..
I am in my 50s and I wouldn't get involved with a man with grown children.
Problems with stepchildren do not necessarily improve as they get older. Sometimes they get worse. Many people with grown stepkids still have to deal with disrespect all the time, or adult children who cannot make it financially on their own and come back home to live with their parents.
My best friend has had her husband's two grown kids living with them since 2009--and one of them is divorced and has a child of her own. Her stepkids haven't been able to find jobs, and no longer receive unemployment. So they spend most days idle, while my friend works 10 hours a day at a stressful job. They disrespect her all the time, won't help around the house without an argument, leave messes for others to clean up, waste electricity, gasoline and other things that she has to work to pay for--yet anytime she says anything about it, she's made out to be the bad guy. The behavior of the stepkids also set a bad example for the 12 year old she has with her husband.
She knows enough not to butt in to her stepkids' lives too often. The few times that she does say anything, her husband and stepkids tell her to stay out of things because she's not their mother, even though it's her house. Her husband acknowleges their disrespect, but he is unable to control them because they are adults; yet he doesn't want to put them out because he doesn't want to see his kids out on the street.The kids can't move in with their mother because she lives in an area with few job opportunities, and has a tiny apartment in which she lives with another child who is still in college, and doesn't have room for the older two.
My friend's husband's income goes to supporting his children and grandchild (because the child support isn't enough), including the one living with the mother. Thus, she pays the mortgage and most of the bills, yet she can't even enjoy her own house because she stays away from the constant drama in her house by holing up in her bedroom most of the time.
Usually the probability that stepkids will return home to live with their parents is small. But with the current economic situation of our country, this has become all too common. Problems with stepkids just get bigger as the kids get older.
It is very difficult to be a stepparent for children of any age. I prefer to keep those stresses out of my life.
Hold up.
Your friend is paying bills in her own house, working hard to raise her child with her husband, and she can't enforce rules in her own home where she is paying the mortgage? This post read like a horror flick.
I am not making light of her pain, and God knows I would not trivialize her pain and disappointment for a cheap laugh, however, is a major red flag. Whenever I read a man saying his kids are different in the hopes of convincing me as a divorced childfree woman that he's worth the time and effort, your friend's scenario is the worst case scenario I've come up with when I read the words, "my kids are first in his life", I tell them no thank you based on what is being played out sadly in your friends household. I could see myself cursing them out and kicking them out because I will not allow step children to disrespect me in my own home. And my child is seeing this treatment as well, no matter how nuanced? No way.
Truly, I feel for your friend being so disrespected by her step kids. This is why I balk at single and divorced daddies declaring their precious kids come first. If that's the case, stay single because there isn't that much love in the world for me to endure abuse like that from daddy's "little angels" because he's telling me to keep out of parental duties. In my own house? They're all out of their damm minds!!!!
You see, this is why I will be ALONE in PEACE and happy well into my old age before I ever allow a step child to ever disrespect me in my own damm house, period. For your friend's husband not defend her is absolutely ludicrous. There is no amount of guilt tripping in the world that will ever change my mind on dating divorced dads. All kids are not well behaved and respectful unless parents instill that from the start. It sounds like your friend is sadly suffering from her husband truly PUTS HiS KIDS FIRST . I'm not the one and never will be. The man of my dreams will not allow his children to disrespect his own wife period. There are not strong boundaries and it's not too late for your friend to start enforcing them.
Like you, I'm opting out of marrying divorced daddies no matter how old the kids are because I don't need the stresses in my life either. In my 20's, I dated divorced dads and didn't experience anything like that, and I never will in my early 40's.
Your friend is paying bills in her own house, working hard to raise her child with her husband, and she can't enforce rules in her own home where she is paying the mortgage? This post read like a horror flick.
I am not making light of her pain, and God knows I would not trivialize her pain and disappointment for a cheap laugh, however, is a major red flag. Whenever I read a man saying his kids are different in the hopes of convincing me as a divorced childfree woman that he's worth the time and effort, your friend's scenario is the worst case scenario I've come up with when I read the words, "my kids are first in his life", I tell them no thank you based on what is being played out sadly in your friends household. I could see myself cursing them out and kicking them out because I will not allow step children to disrespect me in my own home. And my child is seeing this treatment as well, no matter how nuanced? No way.
Truly, I feel for your friend being so disrespected by her step kids. This is why I balk at single and divorced daddies declaring their precious kids come first. If that's the case, stay single because there isn't that much love in the world for me to endure abuse like that from daddy's "little angels" because he's telling me to keep out of parental duties. In my own house? They're all out of their damm minds!!!!
You see, this is why I will be ALONE in PEACE and happy well into my old age before I ever allow a step child to ever disrespect me in my own damm house, period. For your friend's husband not defend her is absolutely ludicrous. There is no amount of guilt tripping in the world that will ever change my mind on dating divorced dads. All kids are not well behaved and respectful unless parents instill that from the start. It sounds like your friend is sadly suffering from her husband truly PUTS HiS KIDS FIRST . I'm not the one and never will be. The man of my dreams will not allow his children to disrespect his own wife period. There are not strong boundaries and it's not too late for your friend to start enforcing them.
Like you, I'm opting out of marrying divorced daddies no matter how old the kids are because I don't need the stresses in my life either. In my 20's, I dated divorced dads and didn't experience anything like that, and I never will in my early 40's.
I feel like you do, and some of these stories are even worse than some I have heard. I have experienced the psycho ex who refused to work so she went after the ex for more money. That was a nightmare.
When I did online dating my profile stated I was only open to childless men and so many of the dads sent me nasty messages and one even called me a murderer. Yet many of these men even stated their kids came first and they were the love of their light. Yes your kids should come first but when dealing with dating people without kids will expect to come first.
Awhile back when I was defending my no dating dads stance I found some horrific stories from my state of Illinois. Basically that if a childless person marries a parent they might have to support the kids or the ex and that Illinois is introducing several bills that will make it easier for step parents to pay child support in cases of divorce and other things like this. I would be horrified being forced to support a family not my own.
I'll explain why I don't want to date women with children:
1. I am an only child and was raised by a single mother. I often complained to my mom about her relationships and the impact of them on our life and mine. I hated the experience of meeting various men over the years -- or becoming attached to someone and they were no longer around. So, I don't what to be "that guy" in a child's life, because I understand the impact, issues, etc.
2. I simply don't want to deal with another man's child
3. I'm just weird about women with children
However, I have been attracted to/interested in women with children before, but it never graduated to another level.
I don't mind kids, its dumb adults with limited reading comprehension that I worry about.
I will say this, it's a BIG double standard for women, so if you voted NO kids, then you are a hypocrite because every woman that I have met with kids demands that they be accepted as a package deal and that is ok, but then I see women that have no kids that refuse to date single dads way more than I see guys not wanting to date single moms.
I don't mind kids, its dumb adults with limited reading comprehension that I worry about.
I will say this, it's a BIG double standard for women, so if you voted NO kids, then you are a hypocrite because every woman that I have met with kids demands that they be accepted as a package deal and that is ok, but then I see women that have no kids that refuse to date single dads way more than I see guys not wanting to date single moms.
I suspect the reason why is because in some cases the dad is no longer involved with the single mom, whereas the mom is still involved in most cases when it comes to dads. However I don't think it is hypocritical to avoid parents if one is childless, but when one has kids and only dates childless that is weird to me.
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tthis post broke me out in a cold sweat
