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Dont assume anything ask, she has 10 years of exp , she is not IT manager or anything , but IT qualified, she does not work since 2007, she does not bring in any dough. some people say staying at home with 2 year adds to stress, some say like one above, the job may be adding stress, so what is that we are searching, reasons for bad behavior?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka
Raj once stated his wife's an IT manager with 10 years of experience or more.
Honestly, these women make the big bucks and they bring stress back into the house, coz the job is too demanding and mentally explosive.
What are all the details? can one give a whole life sketch on posts.? what details are you talking about? we have to think of now , your experience what ever you have with Indian diaspora, do you know every person and every family is unique.?
if you have question ask, dont blame?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka
I'm also having a feeling Raj's not giving us all the details.
I exactly know the "plethora" of problems that can exist between an Indian couple.
Sorry if my tone felt that way, but I kind of feel very odd when some one just assumes, what would I gain hiding details, we are not here to win anything, we want a opinion , if we would be manipulating here , then we would not have been here in first place ,because we know it wont work
Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode
No need to be offended, perhaps your wife is not the only family member
with anger issues. Get some counseling.
Raj, how are things now? Have you been able to quietly talk with your wife about what happened? I think you're right to be concerned about both things; her actions and your reactions.
Hopefully you and she can come to an agreement of how you will care for your son in the future. If you can agree and have common goals, hopefully you will each gently help the other towards the desired result. The idea is to work together, yes?
I think it's good for each of you to generally assume the other one is doing his best, given the situation. I also remember how frustrating and tiring it is to be dealing with a two year old late at night.
You wife is apparently dealing with some internal emotions that are impulsive when stress levels are high (such as crying/screaming toddler). While I am sure her intentions were not to harm your son, she is in need of some downtime. Do you have any family that can watch the kids for a weekend and the two of you get away together to talk? I strongly suggest that she gets some help as it will only get worse if not addressed....she is a walking time bomb and your children don't deserve her rath of emotions right now. She is overwhelmed and you need to help her. Best of luck to you.
Stating all the facts is not manipulating. Sometimes, posters exclude
certain info, I would suppose out of embarassement, I'm not saying that
is the case with you, just an assessment posters make when reading
and attempting to offer their advice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raj_USA
Sorry if my tone felt that way, but I kind of feel very odd when some one just assumes, what would I gain hiding details, we are not here to win anything, we want a opinion , if we would be manipulating here , then we would not have been here in first place ,because we know it wont work
How exactly does being a citizen matter in his case? Why do people assume that just because he is Indian, he isn't a citizen?
Ok, it goes a little deeper than just being a citizen, but I really don't want to know the rest..
But, to paraphrase, he said that his wife would go back to India and take the child. If she did that then he would have to go to India himself to fight for custody of the child. They are having problems in the US right now, and I'm assuming that the laws are different here than they are there - either way, doesn't matter, it's more to the point of the child going to India or not.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I would think that if he wasn't a citizen here then it would create a lot of problems if they did decide to get a divorce.. If he is a citizen then I would think that things would be more straight forward, if that makes sense.
Thing is, I don't think it's right for her to hit a kid that young. Personally, I'd rather not see her with full custody of the kids if it can be helped.. That's my opinion.. From what I read, I think he feels the same. So, if they can't get things worked out and they do get a divorce then he could fight to keep custody here..
I don't know if any of that makes sense or not.. I feel for the dude though, and worry about the kids..
As for your second point, I didn't automatically assume that he's not.. The reason that I asked was because he said that his wife would take the kids back to India. Personally, I don't care if he is or not, he sounds like a hell of a guy either way.. but still, I don't like to give advice unless I really know what I'm talking about..
Hopefully that explains it.. at least a little.
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