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You know, it doesn't get much easier, even after having a strong, eighteen-year marriage. Here's a little excerpt from last weekend's episode:
"So what's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Are you sure? You act like something's wrong."
"Nothing's wrong."
"Something I said? Something I did?"
"No. Everything's fine."
"You sure?"
"YES."
"Well, okay."
At this point, I go off to the other room to get my writing done. One hour later...
"I can't believe you sometimes.....BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH."
It doesn't happen often. But when it does, I just drive until I run out of gas. Then I start hitchhiking.
LOL Wow.
Me and her Bro in law- I do call him my bro in law, were up until 2am last night talking about things like this (and I still got up to make my 5:45 wallyball game at the gym), and between what you all said here and his input, yes- I have to make some changes. I'm going to start with the one year dinner.
Women like to feel appreciated, and if they count milestones it usually means they are happy AND assume you are equally happy. I think your on the hook for a nice dinner (not a blow out), maybe somewhere nicer than you usually go.
Whats stinks is if you forget one of the days thats special to her...birthdays, anniversaries, day you got a dog, etc your on the couch.
I'm going to take care of it. Thanks for that outlook.
My bf and I just passed the year mark as well. Neither of us has ever dated anybody for that long (or dated anybody at all, in my case) so we thought it was pretty neat. After a year, you've generally got a decent handle on the person, you know what they're about....and the fact that you haven't abandoned each other after seeing their less than ideal side is something to be glad about, right? We didn't go crazy with gifts and whatnot. Went to an arabic restaurant for turkish coffee, hummus and houkah. Mmmmmm.
I think it's a nice gesture to make...symbolic....
That's true... and that sounds good. I love hummus!!!! I might switch it up like that, for this one.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,012,452 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by IZthe411
A recent thread prompted me to ask this.
Gilfriend and I hit the one mile milestone on 9/1/09. It's not the exact date, but based on our history we both agree on that date.
She hit me up sometime in August and asked me what are my thoughts on going out and celebrating it. I thought not, and the biggest reason I think not is because we are only dating. We do plan to get married and I see it happening. I don't see any significance in celebrating the fact that we've been dating a year.
The funny thing is when she asked me my thoughts on doing something for the one year, and I said "Not likely", she said "I knew that's what you would say". So I'm thinking "Why did you ask if you knew it".
I'm not being mean, but really I don't see anything special about dating for a year. I'm looking on the longer, more permanent goal, that of marriage. A wedding anniversary is much more meaningful.
I am going to do something special, in the near future, just because we've actually made some strides in our relationship the last month. It has nothing to do with the year marker, and I don't want it to feel like my plans are based on a date. It's very coincidental that I felt this way around this year marker, but since I said no to the anniversary celebration, and I feel like keeping my word is more beneficial to our relationship over back pedaling, I'm not putting any emphasis on the 1 year thing.
I know I'll probably get blasted by men and women alike, but I am standing by my feelings on the matter. I like to do things when I am moved to do something, guaranteeing that both parties will enjoy the experience, over someone else's fleeting desire to consider every move we make 'special'.
I agree with this. I never got into dating anniversaries or expected him to. I might mention it in passing but not consider it any further.
Yes you are. One of the cornerstones of a 'Relationship' (which you deny having) is support. If you don't support each other, it won't last. She offers something extremely simple for you to do to make her happy and you wouldn't take the time. Bad decision on your part. As a guy???? I'm with you, wow one whole year together.....not like it's rare. BUT it was important to her. Learn this fast: Women care about how thoughtful you are, and they tell their friends. Their friends (a support group of women who understand women duh!!) tell them how lucky she is, and she agrees. All other things being equal, if one guy buys his girlfriend a car once a year and does nothing else for her, and another guy once a week buys her flowers...or makes her dinner....or cleans up after himself..or does something just for her, then I guarantee the woman with the car will be looking to get out of the relationsip and the other one will not.
Quote:
I know I'm such a jerk. I'm working on it I promise!
Yes you are. One of the cornerstones of a 'Relationship' (which you deny having) is support. If you don't support each other, it won't last. She offers something extremely simple for you to do to make her happy and you wouldn't take the time. Bad decision on your part. As a guy???? I'm with you, wow one whole year together.....not like it's rare. BUT it was important to her. Learn this fast: Women care about how thoughtful you are, and they tell their friends. Their friends (a support group of women who understand women duh!!) tell them how lucky she is, and she agrees. All other things being equal, if one guy buys his girlfriend a car once a year and does nothing else for her, and another guy once a week buys her flowers...or makes her dinner....or cleans up after himself..or does something just for her, then I guarantee the woman with the car will be looking to get out of the relationsip and the other one will not.
Gilfriend and I hit the one mile milestone on 9/1/09. It's not the exact date, but based on our history we both agree on that date.
She hit me up sometime in August and asked me what are my thoughts on going out and celebrating it. I thought not, and the biggest reason I think not is because we are only dating. We do plan to get married and I see it happening. I don't see any significance in celebrating the fact that we've been dating a year.
The funny thing is when she asked me my thoughts on doing something for the one year, and I said "Not likely", she said "I knew that's what you would say". So I'm thinking "Why did you ask if you knew it".
I'm not being mean, but really I don't see anything special about dating for a year. I'm looking on the longer, more permanent goal, that of marriage. A wedding anniversary is much more meaningful.
I am going to do something special, in the near future, just because we've actually made some strides in our relationship the last month. It has nothing to do with the year marker, and I don't want it to feel like my plans are based on a date. It's very coincidental that I felt this way around this year marker, but since I said no to the anniversary celebration, and I feel like keeping my word is more beneficial to our relationship over back pedaling, I'm not putting any emphasis on the 1 year thing.
I know I'll probably get blasted by men and women alike, but I am standing by my feelings on the matter. I like to do things when I am moved to do something, guaranteeing that both parties will enjoy the experience, over someone else's fleeting desire to consider every move we make 'special'.
I'm with you on this one actually so I'm probably going to get blasted too. I would PERSONALLY think nothing of not celebrating a one year dating anniversary because it's... well... celebrating mediocracy (again, for ME, it's not something to get worked up about). You don't have to put an emphasis on one day for your SO to know that you love her (you should be letting her know every day anyway). But if it means something to her, fine, take her out to dinner, say sweet nothings... by her flowers, just so you won't have to catch any grief.
I'm with you on this one actually so I'm probably going to get blasted too. I would PERSONALLY think nothing of not celebrating a one year dating anniversary because it's... well... celebrating mediocracy (again, for ME, it's not something to get worked up about). You don't have to put an emphasis on one day for your SO to know that you love her (you should be letting her know every day anyway). But if it means something to her, fine, take her out to dinner, say sweet nothings... by her flowers, just so you won't have to catch any grief.
Exactly- I would hope she could see the end more than the means. But I guess if I have to do it, to make her happy, I'll do it.
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