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That's your business, not mine, and you are entitled to whatever you feel.
Really, am I? Since when?
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Whatever "issues" I have with straight guys have been acquired through experience. I certainly wasn't born feeling any different about them than I do anyone else.
Every racist, sexist, homophobe can say the same thing.
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You think about that before you start telling me about myself and what you presume to be my "heterophobia," which is just nonsensical. My feelings have a basis in my reality that you couldn't possibly comprehend.
So it's ok for me to dislike you, knowing nothing about you, because of MY experiences with homosexuals. How is that not prejudice?
You made it clear already that we could never be friends based solely on the fact that I'm not gay.
That's too bad. I don't judge you that way. I would at least have the decency to try to be your friend and withhold judgement until I got to know you better.
I don't doubt for one second that you have good reason to be wary of straight guys. I don't blame you. I can give you a few things to add to the list.
Regardless of that, putting all heterosexual guys in the same category because of the actions of a few is by definition prejudice. If your prejudice against straight guys YOU ARE, yep thats right, heterophobic.
Every racist, sexist, homophobe can say the same thing.
So it's ok for me to dislike you, knowing nothing about you, because of MY experiences with homosexuals. How is that not prejudice?
You made it clear already that we could never be friends based solely on the fact that I'm not gay.
That's too bad. I don't judge you that way. I would at least have the decency to try to be your friend and withhold judgement until I got to know you better.
I don't doubt for one second that you have good reason to be wary of straight guys. I don't blame you. I can give you a few things to add to the list.
Regardless of that, putting all heterosexual guys in the same category because of the actions of a few is by definition prejudice. If your prejudice against straight guys YOU ARE, yep thats right, heterophobic.
I don't have to explain myself to you, and I'm not going to.
I've received some criticism because, as a gay man, I don't pursue or want friendships with heterosexual men, and try to avoid them. I suppose it's rooted in the fact that it's just an odd dynamic, and I often feel as though a heterosexual male would never feel completely comfortable around me, despite how accomodating and genuine I try to be towards everyone. Also, I don't see the point in having them as close friends at all, because there is little basis for our relations, aside from maybe some common interests/experiences. I ultimately feel like we exist in two different worlds.
Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Honestly, I think it's a shame you feel that way. I'm an openly gay guy and most of my friends are straight guys. In fact, of my five closest friends, four are guys and all four are straight. Granted, I've known most of them for a decade so we are all really used to one another, like brothers. I never feel uncomfortable around them and that seems to be mutual. I do realize that this isn't all that typical for gay guys, but it works great for me so it's definitely possible. The fact that your gay doesn't mean you don't have anything in common with straight guys, it doesn't mean you don't have some basis upon which to develop friendships with straight guys.
I've known many homophobic men. They'll make a huge presentation of the fact that they don't approve of being gay (unless it is between women, of course). They'll quiver and shake it off, make faces, letting everyone know they're trying so hard to get thought of it all out of their heads. Even the ones who say they don't care, yet they seal it with "...as long as they don't hit on me." astound me. My response to them - being gay doesn't mean they want you.
To the OP, let them tell you if they are uncomfortable. Don't cheat yourself by doing the thinking for them. I don't mean seek them out, friendships happen when they happen. Just don't close yourself up to them.
I've received some criticism because, as a gay man, I don't pursue or want friendships with heterosexual men, and try to avoid them. I suppose it's rooted in the fact that it's just an odd dynamic, and I often feel as though a heterosexual male would never feel completely comfortable around me, despite how accomodating and genuine I try to be towards everyone. Also, I don't see the point in having them as close friends at all, because there is little basis for our relations, aside from maybe some common interests/experiences. I ultimately feel like we exist in two different worlds.
Am I wrong for feeling this way?
Nope, if you feel that way you feel that way, and it's not wrong. The reasons you state for feeling that way tell me that perhaps you haven't met enough straight men. We have lots of straight men friends. Many of them wanted to be part of our marriage party, but we had to restrict numbers because the ceremony happened at our house and yard size was an issue. Everyone that was at the wedding was straight. We were the only gay people there, lol. (our gay friends were either busy, too far away, or weren't thrilled over the idea of marriage)
I empathize with you justcause. I myself am gay and lack in the male straight friend department. I have met and befriended a lot of straight male acquaintances over the years at school or at work but for various reasons they don't tend to be close friends. Here are some of the reasons I can think of: 1) I would say i'm somewhat comfortable with my sexuality, but have not come to adopt it where I am open and honest about my sexuality 24/7. When opportunities come up just in passing conversation to disclose my sexuality or my interests I sometimes censor myself. A part of that is due to my own insecurities. I think that a part of me projects my own insecurities about my sexuality onto straight males and makes me think that they will never be fully approving.
2) I like talking about guys I'm interested in and I feel like if I did that with a close male straight friend that they would be weirded out or grossed out in some way.
I know these are my issues to deal with and believe that as I become more comfortable and accepting of myself then I can be more comfortable with others around me. You're not alone justcause.
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I was half-joking in my response.
