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Mackenzie Phillips's new revelation got me to thinking. She stated that her father was a good man despite all he did to her. I have heard this from many people about their abusive partners (note this is not just about women being abused). I have heard friends of these couples say the same thing. Heck I just said it in another thread about my friend's guy. "He/she has a huge heart, is a sweet person, is a nice guy/gal, but....he beats his wife/she's hooked on drugs and lost custody of her kids." I could give various examples, but I think you get the hint.
I prefer to think that most people are good and but can cross over given an extremely trying situation. I know people have flaws and are normally good but do really stupid things (my friend's boyfriend). Then there are people who are bad, with the capacity to be good. It is with these people that I become the most frustrated when I hear those statements.
Assuming Michelle's claims are true, do you think that her father was a good man who was troubled? Does the fact that he did not do this to his other girls re-enforce that he was good man? Would you say that people who abuse/neglect their kids, beat their spouses, commit violent crimes (like armed robbery) are good despite their actions?
I believe they have good in them only when they do what they can to end the behavior, like counseling.
Hmmm. I think good people make mistakes, but I don't think good people keep repeating them over and over. Good people can make bad decisions, but I also think good people recognize their bad decisions and do what they can to rectify things.
Hmmm. I think good people make mistakes, but I don't think good people keep repeating them over and over. Good people can make bad decisions, but I also think good people recognize their bad decisions and do what they can to rectify things.
I agree with you Spinx. If they don't do anything to rectify the situation, then its hard for me to still think their a good person.
I believe that good people make mistakes, but do not believe an abuser fits into the "good person" category. Abuse leaves permanent scars on the victim.
I think when the abused refer to their abuser as a 'good' person it is an attempt to rationalize what happened to them.
Definitely. Mackenzie Phillips actually accepts part of the responsibility for her relationship with her father because it was consensual. It's so sad.
I found her honesty brave and frankly refreshing, BUT...
She said many times that her stepmother "accused" her of having a mental illness. She stated, "I was addicted to drugs, I did not have a mental illness, they are two totally different things".
No, they're not. Addiction is a mental illness, a disease. It's in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, it's treated with medications and therapeutic modalities. She did millions of people a disservice by saying that she was "only an addict" and did not have a mental illness. I think she is still using "addiction" as a defense to not only exonerate her father but herself. I am not judging her or her father. What a terrible, unbelievably difficult childhood (or lack of one).
I think there is still some pathology there...
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