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I had a friend whose wife was offered a really fantastic job in another city. He knew how important her career was to her and how heartbroken she would be to miss out on what was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. So he agreed to move. Flash forward about 8 years. They're divorced, they share custody of their kids, her career has taken off, while his has stagnated because he's been living in a city where there aren't many opportunities for someone in his field. He doesn't want to move because he wants his kids to have both parents nearby. But he regrets making the move, feeling like he sacrificed too much for his wife's happiness.
Has this ever happened to you? Have you or your partner ever made a sacrifice for the other only to regret it? What about the flip side where you or your partner refused to give up something and caused the other person to feel resentful?
He only regretted moving there when there was a change in the marriage - which took 8 years and I assume for the most part those 8 years were good. I wish I could take back 3/4 of the things I've done for a partner in my life let alone the last 8 years and it is regrettful but wasn't at the time. So, this is just basic life experience and he needs to move from the regret quickly or he will be very very bitter inside.
I came into a small windfall and could have sold my house and moved out of town and stayed here for a partner....horrible situation and a waste of three years and sure i go back to when I made that decision and kick myself, but it's the curves life throws you and you need to just work with them.
This is my problem with giving women power! You give them an inch and they try to take it a mile. Or hundreds of miles in this case. A woman needs to be there to support her man in his decisions since he historically (rightfully so) has been the main money maker. Fast forward to this case when the woman had a great job opportunity. She obviously was unable to mentally accept the position as main money maker for her family and the relationship went sour. Now, as always when the woman is given power, the man is struggling.
This is my problem with giving women power! You give them an inch and they try to take it a mile. Or hundreds of miles in this case. A woman needs to be there to support her man in his decisions since he historically (rightfully so) has been the main money maker. Fast forward to this case when the woman had a great job opportunity. She obviously was unable to mentally accept the position as main money maker for her family and the relationship went sour. Now, as always when the woman is given power, the man is struggling.
Where in the hell does it say anything about her not being able to manage being the main money maker??? Or about her having power issues? They discussed it before the move and for that matter - no one has even indicated why they got divorced - which could have happened moved or not. Careful with that trigger finger there sport. You sound a bit bitter over something in your own situation.
Has this ever happened to you? Have you or your partner ever made a sacrifice for the other only to regret it? What about the flip side where you or your partner refused to give up something and caused the other person to feel resentful?
I moved to Texas with my BF who had to relocate here for work. I didn't want to come here. We weren't doing well before that. I almost stayed behind but gave him one more chance. Didn't work and I was pretty angry. But I've learned that I can adapt pretty well, so it has worked out well for me.
Where in the hell does it say anything about her not being able to manage being the main money maker??? Or about her having power issues? They discussed it before the move and for that matter - no one has even indicated why they got divorced - which could have happened moved or not. Careful with that trigger finger there sport. You sound a bit bitter over something in your own situation.
Very seldom is life fair. What's good for your career could be a death knell for mine. I've always made these decisions based on who makes the most money and is most capable of supporting the family.
Sure you can make a mistake and you'll pay for it. I've been the follower and the followee and neither position is a bed of roses. You either feel resentment because of the career you gave up or buried by the increased responsibility of carrying most of the load. You just make the best guess and live with the outcome.
I've lived in places I've loved and in places I wish I had never seen. If your relationship is good, your happiness shouldn't rest on what you do for a living. If a relationship breaks up because of a job, chances are it was going to happen anyway.
One reason I'm not married. I have dated mostly professional women, and it eventually comes down to my career or hers. Unless you come to a point wher one wants to stop climbing the ladder, or (usually) have kids. I dated a lawyer in a big firm in Chicago, I would have moved for her as her earning potential was higher. The rest would have to move for me.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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I sacrificed by staying home when I was with my now ex so when we divorced, I had nothing and nothing to start with. It was rough and still is b'c I have nothing saved for my future. He and I both didn't want anyone raising our kids but I felt I needed to do it--go out and work. I didn't for him. Now I regret it more than I can ever say.
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