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No, usually you know when your husband is cheating on you. He is always working late, spends extra time looking good. Is "extra" tired when he comes home from working late, and usually takes a shower. He looks at his cell phone when it rings before picking it up, and often lets it go to voice mail in front of you.
Don't shame her, she either already knows, and just is making a choice, or she does not know, and is blissfullly happy not knowing. You telling her will make you the bad one, no matter what.
What does telling her accomplish? Why? It will look like malicious gossip, and you don't have any type of verification, so she could very well doubt you. It serves no purpose, but to hurt your friend. She will find out on her own, if she does not already know.
I wish my best friend had told me when my now ex-husband made a pass at her. I would have believed her without question. However, every situation is different, and you can never be certain how someone will react. Take your time about deciding, because once you say something, it's out there and can never be taken back.
I did. I would do it again. I told my friend exactly what I had seen and let her make up her own mind.
If I knew both of the people involved I would speak with the cheater first and tell that person what I had seen and tell him/her I was going to tell their SO what I had seen. Then it's up to them what they want to do.
I would tell her for sure. Yes, it will be painful, but she needs to know. If she chooses to stay with him after that, that is her choice, but she needs to know. I would want to know if I were in that same circumstance.
Location: where the moss is taking over the villages
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastelito de limon
If you are acquainted with the husband, I would be more inclined to approach him about the matter first. Let him know what you saw and give him the chance to fess up to his wife himself.
The wisest thing to do, though....is probably to stay out of it, I suppose. No telling what kind of trouble you could get yourself wrapped up in.
Also depends on how good of a friend the wife is to you. I don't think I could let a situation like this slide if it happened to one of my best friends. How could I ever look her in the eyes again with that burden in my soul?
But you're damned if you do, damned if you don't in some cases. Could be she will get angry with you for telling her. Or, perhaps, she will find out some other way and then be angry you didn't tell her.
Do what your conscience demands.
I was in this position once and chose to tell my friend. She confronted him, he admitted it and she quit speaking to me for some time (they stayed together). Our relationship was never the same after that although they did work through it and we did become friends again. She was able to forgive him for doing it before she was able to forgive me for telling her.
I think if I were in that situation again, I'd go to the SO first. If he (or she) wasn't willing to come clean then I'd go to my friend. I'm not looking to get in the middle of their relationship but if they are my friend I really couldn't keep something like that to myself. If a friend knew my SO was cheating and didn't tell me we wouldn't be friends once I found out about it.
My favorite situation, of people I knew, related to this, was when the other woman called the wife and told her that her husband was going to leave her and marry her. The wife said, (Having gone through this before) "I can guarantee you he won't and can prove it to you."
The other woman made arrangements for the husband to come to her apartment while the wife was hiding in the closet and the other woman broached the subject of him leaving his wife and marrying her. He assured her he was going to divorce his wife and marry her, whereby his wife came out of the closet and said, "Good to know." and walked out....can you say "DEER IN HEADLIGHTS!"
They eventually divorced, but not due to this particular instance.
Last edited by Thursday007; 09-29-2009 at 04:39 AM..
My favorite situation, of people I knew, related to this, was when the other woman called the wife and told her that her husband was going to leave her and marry her. The wife said, (Having gone through this before) "I can guarantee you he won't and can prove it to you."
The other woman made arrangements for the husband to come to her apartment while the wife was hiding in the closet and the other woman broached the subject of him leaving his wife and marrying her. He assured her he was going to divorce his wife and marry her, whereby his wife came out of the closet and said, "Good to know." and walked out....can you say "DEER IN HEADLIGHTS!"
They eventually divorced, but not due to this particular instance.
Jesus on a minibike. What's wrong with the wife here? She really went to the mistress's house and hid in the closet? Then didn't divorce him?
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