Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If he refuses to wait for you, are you truly soulmates?
Yeah, that's a good question.
As far as the kids, I don't see where the problem is - one is adult and the other, even though still a little young, has a father and a family to remain with. She's not abandoning him - he was offered to move with her. Also, Canada is not halfway across the world.
In the days before children started running the households, they were doing what they were told to whether it was their first choice or not. Maybe some army brats don't want to move every couple of years or live in foreign countries, but they do because that's what their parents need to do and that's that.
Yeah - I believe as well that he should do whatever he can do be with me. Its so sad. I guess words and actions are definitely two different things. You would think someone that is 44 years old could make things happen, if he truly believes they are meant to be.
As far as the kids, I don't see where the problem is - one is adult and the other, even though still a little young, has a father and a family to remain with. She's not abandoning him - he was offered to move with her. Also, Canada is not halfway across the world.
In the days before children started running the households, they were doing what they were told to whether it was their first choice or not. Maybe some army brats don't want to move every couple of years or live in foreign countries, but they do because that's what their parents need to do and that's that.
I somewhat agree with that. I want them to be happy, but kids can adjust - love is for a lifetime. Its supposed to be. So I have to choose, to lose my love or lose being with my kids.
The drive is only 11 hours from me in Kentucky.
It might be best to move along and hope for better luck next time. If there is an unwillingness to wait or compromise he is not your soul mate. Whatever a soul mate is.it hurts now, but would hurt a lot worse down the road.
Yeah - I believe as well that he should do whatever he can do be with me. Its so sad. I guess words and actions are definitely two different things. You would think someone that is 44 years old could make things happen, if he truly believes they are meant to be.
Well, frankly, I can't see what else he could do short of moving here and I can't blame him for not wanting to do it. Even if he decides to make this sacrifice, let's say, by the same token he has a daughter who may not want to and most likely doesn't... As I said, this is a decision which should be up to the adults and it doesn't appear to be the case.
I think you should drop him. He's not willing to make sacrifices, but expects you to. If he really loved you, he'd be willing to at least meet you halfway. Your kids should come first right now, and he should understand that.
I say drop him. Yes, it will hurt, but if he's this selfish now, it will just get worse as the relationship continues.
If he refuses to wait for you, are you truly soulmates?
My sentiments exactly. It sounds like this has torn you up inside and it really is painful, but another perspective about the kids: do you really want to take your son that far from his father? I'm a firm believer that kids need both their parents while growing up, and a boy esp needs his father. Besides, the new man doesn't love you as much as he claims or he'd wait. Methinks he wants A woman, not the woman. Another thing: how well do you truly know this man? I didn't get a sense that you've spent that much time with him, so his not waiting could be a big red flag.
I'm 35 years old. I have two children. One is 18 and the other is 14. I divorced their father - it was final this year. But about a year ago I met a man that I believe to be the true love of my life. He is 44. He also has a daughter that is 16. The problem - he lives in Canada and I live in Kentucky.
I decided after discussing with my kids and meeting him and spending time with him that I wanted to move to Canada to be with him. We planned on getting married. My daughter decided since she was of age that she didnt want to move there. My son decided that he would move there with me, then he changed his mind and decided he would rather stay in Kentucky with his other family and his Dad.
We wanted this to work out so badly. We both feel as if we are each others soul mate.
One problem is that I dont feel right about going to Canada with my kids and all my family here. But he doesnt want to leave Canada because he feels like it is a better country - safer and better opportunities than the USA.
I have been given advice from family and friends and its all conflicting. I can't make my kids move - I want them to be happy.
For the first time in 15 years I am truly happy with this man.
I would love for him and his daughter to move here with me, just until my son gets a little older.
I have tried staying in Canada, I came back to visit often, but this too is hard on all of us.
I have been out of work for about 6 months and I finally have a job opportunity in Kentucky and would like to work here and at least build up some funds.
But he doesnt want me to do that. He wants me to come back right away and we will get married in the Spring. At which time I would be able to work there.
When I told him I would like to work here for a few months, he said I just lost my man. //pics3.city-data.com/forum/images/icons/icon9.gif
Im so sad, hurt, disappointed, torn....any advice someone could give would be greatful.
Selena
My first instinct is to tell you that one day your children will be grown and have families and lives of their own, and you will be a lonely old woman regretting that you did not take the chance on happiness when it presented itself. That would be my first instinct.
However, that having been said, your honey-bunny's unwillingness to compromise is very disturbing. "My way or the highway" is NOT an indication that someone cares about YOU and YOUR feelings. I promise you that this man is *not* the man you think he is, and packing up and moving to Canada would be the biggest mistake of your life.
If this man loved you as much as you love him, he would be willing to work out a compromise (most likely six months here, six months there...) But he does not appear to be willing to talk this over *at all*. Instead, he THREATENS you by attempting to intimidate you into doing what HE wants to do, regardless of your personal feelings, circumstances, etc.
Nope. You CAN do better. YOU WILL do better. Stay where you are, get your good job, save your money and eventually the RIGHT GUY will come along.
20yrsinBranson
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
