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I have been on two dates with this guy I used to know in school. We got back in touch recently and have REALLY hit it off. We are both in our early 30s, never married, no kids. Even though we've only been on two dates it seems obvious to both of us we were made for each other!
Everything is perfect. We click perfectly on ALL levels. We have so much in common, so much to talk about, same sense of humor, etc. I never got along so well with anyone before. And both of us are kind of "weird" so it's not often we meet people we really click with. It just seems we were made for each other. We are perfect together. In all the years I have dated this has never happened to me before where someone fit so perfectly.
Thing is, he lives in New York and I'm about to go abroad for 8 months.
But it seems he is strongly hinting he wants me to join him in New York. He hasn't come right out and said it, but he has said some jokey things along those lines. For instance, he said "Instead of moving abroad you should have moved to New York." He also seems jealous like I might meet another guy and he told me to tell him if I do, and to tell him if I decide to come home early.
He also said he is confused because he wants me to know he is really interested in me, but at the same time he said he is afraid of freaking me out or seeming too eager, since we've only hung out twice.
I'm more than willing to move to NY to be with him, to give it a shot, see how things work out. My life is uprooted right now. I've got nothing to lose. I already quit my old job, I'm putting me house up for rent, etc. Nothing is tying me down where I am. But also scared to tell him that, scared he might freak out. But I know he's feeling the same way! What should I do? Thanks!
yoyogirl, how much more of a cosmic nudge do you need??? You have nothing to lose and maybe everything to gain by giving it a shot! Go with your gut on this one, and best of luck!
Never change your plans for a man. Go travel, you may never get another chance. If he is your soul mate, he'll be there when you return. Enjoy yourself, find yourself, DO NOT cancel your plans.
I don't agree - she isn't changing her plans for a man - she is changing them for herself and the chance at a lifetime with the man she believes she is meant to be with.
I can promise you this, in life, timing is everything. Eight months could in fact make a difference.
Is this a round-the-world trip? Does your new man like to travel? Or are you going abroad to live in one place for awhile and go to school? Or what? The thing is, it's so rare that we ever have an opportunity to travel for 8 months straight, and once you get coupled up and settled down, those opportunities will become even more rare and you'll be married with children wondering what would have happened if. . . And if he's the real thing, he will wait for you. And he could come join you for some portion of your trip, and if it's the real thing you won't be going out with guys while traveling anyway. The thing about extended travel is that real life goes on even as you travel--I should know--I traveled around the world for 11 months and go back just a couple of years ago. Also, I took my kids, because life doesn't stop when you travel and I can't imagine wanting to do something so wonderful and not share it with my kids. Another thought--if you really like to travel and your new man doesn't, there's a red flag right there, unless he's secure enough to let you go without him should you two get married. But, here's another thing--I think you should get your own place in NYC, if you decide to move there after the trip. It really is too soon to be moving in with him.
yoyogirl, how much more of a cosmic nudge do you need??? You have nothing to lose and maybe everything to gain by giving it a shot! Go with your gut on this one, and best of luck!
^^^ I agree with this. In addition to what Loves said about timing being everything. . .
I don't agree - she isn't changing her plans for a man - she is changing them for herself and the chance at a lifetime with the man she believes she is meant to be with.
I can promise you this, in life, timing is everything. Eight months could in fact make a difference.
After only TWO dates? He NEVER asked her to move there with him he just offered her a place to stay if she VISITS. Uhm, changing your plans with this as the 'offer' is just having a screw loose at this point. Fly out of NY stay with him before you go and have him pick you up at the airport when you get back.
Sometimes your 'soul mate' isn't your mate - often they teach us the hardest lessons in life.
If he were truly your soulmate, you would not be questioning what to do.
Sounds like you could have a good relationship with this person and if you can, it doesn't have to be today. If your feelings cannot survive a few months, how can they survive a lifetime?
What a tough decision! I can understand why you are torn. Only you can make this decision. There are good reasons to stick with your original plans and there are good reasons to pursue this relationship.
I would go abroad and keep in contact with him via FB, email, IM, phone, etc. I'd also suggest to him that perhaps you could meet somewhere during the holiday season. If he's the real deal he'll bend over backwards to make this happen.
You can really get to know a person's character when instant gratification isn't an option. I wish you the best and know how difficult this must be for you. After waiting a lifetime for the "one" to show up I'm sure all you want to do is be with him.
Go with your original plans. I had something like this occur and i regretted not going through with my original plans. You can ask us our opinion all you want but in reality its going to come down to your own decision. One person will say yea go to NY then another will say go abroad. One thing for certain is that you have to live your life for you.... no one else!!!!
I do have an update. We were together last night as well and he was talking about marriage. For instance he said "What if I proposed to you right now?" And said we'll give a shout out to Facebook at the wedding, etc.
He seems insecure about me going on my trip though, like he thinks I'm gonna meet someone else and forget about him.
But we talked about meeting up together while I'm over there. And then if things are still going well, once my trip is over, who knows what could happen.
He also said he believes in "perfect matches" or people who are meant to be together and that he thinks we are. He said he just has a feeling about it.
Anyways I feel like I'm in a movie. Nothing like this has ever happened to me. I'm excited and really curious about what will come out of it.
Thanks again everyone for you advice!
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