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When my ex-fiance broke up with me a couple weeks before our wedding, I thought it was typical "cold feet" and he had just recently started having doubts. After all, just a couple weeks earlier he had been telling me how much he loved and appreciated me, and how happy he was to be with me.
A couple weeks after the break-up I was talking to a friend of his, and it turned out my ex had been having doubts for FOUR MONTHS , meaning he'd been having doubts almost since the day he proposed. He bought a house with me and went through with planning a wedding, all the while knowing he probably wasn't going to go through with it. That made me madder than anything, that he wasn't honest upfront. He could have saved both of us a ton of money, and saved me a lot of heartache. Breaking up sooner would have still sucked, but it would have been much easier to get out of town and move on with my life if he hadn't delayed things the way he did.
Just hope your boyfriend never finds out how long you've been feeling this way.
Why wait a week? Just rip that bandaid off and quit wasting your time and his. Tell him what you think is appropriate, try to refrain from being purposefully hurtful for your own gain. You'll feel better in the long run if you take the high road.
I guess so but I'm sure he won't get hurt that much. From the beginning he had more advantages than me:
1) Having been in way more relationships than me while I was virgin at that time
2) He knew how to deal with arguments, while I would be the one apologizing almost every time
3) He has way more friends than me
4) He's street wise.. knows who is fooling him and can most of time detect lies while I was naivee at the time
5) And the fact that one woman would not hurt a man's feelings, if he's been in many previous relationship, me telling me the feeling are not there and to move on, he'll get over it fast...
Why wait a week? Just rip that bandaid off and quit wasting your time and his. Tell him what you think is appropriate, try to refrain from being purposefully hurtful for your own gain. You'll feel better in the long run if you take the high road.
That's why I changed my mind to not wait anymore and tell him as soon as he calls me again. He's now the one wasting his money on calling cards while I haven't even call him once since May (that time was just to be nice).
I guess so but I'm sure he won't get hurt that much. From the beginning he had more advantages than me:
1) Having been in way more relationships than me while I was virgin at that time
2) He knew how to deal with arguments, while I would be the one apologizing almost every time
3) He has way more friends than me
4) He's street wise.. knows who is fooling him and can most of time detect lies while I was naivee at the time
5) And the fact that one woman would not hurt a man's feelings, if he's been in many previous relationship, me telling me the feeling are not there and to move on, he'll get over it fast...
Personally speaking, there is no reason to add insult to injury. You are breaking up, that's enough of an action to say "hey, you sucked as a b/f". Although, some people need closure, so you should just tell him that you are not compatible and you want to date other people, period. The more you go into "details" the more room there is for arguing, name calling, etc.. and you want to always end things in an adult manner.
You CAN tell him the truth, but you can do so in a way that accurately reflects your feelings and yet is not harsh; a way that is honest, but is not mean-spirited or vengeful. It's up to you to find that balance.
I do wonder, though. Broken promises, unreliability, and he left your place right after sex - why did you wait all this time? I do assume and hope that along the way you sat him down and attempted to discuss these issues in hopes of salvaging this relationship?
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, meaning he'd been having doubts almost since the day he proposed. He bought a house with me and went through with planning a wedding, all the while knowing he probably wasn't going to go through with it. That made me madder than anything, that he wasn't honest upfront. He could have saved both of us a ton of money, and saved me a lot of heartache. Breaking up sooner would have still sucked, but it would have been much easier to get out of town and move on with my life if he hadn't delayed things the way he did.
